Ballerina dating

Dating a Ballerina. 11/09/2020 03/01/2020. Dating a dancer will be any other kind of dating — you have to be open minded and available to what this particular person provides. Dancing needs lots of extending and moving around on the dance floor to avoid any kind of injuries via any accidents just before you reduce the procedures on the ground ... Ballerina dating - Register and search over 40 million singles: chat. Rich woman looking for older man & younger man. I'm laid back and get along with everyone. Looking for an old soul like myself. I'm a man. My interests include staying up late and taking naps. Register and search over 40 million singles: chat. Kelsea Ballerini’s husband is Morgan Evans. Morgan Evans was born in Newcastle and is currently 35 years old. He is a Australian Country Singer. The couple started dating in 2016. They’ve been together for approximately 4 years, 5 months, and 30 days. Relationships. Kelsea Ballerini has had no other relationships that we know of.. About. Kelsea Ballerini is a 27 year old American Country Musician. Born Kelsea Nicole Ballerini on 12th September, 1993 in Mascot, Tennessee, she is famous for her debut single Love Me Like You Mean It in a career that spans 2013–present and 2014–present. The couple’s whirlwind romance began in March of 2016, when Ballerini, who grew up in Knoxville, Tennessee, first met Evans in his native Australia when they cohosted the CMC Awards, a country ... Violetta Komyshan is a ballerina and a social media influencer with 1.1 million followers — far more than your average dancer. She is also the longtime girlfriend of Ansel Elgort, one of the ...

Sept. 14th 2020 Q&A Session

2020.09.15 01:57 Skindiacus Sept. 14th 2020 Q&A Session

Here's a compilation of the answers from today's Q&A session. If you want more accurate sources, just search one of the questions in the #questions channel in the Chiv 2 Discord.
 
Q: Will the game be available at launch with multiple editions ? (classic, legendary, collector, etc... )
A: Multiple editions are planned. You'll have to wait and see for more info on that.
 
Q: Will there be more "meet the devs" posts akin to the one by Marc?
A: Indeed! We'd like the community to meet more of the team so expect more of these in the future.
 
Q: Will there be special events or game modes? For example like archers only, infection, ballerina moves enabled, etc.
A: Yes, we are planning on creating cool modes and then rolling them out on a certain basis. The fun will be kept alive!
 
Q: Will there be themed patches?
A: Chivalry 2 will continue to receive updates after launch, as for what those entail you'll have to see then
 
Q: Is the game ever coming to Steam? If so, is there a planned date for it?
A: We do plan to bring Chivalry 2 to Steam, approximately 1 year after the Epic Games Store launch.
 
Q: Do you have any plans for mods?
A: Post launch, we do want to pursue mod support.
 
Q: Will you run this game like a live service so we get a ton of updates for years rather than a Chivalry 3?
A: We plan on a long life for Chivalry 2 with a ton of post-launch support and updates. The proof will be in the pudding!
 
Q: There will be support for the south america servers?
A: our current plans are launch day official server support for SA, NA, AUS, ASIA, NA, EU
 
Q: Will there be a sickle as a weapon, specifically one you can spawn in as?
A: We have a good number of tools as weapons but you need to find them in the levels to use them.
 
Q: Are you guys back in the office? Are you guys enjoying development? Is everyone okay?
A: We are still working from home. Everybody is fine and safe, thank you for caring!
 
Q: I know it super early to ask, but will there be DLC's when the game is finished? Thanks for your work
A: Yes there will be DLCs of various sizes and content. We intend to keep the game alive as long as possible!
 
Q: Will chivalry 2 have splitscreen on both console and pc ?
A: No splitscreen planned
 
Q: will there be a darkforrest remake?
A: Dark Forest will return as a location but not a direct remake
 
Q: Will there ever be a limit to classes?
A: We're exploring this as a balancing option
 
Q: Will there ever be directional weapon swinging/blocking like in the mount and blade games?
A: No, mouse direction will not be used as the input for swing directions or blocks etc. Of course, you can do regular vs. alt direction swings using keyboard or mouse button input like in Chivalry 1.
 
Q: When we chop of someones head will we be able to pick it up and throw it ? this is a real question
A: Sharpen your swords and get throwing
 
Q: will there be weapon durability ?
A: That could be an interesting mechanic. But no, handheld weapons cannot be damaged currently. You will drop your weapon if you run out of stamina and are struck, though.
 
Q: WIll chiv 1's old maps be in chiv 2???? (E.G Belmez, Kings Garden, etc.)
A: Chivalry 2 will progress the story of the first Chivalry which means that canonically old battles won't be repeated. However, it's not impossible that old locations may be relevant in the continuing story
 
Q: Will you translate Chivalry 2 on Russian?
A: Russian will be an available localized language
submitted by Skindiacus to Chivalry2 [link] [comments]


2020.09.12 11:35 lipitor666 "and it doesn't. look that way to me. in. my. eyes."

the Engen-Guzman complex. It will be published (with a professional title soon enough) as it spews from a typewriter on/with purpose.
The "HEY (excuse me) SIR" brigade. fucken john jane Doe all the same. run of the mill sperm into the faceless machine. A pygmy version in the shadow of his brother. Praising instagram fans. I guess everyone is a fucken drug dealer. Imagine my half smile...and wide eyes... with a slight vicarious embarrassment... not surprised to hear automated "thank you" messages.
another microcosm.
The merriment dismembered by the flaws -becoming clinical for cynical applause. Unearthed often nightly, a reward tapped and lagged politely. Left for dead with obsolete artillery behind the scenes. Mouths full of maggots. Discovered sociopath's crumbled kingdom at Sutro Baths conjugating magic. ....unbelievable earfuls. Association nauseating. Shallow influence ovulating..... Dragged down by tadpoles and "so it goes".....contemplating slaughter with every pensive backstroke.....
dog years, 7:1. Waiting for your dementia to finally catch up (*go away*).
25 going on 40. 45 going on 15.
But what's new?? right??
Audio guys. Video guys. 4 out of 5 jaded beyond repair. Production tag-alongs. Roadies. So conditioned to grab a camera. IS HE SAYING SOMETHING THAT LYKE MIGHT BE COMPELLING OR SOMETHING? BUT WAIT, HOW MANY FOLLOWERS DOES HE HAVE?? BUT WAIT, I CAN BE A PART OF THIS! I FOUND HIM! I'M A PRODUCER! THIS IS MY CHANCE!
....... A gig never meant to be an occupation. Make rent to live in the city, but stay at the bottom of corporations. If you climb the ladder you'll see where procrastination and entitlement leads to. Those 40 year old narcissists. Getting used and raped and fucked and drained everyday by the smarter and more fortunate narcissists. It's not a deliberately chosen way to be when it simply comes down to how you can afford to eat. A motorcycle accident. Bald head split across 580. Suicide on a house boat with Abba and Dolly Parton on repeat. A never ending personality crisis. Ballerina's eating slim jims by the carton and taking drags around dick shaped noses. Ex-nerds. Damp residuals. Childless, nothing to live for, still the child (rips off T-shirt, male titties exposed "BUT I'M THE SWEETHEART!"...I guess everyone needs a job... And they've stuck around this long...still talking about those who came and went years ago (makes me cringe to imagine my name in their mouths). Promoting their own importance as if to remind themselves, to reinforce the denial on a daily basis. It was never a thrill or curiosity. It's always been a need to please the boss. All tatted up. Jello at the gym. Cameras. Siblings. Slime. Stories to relate. I split your brain. You have to lie every single day.
And the complicit fill the undesignated bleachers. Soulless, with no side to be on. Static larva sweating artificial butter, cheeks full of genetically modified popcorn. c-c-cccottage cheese 3d chess.
If co-workers are your only friends. If your work station is nicer than your home. If you've never been able to get a handle on your jealousy. If you succumb to your inferiority complex everyday. If you're way past your expiration date. If you believe your lies because your only goal is to please. If you're complicit to get a long. If you're reading this. If you spend years of your life decomposing and unable to realize why you felt so on top of the world vicariously living through my life. With an upper hand. An arbiter. With exquisite taste. If you're a self-proclaimed "artist" without any type of portfolio. You're a dime-a-dozen. I've been running my whole life, it's like a jungle sometimes.... The former head of the NSA now runs the amazon.
it's part of the complex, another interesting take on fatheson deeply unresolved issues.
...........
yeah, you.
I write. I type. The crystals on your screen get manipulated. All because a man came around...
But I remember the real ones. The seemingly downtrodden. Pensive amazement from how outnumbered we are. We don't follow. And it's sad that we have to dumb ourselves down and duck out just so that we don't have to carry you along. I feel like there's a train of goons behind me. And I'm providing them personalities whether I want to or not. And you probably deep-down think I should be lucky -but it's a double edged sword, because you also know that it's your edge to impose yourself into someones life who doesn't want anything to do with you. Keep pretending, stay diligent to my digital paper trail. So that one day you can fool someone else. Like you did me. And now we both know our mistakes. But look at the complete difference.
submitted by lipitor666 to u/lipitor666 [link] [comments]


2020.09.10 19:18 immabuyreps [Review] LV Emilie Rose Ballerina Wallet from DHGate seller Wlls10s

Disclosure: Nothing to disclose, no discount, free product, etc.
Seller: Wlls10 on Dhgate. Item link, and factory pics: https://m.dhgate.com/product/wholesale-9-colors-fashion-single-zippe502336809.html
My photos: https://imgur.com/a/LfztamE
I bought this wallet after reading the excellent review by anc96: /RepLadies/comments/i2im4h/lv_emilie_rose_ballerina_from_dhgate_wlls10s/
I also bought two LV Felicie bag reps from the same seller in a separate order. I'll review them later.
The price of the Emilie wallet was $22.96
Payment method: credit card through DHGate.
Shipping: Free shipping with Epacket.
Ordered: 08/22
Shipped: 08/24
Arrived: 09/02
PSP: I didn't ask for any PSP, there are lots of reviews with photos under the DHGate listing, and I also saw the photos in anc96's review.
Auth pictures: https://us.louisvuitton.com/eng-us/products/emilie-wallet-monogram-008394#M61289

Quality 10/10
Great quality for the price. Especially when many LV wallet reps cost over $100.
The construction and stitching are done well.
The wallet is sturdy and not skewed.
The stitching is nice and even.
The edges are smooth.
The zipper and the closure button work fine.
The canvas feels nice to the touch and has the right colors and texture. It feels just like LV canvas.
There is no fufu smell. The wallet smells of leather. I think the inside lining is leather, just like the lining in the auth.
The card slots are well-made and the cards fit in there well.

Accuracy 10/10
Pros:
This wallet looks exactly like the one in the auth pics.
The colors are identical.
All the compartments and card slots look like the ones on the auth.
I'm sorry for the quality of the pics. The color of the button, the inside of the flap, and the sides of the wallet are pink. Even though it looks like white or beige in my pics, it's the same light pink as in the photos of the auth wallet.
Alignment:
Everything is aligned well. All the monograms and flowers are in the same spots as on the auth.
The funniest thing is that the auth pics show that the monogram pattern is completely off-center on the front flap. You can see it for yourself. The flower behind the closure button is off-center in the auth's photos. Whereas on the rep the pattern is aligned much better.
The wallet comes in an LV box and a dust bag.
Cons:
-0, Anc96's review mentions that the stamp inside the flap is off-center. But that looks exactly as the auth's stamp. It's off-center there too, and the auth's and rep's stamps are absolutely identical. So I'm not taking any points off for this.
-0, There's no date code, but I don't want to take any points off for that for this price because the date code is usually buried inside. And I doubt that you'll let anyone put their nose inside your wallet.

Communication 10/10
The seller was always nice and very quick to reply.
After I placed two orders, one for the wallet, and one for two LV Felicie bags, I impulse bought a third bag and realized that I ordered it with a wrong lining color. So I asked the seller for a refund (the reason: item no longer wanted). The seller issued a refund immediately.

Satisfaction 10/10
I couldn't believe I was able to get a perfect LV wallet rep for this price.
It's one of those reps that you would never go back to buying auth anymore.
It's identical to the pics of the auth.
So no-one will be able to call you out when you're using it.
I'm very happy with it and will probably buy more in other colors.
This wallet along with two bags was my first rep purchase. I'm happy with the bags too.
submitted by immabuyreps to RepLadies [link] [comments]


2020.09.01 06:48 thekittestittes Emoji Fight [S4E10]: I have a theory the emoji fight is referring to actual events, I don't have it all figured out but - Chinese man, ballerina, apartment building is Nick dating Tran's granddaughter; Poop, turban guy, granny is Cece's wedding with Shivrang; Double syringe is Dr Sam. Thoughts?

Emoji Fight [S4E10]: I have a theory the emoji fight is referring to actual events, I don't have it all figured out but - Chinese man, ballerina, apartment building is Nick dating Tran's granddaughter; Poop, turban guy, granny is Cece's wedding with Shivrang; Double syringe is Dr Sam. Thoughts? submitted by thekittestittes to NewGirl [link] [comments]


2020.08.29 23:52 YourDailyDevil The Bastard Circus

Every circus needs a lion, so we went and we made one.
Please keep in mind this was the nineties, the early nineties, where parents attitudes towards raising healthy little boys was to simply push them to the great outside and tell them "don't get hurt." But we did, of course. And a lot at that. Broken bones and bruises and scrapes and dirt that never did wash off. Look at me, thirty now and I can still feel that dirty mud caked between my fingers whenever I pass a climbable tree.
I only realized it later in life but my mom and my dad would urge me to play because they were young and still quite in love. Not "mother and father," simply mom and dad, genuinely happy, genuinely smiling. And they would push me from the house a few afternoon hours midweek so they could sweep off into the bedroom and make love. Push me from their lives so they could enjoy each other.
I'm not bitter about it, not even remotely; on the contrary I consider it one of the defining reasons I had such a pleasantly blessed childhood, to be in the presence of people who needed each other. Granted, as early as seven I remember walking in on them much more then once, but I don't view it as traumatizing, just a bumbling faux pas.
Rachel was of course different. A single child, a lonely child, her parents considered themselves progressive for the mere notion of letting their little girl play with boys. Which was absurd of course, adding that the lot of us were too damn awkward and shy to try anything. Too young and dumb to even know what boys our age were supposed to try to do.
For us she was simply a girl. A girl our own age who liked animals, so she was one of us. She absolutely loved them, actually, despite her mother refusing to give her the kittens she never did stop pleading for. I do remember the Henshaw household as sterile, those porcelain collector types. Tiny Danish bears and dogs and elephants painted on them. Maybe that's where she got it all from.
Lord, we were awkward. The whole lot of us, stomping barefoot around pine needles and playing game versions of the things we had seen on TV. The Jorgenson brothers were a bit more popular, coming in and out of our group as they pleased (always happy when they graced us, as we considered them our 'cool' factor, reassuring us), them and Mark... I don't remember Mark as well as I should, but he did introduce us to Stevie, and that's the importance.
Something was certainly wrong with Stevie, and even as a child I understood that clear as day. So you're presented the world as a child, "this is right and this is wrong," a very vibrant black and white. And Stevie… in tatters in the middle of the street, pacing back and forth muttering and swinging his arms wildly at nothing in particular, fit into these invisible little "wrong" boxes I couldn't quite place at the time.
I remember asking him what was he doing. He told me he was fighting monsters. Simple as that. No offer to join, no explanation, just another flail of his arms as he wandered around, lips pursed as he made rockety sound effects. His own little world.
You see with Stevie, his father never did drive him to school, he simply arrived. Arrived from some part of town no one ever went, no one really discussed in polite company. Back then I didn't know the opinions on it as it truly was never talked about. "Drugs" was overheard from whispers sometime later, right before we moved away, but that was as far as discussing it went.
And it was Stevie's father who went on to give us our first genuine scare, or at least mine. You see you have any sort of alarming monster from 80's childrens movies, gaggles of witches that pop off heads, quicksand, but these are things you may assume exist but never do see as a child. These things may exist so you wait for them, but you go about your days not actually seeing anything 'wrong.'
So it was truly wrong when we came to Stevie's house, making a game of treading on the overgrown sidewalk as if it were its own jungle, and coming across what was Stevie's father.
With us, drawn to the blurting sounds Stevie made in the backyard, rockets and lasers as he waltzed about, there was a man before us on the crooked porch. And the man before the crooked porch door was not right. The man was naked, spare for socks, spare a mallet, a wicked looking thing. The scabs that covered him were so many and so course they could almost count for clothing. His eyes were wrong.
He told me to come, in a bark. I ran. All of us did. We didn't run together, we split for that afternoon, off in our rattled heads trying to understand what just happened. No adults told, and none to explain it, it just festered.
After that occurrence the Jorgensen brothers never did join us again. I caught up with them recently, two boys, now men, doing well. Married, humorous, happy they say, but after that evening they never did come to play.
Rachel and Mark did, daily. Inevitably. It was snuggled back in the woods, we decided to make a circus. Our circus. An idea that came naturally enough, as one overcast weekend we pretended to be animals. Mark was a wolf, going "growl" as he crawled on all fours over crispy leaves. I told Rachel to step right up, see the wolf, and he howled and she loved it.
Stevie joined us accidentally, and I can't remember if he followed us or was simply in the woods at the time, but we decided together to make him the best animal yet. Our circus would be real, and people would come far and wide. Hurrying home I picked out my mothers discarded mops and shawls (in hindsight I don't know if she ever realized they went missing) and we draped Stevie in full. Now you are a lion, we told him. Stevie never spoke but his eyes looked true.
What I mean by true is that the boy did not look happy, he did not look excited or remotely sad, but when told he was our lion, there was this noticeable silent wave of reassurance in him. Stevie was our lion. And when he sat he sat nobly. When he roared the birds fled.
And when we came back the next noon, he was there. Still there, patiently atop the forest floor. In a single night the earth had crusted his mane and made him, in the most peculiar sense, believable. Earthy tones on an earthy boy, empty blue eyes beneath a mop head mane. Our lion.
"Roar for me, lion." And he did.
Rachel twirled and Mark reached the sky, scampering amongst his friendly trees. In our little clearing it was more real than could be, truly a ballerina, truly an acrobat, myself the ringmaster of it all. Then truly of course our star attraction, that blue-eyed beast. This clearing of ours, and mudcaked and smiling we paraded around it, dancing around it, climbing around it, until we stumbled across a bird that had died.
Simple thing, sad thing, mundane even, a sparrow I believe. Dew wet, transfixed in a shriek. And it was without warning that Stevie devoured it. Three mechanic bites and a beak splitting crunch, pathetic outstretched feathers slipping past his agape jaw and suckled past his lips.
And for the briefest of moments that spell was broken. We were young again, scared tiny children, and the music stopped. The circus had ended and something was so very wrong. But as he roared that spell did surge to life, and we had back our lion. And we danced and whooped and raised our arms and were the greatest show on earth. The best in the world, and it was time to perform.
But that show never came. No grand spectacle for our awestruck classmates or the chuckling local parents, I never got to take the stage and boldly announce my troupe. What did come, so hushed and solemn squeezing into our decorated little classrooms, were policemen. Weary men, visibly tired and so very careful not to use the word "murder" in front of little children. They avoided the word at all cost, something I've begun to notice in children's shows too; those bad guys are never "murdered," sometimes the shows don't even use the word "kill." They are defeated, or 'ended' at worst, but these officers simply informed the cross-legged children something that bad had happened. Very, very bad.
And by God it was electric. There are things you can try hide from a small child but this all was simply too much to not blurt out at grocery stores in panicked fascination. The housewives were out in full force with their children clutched close, their husband's off somberly purchasing firearms, purchasing ammo. It finally broke the dam of the small town. Not that anyone knew Stevie's father of course, but everyone damn near memorized the macabre of it all. They knew that the entrails lined and caked the ceiling, oh god even the ceiling, as this mystery of a man had been torn to shreds. Pieces of him. That was all that was left. His neck, missing. His eyes, missing. His son, missing.
The spell had been broken for our little circus once again, this time completely, utterly. Mark and Rachel, quite. It was during this frantic era I had learned the word for 'drugs,' and 'homicide' even; a big word for a little boy but I liked the way it sound so I memorized it. Homicide. Homicide.
My dad never bought a gun but my parents did move, and we moved quickly. It put a strain on the marriage, something I noticed even then, as the two of them never whisked me outside so they could make love again. No, I was kept inside, within their eyesight, to a house they tried so very hard to make look like our last, as my mother strained to force a grin as she wiped the mud clear off me. That old spell had been broken.
It was recently, god, twenty years later (as crazy as it sounds), that I went to a true circus, the actual thing. A pick-up hogwash Romanian parking lot sideshow on what would be a second date. She was an erratic girl, a bubbly doe-eyed thing that named her stuff animals and went on her adventures, who did her giddy little happy dance at the mention of a circus.
Fun it was not, as the half-erect tent stank of vomit and the lights stayed weak. Poor girl. Her face was like someone snapped the neck off her dolls upon seeing it. That distain with a gloss of fear and childlike betrayal. She wanted to leave immediately, try something else, and I almost agreed with her, but god help me I couldn’t help but linger at the fakeness of it all. The absolute absurdity.
This was no a circus, what was this? The dancers were empty, no joy in the thought of doing perfect twirls for the world, no light bouncing from their eyes, and even the acrobats strained and old. Those imposters didn't reach the skies themselves but instead lingered above it on, barely above it all on their little sad stands. Little sad men. And there was no lion.
In truth, I entirely forgot about my girl on the city walk back to my loft. Lost in thoughts, though in hindsight should've sent a text at the least. But my mind was firmly on home. Home. True home, with its pine needles and sun.
And like clockwork I was pulled back, simple as that. Like clockwork I got in my car, pocketing my insulin and just simply drove. For hours on end and well into the night, just a few scattered truck brights as the company I didn't need. Didn’t even turn on the radio. No purpose, it couldn’t go louder then my thoughts.
The sky was near five when I pulled up, that weakest of morning light about to hit as there were no birds, no breeze. Just this humid silence everywhere as I made a game of treading over the overgrown sidewalk as if it were my own jungle. The sidewalk brought me upon a porch, that porch, and I remembered. It brought me inside, and I remembered. Remembered the circus sounds that never were, the music that was never played. As Rachel twirled and Mark reached the sky, I remembered every last note as I found the basement so well hidden amongst this decrepit place, abandoned from the crime so long ago. Unsellable, locally cursed, and very much reclaimed.
Of moss and vine with softest rustling, I hacked and clawed through flora and down and down, ‘til I hit the last stair, so certain he was there. It was that breathing, so rasp and guttural and from long ago, emitting from the jungle walls. All I had on me was a simple glucose tablet, crisp and pink, and I held it aloft to beckon it from the shadows. It sniffed. It recognized my mud.
Bones pronounced from starvation, one dark paw at a time it shambled, dreadlocked mane glistening off weak morning light. Of fur of fang of snout and claw, those tendons rippled and heaved to part and give way to two eyes, still blue. Still true.
"Roar for me, lion." And he did.
submitted by YourDailyDevil to WPCritique [link] [comments]


2020.08.25 23:51 WebsterHamster66 New Danganronpa Killing Game RP! Blackened Friday 3 - Role Reversal

Hi, I'm James, and I'm here with another Killing Game! It's the third part of a trilogy, but because there's going to be a recap before the thing starts, it shouldn't be too hard to jump right on into! Everyone gets to play as canon characters, made evil through brainwashing, who have their personalities replaced with OCs.
Blackened Friday 3 is the third and final installment of the Blackened Friday Trilogy, where Hope’s Peak was closed down, and most of the alumni were brainwashed into following a cult, serving as the antagonists. The first roleplay was set in a Mall, based off of Dead Rising, and centered around a mastermind that spoke only through notes and distorted voice recordings. The second one was set in a Police Station, based off of Resident Evil 2, and centered around the cult luring Miaya Gekkogahara, the main person going against the cult, into giving into her brainwashing by starting a Killing Game with her partners as participants, and capturing her when she arrived, alongside using the Killing Game as a means to an end to start a war with America.
The third installment is meant to tie everything together, set six months after the events of the second installment. Miaya Gekkogahara is long dead, having killed herself to escape turning into one of the cultists, and had succeeded postmortem to assassinate Kirumi Tojo, and stop the Police Station killing game. Kotoko Utsugi, the twenty three year old adopted daughter of Miaya, had been a major part in her plan by posing as a member of the cult, only to develop a strong case of PTSD after her mother died in her arms, and she herself was almost killed.
The cult for the last six months have been the target of a worldwide manhunt, however, their tracks have run cold, as the cult has replaced their personalities using a brain chip, making them into completely different people. The survivors of the previous two killing games are split on whether they want the cultists to die, be locked up, or given mental help to break them out of their brainwashing.
The one member of the cult that hasn’t been switched with a different personality, Yasuke Matsuda, the Ultimate Neurologist, summons the runaway cultists to the old Academy to be given their old personalities back, but before this can happen, and while the cult is all in one place, they’re locked up, and are forced to take part in a final Killing Game, created by several people that the Cult have wronged with their own Games.
- The Participants play Canon Characters, but only in physical appearance. Their brain takes the form of an OC that they themselves create. This means Byakuya can be a pastry chef, or a ballerina, or whatever you want him to be.
- The Killing Game takes place in Hope’s Peak Academy from Danganronpa 1, only with Ultimate Labs, and a destroyed appearance much like the Ultimate Academy from V3. Alongside taking place in the academy, however, there’s also a dilapidated fairground, which holds lore that slowly pieces what happened at Hope’s Peak twenty years ago together. Each room in the roleplay has its own Lore Scene, meaning participants get to see how things were at Hope’s Peak before everything went wrong, and in the middle of the brainwashing, and first ever Killing Game.
- A plot centering around the survivors of the first two Killing Games takes place alongside the action, as they try to figure out answers to their own questions.
- For the first time in the trilogy, Monokuma is finally active as a mastermind persona, being controlled by multiple people.
- The deceased get their own channel called The Afterlife Theater. The dead are able to converse with each other, and view the events of the Killing Game much like a movie.
- Participants can use their E-Handbooks to write private notes, in order to keep a journal log.
- A recap of the first two roleplays will be created, for people that are just now tuning in.
- Sandbox channels are available for potential players to practice their personalities and canon characters in, so nobody goes in unprepared, along with a channel for any questions you may have to be answered!
The planned start date is September 11th, and it would be nice to have the cast accepted by the 5th. We're running a little short on people, so we may extend the time a bit to fit people in, but we don't know yet! I'd say join regardless and see if we're still in need of people! Spectators are fine too!
https://discord.gg/sXmGD6b
submitted by WebsterHamster66 to RPDanganronpaChat [link] [comments]


2020.08.25 23:49 WebsterHamster66 New Danganronpa Killing Game RP! Blackened Friday 3: Role Reversal

Hi, I'm James, and I'm here with another Killing Game! It's the third part of a trilogy, but because there's going to be a recap before the thing starts, it shouldn't be too hard to jump right on into! Everyone gets to play as canon characters, made evil through brainwashing, who have their personalities replaced with OCs.
Blackened Friday 3 is the third and final installment of the Blackened Friday Trilogy, where Hope’s Peak was closed down, and most of the alumni were brainwashed into following a cult, serving as the antagonists. The first roleplay was set in a Mall, based off of Dead Rising, and centered around a mastermind that spoke only through notes and distorted voice recordings. The second one was set in a Police Station, based off of Resident Evil 2, and centered around the cult luring Miaya Gekkogahara, the main person going against the cult, into giving into her brainwashing by starting a Killing Game with her partners as participants, and capturing her when she arrived, alongside using the Killing Game as a means to an end to start a war with America.
The third installment is meant to tie everything together, set six months after the events of the second installment. Miaya Gekkogahara is long dead, having killed herself to escape turning into one of the cultists, and had succeeded postmortem to assassinate Kirumi Tojo, and stop the Police Station killing game. Kotoko Utsugi, the twenty three year old adopted daughter of Miaya, had been a major part in her plan by posing as a member of the cult, only to develop a strong case of PTSD after her mother died in her arms, and she herself was almost killed.
The cult for the last six months have been the target of a worldwide manhunt, however, their tracks have run cold, as the cult has replaced their personalities using a brain chip, making them into completely different people. The survivors of the previous two killing games are split on whether they want the cultists to die, be locked up, or given mental help to break them out of their brainwashing.
The one member of the cult that hasn’t been switched with a different personality, Yasuke Matsuda, the Ultimate Neurologist, summons the runaway cultists to the old Academy to be given their old personalities back, but before this can happen, and while the cult is all in one place, they’re locked up, and are forced to take part in a final Killing Game, created by several people that the Cult have wronged with their own Games.
- The Participants play Canon Characters, but only in physical appearance. Their brain takes the form of an OC that they themselves create. This means Byakuya can be a pastry chef, or a ballerina, or whatever you want him to be.
- The Killing Game takes place in Hope’s Peak Academy from Danganronpa 1, only with Ultimate Labs, and a destroyed appearance much like the Ultimate Academy from V3. Alongside taking place in the academy, however, there’s also a dilapidated fairground, which holds lore that slowly pieces what happened at Hope’s Peak twenty years ago together. Each room in the roleplay has its own Lore Scene, meaning participants get to see how things were at Hope’s Peak before everything went wrong, and in the middle of the brainwashing, and first ever Killing Game.
- A plot centering around the survivors of the first two Killing Games takes place alongside the action, as they try to figure out answers to their own questions.
- For the first time in the trilogy, Monokuma is finally active as a mastermind persona, being controlled by multiple people.
- The deceased get their own channel called The Afterlife Theater. The dead are able to converse with each other, and view the events of the Killing Game much like a movie.
- Participants can use their E-Handbooks to write private notes, in order to keep a journal log.
- A recap of the first two roleplays will be created, for people that are just now tuning in.
- Sandbox channels are available for potential players to practice their personalities and canon characters in, so nobody goes in unprepared, along with a channel for any questions you may have to be answered!
The planned start date is September 11th, and it would be nice to have the cast accepted by the 5th. We're running a little short on people, so we may extend the time a bit to fit people in, but we don't know yet! I'd say join regardless and see if we're still in need of people! Spectators are fine too!
https://discord.gg/sXmGD6b
submitted by WebsterHamster66 to danganronpa [link] [comments]


2020.08.23 14:35 PipPippeling I am 44 years old make $115,000, live in Amsterdam and work as a policy maker

Not so short introduction:
Woman, 44, American Dutchie (Dutch mum, American dad), recently single again, living alone in Amsterdam.
Other than the mortgage for my apartment I do not have debts. Not even study loans (bless the Dutch education system and Erasmus program). I used to be a ballerina (started balletschool when I was 7, graduated from the Royal Academy and worked for the Dutch National Ballet until I retired at 31) I went back to university and graduated law school. I am specialized in human rights. Nowadays I work as a policy maker for the Dutch government.
I have an 3 bedroom apartment in the center of Amsterdam which I bought 20 years ago with help from my parents. (They cosigned my mortgage, but I’ve always paid the mortgage myself.) I used to rent 2 bedrooms out to cover my costs when I was dancing and in uni. Just before corona hit, I redid my entire apartment; double glazing, all the wires for gas, electricity, outlets, kitchen, bathroom, paintwork - everything, which I paid for with my savings ($60,000).
The remaining mortgage is around $296,450 and current worth of the apartment is $1,100,000 (I am not kidding Amsterdam house prices have gone insane). I know thanks to the refurbishing, I needed an estimate for my insurances from a real estate agent.
Pensions in the Netherlands are different from the US; first we get a government pension from a certrain age (which for me probably will be when I turn 70). It’s around minimum wage. Secondly, all employees and most employers will pay for our pension. You save that with a specialized pension fund. You can’t touch the money. When you turn the required age you get a monthly income. For me that would be about 2/3 of my current income.
I have only $2,900 in savings left due to refurbishing my apartment.
No creditcard debts, I pay my credit card bill every month.
Main Job Monthly Take Home: $4490
Here is the take down: $7,555 gross a month minus $626 pension contribution and $2,439 taxes.
I also receive a fully paid public transport card for anything work related. Also my work laptop and work iPhone are fully paid for. My gym membership is $71 a month but reimbursed by work. Best part of being a civil servant in the Netherlands 12 weeks of paid holidays a year. Well, before corona this used to be a perk...
Expenses
Mortgage $1,215
Home owners association fee $29.65
Water $21.34 (monthly, billed every 3 months)
Gas/electricity $86.56
Life insurance $9 (it used to be mandatory when buying a house, basically if a home owner dies the family doesn’t have to worry about the mortgage)
Health insurance $143.48 - this covers everything that is qualified care.
Other insurances (legal, home, travel) $23.72
Mobile phone $27.27 (yes, even with a fully paid for workphone I have a personal phone)
Cable/wifi/internet $80.63
Newspapers and magazines $30.24 (I have a paper, monthly fashion magazine and a magazine on running, plud NY times esubscription - full luxury)
Spotify $9.99
Apple iCloud storage $0.99
Netflix $10.99
City taxes $50.49
Environment and waste taxes $33.75
Vitamines $13.04 (monthly, receive twice a year)
Personal trainer $260
Massage once a month $100
Donation to the National Ballet & Opera $260
Donations to animal shelter $15
Donation to Amnesty International $25
Various donations to research $100
Monthly savings should be $1,200 but I haven’t done this since mid March.
I don’t have a driver’s license. I do everything by bicycle, walking or public transport.

Day 1 total spent $66.99
7.30 I took a week off and temperatures got really high this week which resulted in a week where I did totally nothing except going to parks and riverside.
I do some yoga to wake up, shower, put sunscreen on, a bikini and a sundress, grab my beach bag and a botte of water from the freezer and cycle to a park/beach like area. It’s really quite in the morning and after 20 minutes I am ready for another tropical day. I roll out my towels, have a protein chocolate shake for breakfast and eat some berries. After that: time to read. I am finishing ‘Rodham’ and it’s quite entertaining.
10.00 I reapply more sunscreen (am I the only one who is single and wondering how to apply sunscreen to my back?), stroll to a beachstand and get myself a cappuccino to go, I grab a lemon poppy muffin along ($4.55)
Back to my towel and I text some friends to see how they are coping with the heat.
Not well. My sister tells me my oldest niece refuses to leave the pool and has decided she will become a mermaid.
14.00 The park and beach are getting busier. I pack my bag and cycle back home.
One of the perks of an old apartment is very high ceilings and inside my apartment it is relatively cool. I make a leftover salad for lunch with some eggs.
17.00 I ordered groceries from a new company and they deliver. It’s from farmers markets and really fresh plus top quality and therefore a bit more expensive than what I would normally pay. On the brightside: I don’t have to go to supermarkets. Total costs of groceries that will last me at least a week and a half: $62.44
Amsterdam is one of the two cities in the Netherlands were face masks are mandatory in some busy shopping streets. I do not know who made the map for Amsterdam, but it feels really random and also, the supervisory sucks. My solution: not going to the shops (for now at least)
I’d ordered fruit popsicles and can’t resist them. Pear flavor and they are good (yes, plural, I ate two)
19.30 I call my mum (you will read this a lot) and she is really not doing well with the heat. Most Dutch homes don’t have airconditioning. She has, in her bedroom, but doesn’t want to use it all the time, which I find ridiculous and I make her go to her bedroom and just sit in the coolness.
I don’t want to cook dinner so eat some carrots, cucumber, tomatoes, cashew nuts and drink a lot of Coke Zero with ice and lemon.
21.00 I do some more yoga. As a former ballerina everyone assumes I like yoga. I do not. However, it is something I can do everywhere and anytime and I feel better after I do it. I should make this my mantra: I feel better afterwards. I really do.
I’ve been quite depressed after my relation ended and corona quarantine hit so with this week I started to reintroduce structure to my day. Well, I tried...
21.30 One of my friends has just started online dating and I am a bit annoyed with her; she doesn’t let one of us know when she spends the night with a man (ahh the dating life) Turns out I am not the only one fuming at her and she promises to do better. I am also a bit jealous of her; I just can’t get used to the idea to date in the current situation.
22.45 I move to my bedroom, turn the fan on and watch Netflix (and eat chocolate) until I fall a sleep which is already the next morning.
Day 2 total spent $31.48
7.30 It is Saturday and I wake up at 7.30. Why? I am terrible waking up on weekdays but the weekend, no problem usually. So strange. I get up and see that the forecast is really heavy showers and cooler temperatures later. I put on some running shorts and grab my headphones and go for a quick run.
Turns out the rain was just waiting for me to be halfway. I get back home as quickly as I can, but I am fully, totally soaked.
Saturdays are my selfcare days, so the rest of the morning I am busy in my beautiful bathroom. I wash my hair (Olaplex - takes forever, but very worth it), do a mani and pedi, scrub, put a mask on, the whole shabang.
13.00 Yes, I hadn’t eaten anything or had coffee. That is never a good idea. I quickly make a iced coffee (just black coffee with ice cubes, shoot me) and make pancakes with a lot of syrup.
14.30 I FaceTime my best friend. She is in lock down at her home, ‘cause her sister has corona and she saw her sister. She is also living alone and finds the lock down at home extremely hard, especially with the tropical temperatures.
18.00 This happens a lot. It suddenly is late. How did that happen? I bake some sourdough bread and have that with butter and salt.
Order a pink glitter bomb confetti card for my friend, yes, I am that sort of friend. $4.15
19.30 I am rearranging my furniture. My spare bedroom has become my home office and that means I have to find another place for all my workout gear. Spinning bike moves to my bedroom and weights to my dressing room. Order some boxes from Ikea so I can store more stuff under the stairs. Luckily, Ikea homedelivers ($27.33)
22.30 Feeling restless, so I put on a podcast. I listen to one about grief and that wasn’t my best idea... End up crying, feeling anxious and tired, but not so tired I can sleep.
Put on Netflix, grab a bag of popcorn (whoever thought of peanutbutter popcorn is a genius), and end up rewatching Lucifer. At least it entertains me till the next morning
Day 3 total spent $345.00
7.00 I wake to my phone buzzing and it’s one of my friends who wants to FaceTime. I look like shit, so instead call her back. I suspect my friends made a schedule to make sure I don’t go downhill any further. My fiancé broke up with me mid March and has since moved in with another woman and I have so many questions and basically am just angry. Not good. I love my friends for looking after me , but not at 7 in the morning.
9.00 Finally get out of bed and do laundry and clean my house. But first coffee. I am nearly out of beans and order them from my favorite shop ($57.40) I love cleaning. My mum and I used to joke that we should start a cleaning company together.
12.00 Make brunch with poached eggs, bacon, toasted sourdough and a fruit salad.
Clean the kitchen afterwards.
Sort all my trash and nearly fall down the stairs while taking down the trash.
15.00 Order flowers for my great grandaunt who trip over a stone and broke her shoulder. She’s 94 and as though as one can be ($27.60 - flowers are so much cheaper here than anywhere else; this is for a big bouquet and includes delivery)
18.30 I call my mum and afterwards my sister. Her husband is an actor and she is a pilates instructor. Both receive corona benefits and are happy that that will see them through for now. I transfer some money to my sis to give her some wiggle room ($260)
Day 4 total spent $8.65
6.45 My alarm goes off and here starts the game ‘I do not want to get out of bed, how many times can I snooze?’ Unfortunately, today it is 8h30 when I finally get out of bed. I stretch and do some yoga before making coffee and a big bowl of porridge with honey and raspberries.
Yes, I did not shower. I know. I do brush my teeth and wash my face.
I put my hair in a bun and put on a sports bra, leggings and a top and trainers. My standard stay at home outfit since mid March.
Check in on my team who are not happy that we are still working from home. We all are fully aware it is necessary, but we are so ready to go back to the office. Plans are that as of September we are allowed back once a week (spoiler: later this week the government decided that this was not gonna happen)
12.30 I make lunch: a huge bowl of fresh pasta with homemade tomato sauce and meatballs and call a colleague who is about to start his holidays. He’s going to his parents’ house in France, thankfully by car so he can easily come back if France goes in lockdown again. Freeze the rest of the pasta.
16.00 Snack time: I go out a buy cookies and Coke zero ($8.65) at the shop that is also my post office and pick up some parcels. The shop has big squares on the floor to keep distance. I joke to the shopowner he should get a dice and make it into a game and he enjoys that idea.
19.00 I call it a day and call my mum. As said, we call every day since my father passed away a couple of years ago. She is in good spirits thanks to the rain and I am so happy to hear that.
19.30 Dinner is grilled tuna with tomatoes, freshly baked bread and green beans.
Texting friends while making dinner and nearly killing my phone when I smash crash it through the kitchen.
20.30 Tuna is not a smart choice for dinner when you do a spinning session. I take it easy while watching Ricky Gervais’ Humanity on Netflix (I do not know whether or not I like it). I’ve bought a spinning bike to workout from home when the gyms closed. Gyms have reopened but I am still hesitant to go back to the spinning studio ‘cause it is in a room without windows.
22.30 I should go to bed. However, welcome to my head and my spiraling thoughts. After an hour I take a shower and listen to Spotify playlist piano music. It doesn’t work and I end up watching Netflix (Eurovison, it is strange and after that Crazy Delicious) again till the wee hours of the morning.
Day 5 total spent $1.15
6.45 Nope, ain’t gonna happen. I get up at 7.30, take a shower and put on exercise clothes. Eat a banana and grab a towel, bottle of water and cycle to meet my trainer. On Tuesdays and Fridays I work out with a personal trainer. We work out at one of the parks nearby unless it’s too hot like it was Friday.
8.30 Back home, shower, get dressed in yoga top and leggings. Picked up a freshly baked croissant ($1.15) Make my usual coffee and enjoy breakfast on my balcony.
Tuesdays are really busy at work, full day of Webex and Zoom meetings. Suddenly it’s 13h and I quickly make porridge, this time with apricot jam.
My secretary texts me that the minister would like to do an IRL meet in the Hague, would I mind to come to the office on Thursday? I do and don’t - I really need to see other people, but I have to use public transport to get to the Hague and I haven’t done that yet. Mask are mandatory in public transport.
Fun fact: although Amsterdam is the capital of the Netherlands, parliament and all the ministries are based in the Hague.
19.00 Quick call to my mum. I attempt to make a stir fry of broccoli, asparagus and green beans with chicken and brown rice but it’s not a huge success.
While eating I call a friend who lives in Maastricht. We chat for 4 hours straight and I feel calm and happy afterwards.
23.30 Brush teeth, do skincare routine (the Ordinary serum - it is bright red and I look like I am wounded) and meditate.
Day 6 total spent $213.76
6.45 Ugh. Yes, I know. Snooze. Get up at 7.55 and am ridiculously proud of myself.
Shower, athleisure wear, breakfast: I make scrambled eggs with toast and butter and my daily dose of caffeine.
8.30 Another endless day of meetings. There was an article in my newspaper that online meetings drain energy much faster than IRL meetings and I fully, wholeheartedly agree.
10.00 Computer says no. Our system just went down. My WhatsApp explodes with complaints. We can access our mail on the phone but no documents are available. I use this as an excuses to do some online clothes shopping for autumn. Sales are on and I need some pants. End up buying black wool pants from my favorite brand and somehow also buy more athleisure wear. More black compression leggings ‘cause well, shut up. Total $213.76
12.30 Early lunch, systems are still down. I make French toast with cinnamon sugar. Really happy with the result and proudly text my mum who is not impressed (somehow I did not inherit my mums cooking gene) I do my laundry in my new laundry room - people, I never knew this a thing, it is, while making some calls and make a to-do list for the rest of the week. System is still down.
16.00 I have a Zoom call with my psychologist. The pandemic and the end of my relation were two triggers that made me fairly depressed and I’ve spent months on my couch or in bed just doing nothing. I feel very lonely at the moment, even with chatting to family and friends. I am not lonely, I feel that way.
17.30 It was a heavy session and I feel worn out. I put on my trainers and go for a stroll. It is strange to walk around in a nearly deserted city. Although tourists are slowly coming back, the numbers are much lower. Unfortunately I do feel like it are all the drinking, drugs doing, screaming tourists.
Yes, you can do drugs in the Netherlands. No, most of us have never done drugs.
19.00 I call my mum and we discuss whether she should come to visit this weekend. I say no, mum doesn’t say anything which basically means she will come to see me whether I agree or not. I make another attempt at a stir fry, this time with noodles, shrimps, cilantro, zucchini and bell peppers. Meh.
20.00 On the news the government announces that contaminations are rising again and that we have to keep working from home until further notice. Although totally expected and understandable it hits me hard and I cry than eat chocolate.
21.00 My phone explodes with everyone’s opinions and views what to do now. I text my team to tell them that we will have to work from home until further notice and that I know it is hard. I strongly urge them not to go back to the office unless it is really necessary.
I text my boss about tomorrow’s appointment with the minister. It’s still on.
23.00 Bedtime. I’ve had Headspace in the past and wonder if I should try that again.
Day 7 total spent $287.98
6.45 I snooze. My therapist says I shouldn’t do it and just set a later alarm. He’s right. Get out of bed at 7 and do some meditation exercises and yoga.
Get fully dressed with a suit and heels. Pack my office bag and add hand sanitizer, face masks in plastic bags and wet wipes.
8.00 On the train to The Hague. It is eery to see how quiet the train is. Everyone is wearing a face mask. I like how some have done their best to do something extraordinary: I see a girl with a glitter mask and a man with a spiderman one. This used to be the busiest train: Amsterdam is its start and even than I often had to stand. Not today.
9.00 Arrive at the office and feel quit emotional. Walk to my favorite coffee place and it is deserted. I order a cappuccino to go with a croissant and chat with the barrista ($7.68)
The office is deserted. I log in and take a selfie to send to my team. Somehow I work better at the office. I prepare the meeting with the minister and it goes well.
Even there we keep distance and the security staff checks in several times.
11.30 Have a coffee appointment with my director. She pays for the coffee. We walk & talk, a lot is about non work topics. After this, I order a salad with bread to go and a green juice for lunch ($17.60)
14.30 I really need new running shoes but am hesitant to go to a store. Ask my physiotherapist for advice and he says to reorder the same ones I already have online. Find my Mizunos and order ($137.59)
16.00 I need something sweet and I need caffeine. Quick dash to our cafeteria and grab a Twix and a bottle of Coke Zero ($7.68). Chat with my secretary through Webex and ask her if she has everything she needs at home.
19.00 It almost feels like a normal workday until I walk to the train. Put mask on and again it is so quiet. I call mum and send her a trainselfie. Start a new book: the latest of Deborah Harkness. I really liked the first 3 books, this one I am on the fence about. Cycle to home from the station and arrive at home at 20.30, make dinner with leftover veggies and some mince meat from the freezer.
21.30 I get an e-mail from my favorite beauty website that the have a sale. I shouldn’t. I have too much stuff. Yeah, I order anyway: Olaplex no. 3 in a big bottle and more stuff form the Ordinary and the Inkey List ($117.43)
23.30 Bedtime! I listen to some piano music and try to go to sleep.
Reflections
My spending was normal for what I do since quarantine started. I treat myself to too much stuff I find I need and want.
It was really insightful to see this and it left me wondering why I do it. Gonna curb my spending and back to a budget ‘cause I do not feel comfortable with so little money in my savings.
Sorry for all the complaining in the diary and thanks for reading!
submitted by PipPippeling to MoneyDiariesACTIVE [link] [comments]


2020.08.20 14:41 monologousmutilation William Afton - Wikipedia

Took a while to make this. No scares, just a fun headcanon-filled Wikipedia article I made. Can you find all the easter eggs?
William Charles Afton (Born December 19th, 1944 - disappeared August 3rd, 1996, declared dead September 15th, 1999) was an England-born inventor, engineer, businessman, and entrepreneur. A pioneer of the robotics field and the children’s entertainment industry, Afton contributed heavily to the advancement of animatronic design and the founding of Fazbear Entertainment, a corporation (and later media conglomerate) specializing in children’s entertainment and animatronics. Afton also founded the titular company Afton Robotics, an animatronic manufacturer well known for producing and supplying animatronic characters for restaurants like Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza before filing for bankruptcy in 2005.
Born in Manchester, England, Afton studied robotics engineering for most of the 1960s, receiving a master’s degree in engineering from the University of Manchester Institute of Science and Technology in 1974. After his emigration to the United States of America in 1978, Afton established Fredbear’s Family Diner with business partner and personal friend Henry Emily, working directly with Emily as owner of the establishment until stepping down in 1981, citing creative differences over Emily’s founding of Fazbear Entertainment, and founding Afton Robotics.
Afton received heavy publicity in 1983 when he was arrested and charged with four counts of first-degree murder in June, after becoming a prime suspect of the investigation following the disappearance of 4 (possibly 5) children inside Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza in Hurricane, Utah. A criminal trial followed soon after, but Afton was acquitted of all charges in July. Afton became the subject of more scrutiny in September 1984, when Afton Robotics’ highly-anticipated entertainment venue, Circus Baby’s Pizza World, was permanently shut down days before its grand opening; Afton Robotics issued an official statement citing gas leaks and dissatisfaction with its animatronic characters.
William Afton remained CEO of Afton Robotics until he was reported to have gone missing on August 3rd, 1996. Multiple suspects were questioned, including former business partner Henry Emily and Afton’s oldest son Michael, but the investigation was considered a dead end by the end of 1996, and Afton was declared dead on September 15th, 1999. Afton Robotics suffered a heavy loss in stocks following Afton’s disappearance, and later filed for bankruptcy in 2005.
Early life
William Afton was born in 1944 to Samantha and Kane Afton (a wealthy local judge) in West Manchester General Hospital in the city of the same name. William attended Wool Bonne Preparatory School - teachers described Afton as “pleasant” and “remarkable” - in an interview with local New Harmony news station Flash 58, Afton described his childhood in length.
“I wasn’t the nicest kid around. Bit of a spoiled brat, actually. I had friends… but it was always my studies I was concerned about. I think I was a bit of a prick when I was a kid. I remember chasing around some of the other kids, the younger ones, and I’d poke them and tease them and- well, kid things. I’d apologize to them now, but - heh, I don’t even remember their names.” -William Afton, August 10th, 1988, Flash 58 interviews Afton Robotics CEO.
Afton lived in Manchester until he moved to Liverpool in 1967. By 1974, Afton received a master’s degree from the University of Manchester Institute of Science and Technology.
In 1967, Afton married local actress Jacqueline Hart. Together, they had three children: Michael Joseph Afton (1969-2024), Elizabeth Samantha Afton (1973-1984), and Cassidy Kane Afton (1977-1983). From 1974 to 1978, Afton worked at a local telecommunications company. According to Afton himself in an interview with HUTV News, he spent a substantial amount of this time attempting to finance his Springlock Mascot Suit Endo-00 design:
“Ah yes, the suits. I’ve always regretted those damned things [...] after I received my degree and I settled down with my wife in Liverpool, I’d finalized the design, or so I thought at the time, but I needed money. And times weren’t the best back then [...] no one was interested in it, for one. Said the animatronic stuff was a fad… plus they were just too dangerous. I’d never actually gotten to build the design until I collaborated with Henry, and I hadn’t noticed how dangerous they were until I saw them in person… even after that though, I suppose it wasn’t enough.” -William Afton, March 5th, 1988, HUTV News: Interview with Afton Robotics CEO: Circus Baby's Comeback.
Afton made plans to emigrate to the United States of America with his family after these attempts were rendered unsuccessful, though Afton never made a statement as to why. On February 7th, 1978, Afton’s wife Jacqueline was reported dead. Coroners ruled the cause of death as a pulmonary embolism. Later that year in April, William and his three children emigrated to the USA, moving to New Harmony, Utah.
Career with Fazbear Entertainment
Not much is known about Afton’s life in America before founding Fredbear’s Family Diner with fellow entrepreneur Henry Emily in New Harmony, Utah. An excerpt from the diner’s “Welcome board” reads as follows:
“MEET FREDBEAR AND SPRINGBONNIE’S GREATEST FRIENDS! Henry Emily and William Afton have worked hard to bring the greatest in entertainment right to the doorstep of New Harmony. It was not so long ago when Henry and his friend Fredbear were looking for fellow band members - what a surprise it was for them when William Afton and great friend Springbonnie, also looking for work and companionship, met them and devised the unforgettable and affordable experience you’re in RIGHT NOW! You can always catch Henry Emily introducing the bear-and-bunny duo on Saturday nights, and William Afton is always hard at work sending out letters for any furry friends who wish to join them on their adventure.” -Welcome board for Fredbear’s Family Diner, New Harmony, Utah, observed in 1979.
Afton was historically outspoken as to the mutual understanding of his partnership with Emily, stating in a press release in 1981 that Emily “took [his] fantasies and allowed [him] to make them reality.” The official design for Afton’s Springlock Mascot Suit Endo-01 was filed and patented in June 1978, with two versions being manufactured by Afton and Emily themselves; the RXP-001 and RXQ-001 models, to be used as bases for characters later officially named Fredbear and Springbonnie. (See list of Fazbear Entertainment mascots and characters for more info.) Fredbear’s Family Diner officially opened to the public on August 13th, 1978, immediately becoming a local sensation in New Harmony.
At the time, the Springlock Mascot Suit Endo-01 design was considered revolutionary in the field of robotics, and paved the way for animatronic design in the future. The original Endo-00 design was meant to serve the dual purpose of a mascot suit to be worn by a human operator that could also be shifted into an "animatronic mode" - blueprint designs of the Endo-00 design released by Afton Robotics in 1985 noted how iron springlocks lined around the inside of the suit could be manually adjusted to allow for the pieces of the animatronic endoskeleton to detach and compress into the lining of the outer casing to allow for use as a suit. The Endo-00 design was never properly manufactured; when the Endo-01 design was finalized and the RXP-001 and RXQ-001 models were built by Emily and Afton, the transition process from "suit" to "animatronic" mode was simplified by allowing the operator to use a metal crank (inserted into various slots of the suit) to adjust the springlocks without needing to open the suit. In "animatronic" mode, the Endo-01 design was capable of fully simulated head, torso, and arm movement. The two Springlock Mascot Suit -01 models were regularly used by Fredbear's Family Diner for several years until 1983.
Establishing Afton Robotics
In January 1981, Fazbear Entertainment was established by Emily and plans to expand the Fazbear franchise surfaced - by 1982, Fredbear's Family Diner regularly advertised and promoted Freddy Fazbear's Pizza, a new restaurant set for opening in 1983 in the neighboring city of Hurricane, Utah. Afton Robotics was founded later in February, and William Afton stepped down from management of Fredbear's Family Diner. In an issue of The Daily Duck, New Harmony's local newspaper, Fazbear Entertainment issued a public statement:
"Don't worry, folks! Here at Fazbear Entertainment we pride ourselves on transparency and familiarity. We have good news and bad news. The bad news is: our dear friend William Afton will be officially leaving the Fredbear family as of February 14th. The good news is: Afton's dear work has paid off, and we will still be in contact with him! After over a year of searching, thanks to Afton's help, we have found a merry band of four furry friends looking for the perfect stage to test their skills… and entertain some kids along the way! William and his new friends over at Afton Robotics are working very hard to bring these new friends to you, so please be patient. If you have any questions, be sure to contact our customer support number - or, if you're already here, why not ask Fredbear himself at Fredbear's Family Diner?" -Fazbear Entertainment Public Statement, The Daily Duck, February 7th 1981 issue.
In March 1981, a patent was filed by Afton Robotics for the Mascot Endo-X, a modification of the Springlock Mascot Suit Endo-01 design that removed "suit mode" features and expanded on motion capabilities and durability. Experts were initially sceptical of the Mascot Endo-X design, labelling the added motion capabilities (such as walking and crouching) to be "ludicrous" and "far-fetched" - in response to this criticism, Afton held a short presentation in Salt Lake City, showcasing a prototype base Endo-X model, featuring precision joints in hands for advanced finger movement, installable balance actuators for torso and limbs, magnetic on/off panels on bottoms of feet to ground endoskeleton, and other features not seen in marketed robotics at the time. Also presented were five additional Endo-X designs with individual features:
FF-1: Advanced speakers placed inside the torso to simulate speaking and singing; music box synthesizer module inside chest.
BB-1: Authentic guitar with simulated song speaker; simulated LED eye color capable of cycling through multiple colors.
CC-1: Intended to hold a smaller mechanical object capable of blinking and "laughing", held snug onto hand via magnets.
FP-1: Individually moving eyepatch; advanced arm and leg movement to enable "peeking".
SP-1: Frequency inspection system; sound familiarity and recognition; capable of sounding alarms and alerting staff via sound plugin connected to mainframe.
Few information was given on the characters the models would be used for until 1982 when Fazbear Entertainment held its own press conference revealing its partnership with Afton Robotics and identifying the characters as Freddy Fazbear, Bonnie the Bunny, Chica Chicken, and Foxy the Pirate, to be used in the Freddy Fazbear's Pizza restaurant. Of particular interest to shareholders and news reporters during the Afton Robotics presentation was the SP-1 model, later officially named Marionette by Fazbear Entertainment; Afton himself coined it to be a "security guard", capable of identifying objects and persons using security tags embedded in bracelets.
This presentation was a turning point for Afton's career and the future of Afton Robotics. Quarterly stocks raised exponentially; various children's entertainment venues such as Melody Way Inc. reportedly underwent production contracts with Afton Robotics. However, at this point in time, Afton was adamant to press that his highest priority was the company's contract with Fazbear Entertainment. While the company produced several animatronic characters for various venues (see list of Afton Robotics contracts and publishers for more info), Afton Robotics gained the majority of its fortune and reputation through its dealings with Fazbear Entertainment.
In April 1981, Afton Robotics bought a large automobile factory in New Harmony, Utah, at the time owned by automaker company Hadcappe. This factory would become the main headquarters of Afton Robotics over time, and one of three Afton Robotics factories in the Midwest dedicated to animatronic development and production. The New Harmony facility was unique from its sister locations in how Afton Robotics excavated underground to increase storage size and plans - it would later be officially named Circus Baby’s Entertainment and Rental after Afton Robotics’ fallout with Fazbear Entertainment in 1988.
Safety inspections and controversy
The first of many controversies to plague William Afton struck in February 1983 following the death of Charlotte Lorraine Emily, the seven-year old daughter of Henry Emily, who was found dead in an alley behind Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza. Eyewitness reports were few and far between - parents claimed that Emily’s daughter had been playing with several other children in the Marionette character's “play zone” when she was reportedly locked outside, then found dead in the alley by her father upon closing.
Several shareholders of Afton Robotics criticized the SP-001 (“Marionette”) model for its inability to prevent Charlotte Emily’s death - members of the press questioned Afton as to possible exaggeration of the SP-001 model’s abilities. Camera footage showed that the Marionette animatronic was inside its “home box” when Emily was locked outside, and failed to follow her until she had already died, decommissioning itself in the process due to the heavy rain. This behavior was not indicative of the behavior Afton had previously promised of the SP-001 model, and market interest in the model fell dramatically until Afton Robotics finally stopped selling the animatronic model later that year. Fazbear Entertainment’s CEO Henry Emily also stepped down less than a week after the incident occurred.
Following the opening of Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza in January 1983, additional RXP-001 and RXQ-001 Springlock Mascot Suit Endo-01 models were built as backup mascots for the location - Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza was well known for hosting “guest parties” for special occasions featuring the Fredbear and Springbonnie characters using these suits. Following Henry Emily’s official stepping down from CEO of Fazbear Entertainment in February 1983, the company began plans to expand with more Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza locations across America, particularly focusing on the Midwest.
Afton himself also worked directly with the management of the Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza in Hurricane, Utah on occasion, working as a technician and training employees on proper usage of the suits. Afton recounted his experience in an issue of People Magazine released on November 25th, 1987:
“Well, Henry was gone by that point, yes, but I felt a responsibility to keep his legacy safe, and those suits weren’t safe if they weren’t handled properly… as you can tell. Henry had hired people who were damn good at entertaining children and upholding a safe environment, yes, but when it came to experience with the animatronics and the suits, they were lacking. Really, I was only there to educate them on the suits and keep them aware of the risks and how to mitigate them… Luckily Franklin followed my advice and hired Jonathan, and soon my help wasn’t needed.” -William Afton, November 25th, 1987, Afton Robotics CEO addresses controversy. * Franklin Scott was the CEO of Fazbear Entertainment following Emily’s leave. **Jonathan Sordic was an Afton Robotics specialist hired by Fazbear Entertainment in late February 1983 to train fellow staff on usage of the Endo-01 suits, later promoted to management in 1985.
Afton’s Endo-01 design was officially recalled in March 1983 after Fazbear Entertainment staff member Craig Morgan died of exsanguination while wearing the RXP-001 (“Fredbear”) mascot suit at Fredbear’s Family Diner - witness reports and coroner records detailed that the suit suffered a critical springlock failure when Morgan bumped into a table, tripped, and fell onto the floor - multiple children in the diner witnessed a piece of the endoskeleton spine snap into place, eviscerating Morgan’s back. Staff carried Morgan into the building’s “safe room” (see List of Fazbear Entertainment controversies and allegations for more info) where additional springlocks in the leg, arm, and facial regions suffered critical failure as well, resulting in Morgan’s death.
Both Afton Robotics and Fazbear Entertainment received heavy backlash and controversy for this event. Fredbear’s Family Diner’s popularity dwindled (though it still remained open until August 1983), and Afton Robotics stock suffered dramatically as buyers and entertainment venues began to lose faith in the safety of Afton Robotics brand machines. Afton Robotics began plans to manufacture a Springlock Mascot Suit Endo-02 model shortly after this, and it was successfully released in July 1983, though Fazbear Entertainment is the only known company to purchase these models.
Criminal investigation
On June 26th, 1983, two children were observed at the Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza in Hurricane, Utah to have walked into the building’s Parts and Service room near the end of the day, and did not return; one of these children was unable to be identified, but the other was successfully identified as Fritz Lawrence, a seven year old boy. Fazbear Entertainment officials collaborated with Hurricane law enforcement (leading detective Grant Ross) and found that three more children had been reported missing: Susanne Reynolds, Jeremy Davidson, and Gabriel West. Fritz’s father Jack Lawrence testified that he had noticed one of the mascots, Fredbear, standing inside the Parts and Service room, making strange gestures towards some of the children.
William Afton was arrested in his home the following morning and charged with four counts of first-degree murder; det. Grant Ross noted Afton as one of the only staff at the time not attending a performance being given in the main showroom at the time, as well as his familiarity with the Endo-01 models, which had been decommissioned in preparation for their recall and replacement with the Endo-02 models.
A lengthy court process ensued, lasting roughly a month until July 28th when Afton was acquitted of all charges by jurisdiction, citing lack of evidence - prosecution failed to provide evidence of Afton’s involvement in the disappearance of the 5 missing children, as well as any DNA evidence. Afton Robotics representative Markus Flechman issued a public statement on August 1st:
“These harrowing allegations have shocked the Afton Robotics family to its core. Our fundamental existence as a corporate entity is to enrich the lives of children all around the world - never could we have imagined that William could be accused of such a thing, and we’re glad to finally see the end of this awful process. Our hearts go out to the families of the victims of this terrible crime. We hope you find justice someday.” -Markus Flechman, August 1st, Afton Robotics Public Statement.
Over the course of the next decade, Afton Robotics made several hefty donations (some as high as $500,000; see Afton Robotics page for more info) to various children’s centers, homeless shelters, and mental wellness centers in Utah and its surrounding counties and states.
Circus Baby announcement and cancellation
Soon after his son Cassidy’s death (see Fredbear’s Family Diner page for more info) and the subsequent closing of Fredbear’s Family Diner in August 1983, Afton held another presentation in Salt Lake City to discuss the future of Afton Robotics and its relationship with Fazbear Entertainment.
“[...] While the nature of our relationship may change over the course of the next decade, Afton Robotics will continue to fulfill its manufacturing partnership with Fazbear Entertainment. However, we have some new plans in store, as we’ll be showing you today. [...] I’ve come a long way since ‘79 when I first came here to America. I’ve gained much... I’ve lost even more. Today I am here to show you the future of children’s entertainment - what my son would’ve wanted.” -William Afton, August 31st, 1983, Future of Entertainment Presentation.
This presentation was yet another turning point for Afton Robotics. Members of the press were amazed by the newest creation of Afton's at the time - the Mascot Superior Endo-Z, or as Afton coined it, the Funtime Friend. Unlike Afton's Mascot Endo-X presentation which was remarkably secretive as to the nature of the presented characters, Afton gave names and backstory on the two models that were showcased on August 31st:
CB-423-01-P: Came with several tools installed into the endoskeleton for use in performance. Capable of inflating balloons manually through built-in helium tanks, housed an ice-cream receptacle in its stomach, which could be dispensed through the front; simulated voice capable of playing back thousands of pre-determined words as chosen by the operator during initial setup. Resembled a large female clown; officially named “Circus Baby”.
BA-424-01-P: Highly advanced balance actuators built into the legs, torso and arms. Model was capable of synchronized, determined movement, performing a spin and bow on-stage. Included music box synthesizer allowing the operator to import pre-determined songs. Model was compared heavily to FF-01 and FP-01 models of the Endo-X. Resembled an adult ballerina; officially named “Ballora”.
This presentation made way for the announcement of Afton Robotics' intended landmark location, Circus Baby’s Pizza World. During the presentation, particularly answering one newscaster’s question as to if Circus Baby’s Pizza World was intended to be a competitor to Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza and other children's entertainment venue and restaurants, Afton stressed that the Circus Baby venue was intended to be something else entirely:
"Yes, go ahead. [...] No, actually. Circus Baby's Pizza World is far different from Fazbear Entertainment's venues. For one - and this may be a disappointment for some of you - only one Circus Baby location is planned, here in Salt Lake City. I would advise you and your children not to think of Circus Baby's Pizza World as a restaurant chain - think of it more as… almost like a theme park, in a way. Plenty of activities are planned, far beyond something a normal restaurant could provide - dance lessons from our friend Ballora here, play performances, games like hide and seek with some future models we can't show just yet. Costs for consumers will be higher, but I can assure you, this venture of Afton Robotics is more than just a 'pizza place'." -William Afton, August 31st, 1983, Future of Entertainment Presentation.
Circus Baby’s Pizza World was advertised soon after this presentation with a grand opening release date of September 11th, 1984. Starting in March 1984, two additional characters were advertised alongside Circus Baby and Ballora; “Funtime Freddy” and “Funtime Foxy”, similar models to the Freddy Fazbear and Foxy the Pirate characters. Fazbear Entertainment made no statement as to the similarity between the two Funtime characters and their own.
However, Circus Baby’s Pizza World was shut down days before its expected grand opening. On September 8th 1984, Afton Robotics held a limited “test run”, inviting 10 select families from Salt Lake City and surrounding counties to attend the venue and partake in activities with the four animatronic characters - this event lasted approximately three hours before the building was evacuated by Afton Robotics employees. Witnesses surrounding the property reported that large vans stopped at the location, and various staff packed nearly everything in the building overnight. Afton Robotics later held a meeting with press, where William Afton explained that the grand opening had been cancelled due to reported gas leaks in the building, as well as “results from the test run showed [us] that [we] have a lot to improve before we can introduce Circus Baby and her friends to the world.” On September 10th, Afton's daughter Elizabeth was reported dead by drowning in an apparent freak accident in their family pool; it is unknown if this event contributed to Afton's unwillingness to open Circus Baby's Pizza World.
The cancelling of Circus Baby’s Pizza World remained a controversial topic in select communities for years. Financial records released after Afton Robotics' bankruptcy in 2005 revealed that in 1985 plans for a buyout by Fazbear Entertainment were formulated, but fell through before any substantial progress was made. Numerous conspiracy theories resulted from Circus Baby's Pizza World's closure, including the theory that Fazbear Entertainment blackmailed Afton to force its closure; Markus Flechman commented on theories such as this in a November issue of Afton Robotics newsletter Screws, Bolts, and Hairpins:
"I don't blame them for trying to rationalize it. We're distraught by this development as well. I can't tell you how excited my children were to meet Circus Baby and her friends. That being said, take my word for it: there is no secret reason for the cancellation. No one forced our hand, least of all Fazbear Entertainment. The cancellation of Circus Baby's Pizza World was an unfortunate result of gas leaks and subpar quality of the location and attractions." -Markus Flechman, November 2nd, 1984, Screws, Bolts, and Hairpins Issue #78.
Before and after the cancellation of Circus Baby’s Pizza World, Afton Robotics remained on pleasant terms with Fazbear Entertainment, producing several animatronic models and characters for various locations, including spinoff locations such as the short-lived “Bonnie’s Arcade Bash” based in Destin, Florida, or “Chica’s Party World” based in Branson, Missouri. Fazbear Entertainment’s dwindling stock numbers at the time (partially due to backlash from their handling of Hurricane’s 1983 “missing children incident”) negatively affected Afton Robotics as well - in March 1985 Afton Robotics began development of devices aside from animatronics, including intercom systems, CCTV systems, and home computers.
Endo-X2 recall and fallout with Fazbear Entertainment
William Afton became reclusive after the cancellation of Circus Baby’s Pizza World. He was notably absent from most Afton Robotics press releases, shareholder meetings, and news interviews from 1985-1988, opting instead for representatives to attend public meetings in his place. Little information on Afton’s personal life from 1985-1996 is available - eldest son Michael Afton testified during the investigation of Afton’s disappearance that his father spent most of his time “holed up” inside the New Harmony Afton Robotics facility.
In response to decreasing profits and consumer interest, Fazbear Entertainment announced a “new and improved” Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza based in Hurricane, Utah in September 1986. Coinciding with this was another patent filed by Afton Robotics: the Mascot Endo-X2, a modified version of the Mascot Endo-X model that sported the ability to connect to wireless networks; this was done via a prototype version of Afton Robotics’ AltoNET, a short-lived wireless network product family that would later be edged out by standard Wi-Fi products. These models would later be revealed to be the bases for the “new generation” of Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza’s animatronic characters - A total of five Mascot Endo-X2 models were used in Hurricane’s 1987 Freddy Fazbear’s, being the four core Fazbear characters and a new character named “Balloon Boy”. Endo-X2s were also shortly used in other locations, including Chica’s Party World.
Fazbear Entertainment’s marketing campaign for this location placed substantial focus on Afton Robotics’ involvement with the new animatronic characters, as well as the apparent safety of the new animatronic models. Fazbear Entertainment claimed that the Endo-X2 models used in this location utilized AltoNET and facial recognition software to recognize criminals, namely murderers, abusers, and sex offenders - however, the Endo-X2 models used in Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza were decommissioned before these claims could be verified. On October 24th, 1987, Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza opened in Hurricane, Utah with these new animatronic models, and Afton Robotics gave its regards in an issue of Screws, Bolts, and Hairpins:
“We give our wholehearted congratulations to our friends at Fazbear Entertainment for what looks to be an amazing chapter in the story of childhood fun. Any fans of our unreleased Funtime animatronics will be delighted to see what Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza has in store for the residents of Hurricane - our new Toy line of Fazbear animatronics will surely make any engineering aficionado gasp and cry for more.” -Excerpt from “Mascot Endo-X spotlight”, October 25th, 1987, Screws, Bolts, and Hairpins Issue
Afton Robotics fell under heavy backlash once again after Fazbear Entertainment staff member Jeremy Fitzgerald was gravely injured by a malfunctioning Endo-X2 model animatronic on November 14th 1987 during the venue's final private birthday party. (The location was planned to be shut down later that day; see 1987 Night Guard murders page for more info.) The animatronic in question, FF-02, officially named “Funtime Foxy” (not to be confused with Circus Baby’s Pizza World model FF-426-01-P, also named “Funtime Foxy”) had reportedly lunged at Fitzgerald, pushing him down and biting into his forehead. The following lawsuit (see Fitzgerald Family v. Fazbear Entertainment page for more info) cost Fazbear Entertainment roughly $2,000,000 in settlement charges, and Afton Robotics was forced to recall the Mascot Endo-X2 from all locations.
This financial blow - combined with the recent murder of five teenagers inside Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza earlier that week - crippled Fazbear Entertainment’s reputation within Hurricane and the wider children’s entertainment industry, a setback they would not fully recover from until the late 2010s. Former Fazbear Entertainment insiders interviewed in the 2012 documentary The Death of Innocence testified that this is when tensions began to flare between Fazbear Entertainment and Afton Robotics:
“It was- it was ugly, to say the least. Jonathan - God rest his soul - was heartbroken. Said he’d really liked Jeremy, called him a good friend [...] Upper management was fuming. N-no, not at us... at the manufacturers. I was there for some of the meetings. Franklin Scott practically had smoke coming out his ears. He’d practically scream at the AR representatives, tell them he wants to see their boss, and every time they’d give him the same answer: ‘We’re sorry, but William Afton is not available at the moment.’” -Anonymous former FE staff, 2012 documentary The Death of Innocence. *Note: Jonathan Sordic was a member of management at Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza at the time; employed with Fazbear Entertainment until reported missing in 1993.
By December 1987, Fazbear Entertainment publicly announced that it would be cutting ties with Afton Robotics and manufacture its own animatronics, citing dissatisfaction with the safety protocols of the Afton Robotics brand.
Circus Baby's Entertainment and Rental
After the announcement of a "repurposed" Freddy Fazbear's Pizza location in late January 1988, again in Hurricane, Utah, Afton revealed a "surprise" presentation on February 8th 1988, inviting members of the media and select families in Utah on a tour of their main headquarters in New Harmony, Utah. Afton Robotics heavily advertised this presentation in Screws, Bolts, and Hairpins, claiming that "this presentation [would] be everything a fan of robotics could possibly want, and more".
This tour was held on February 15th 1988 and televised across multiple news stations, both in Utah and across America - Afton Robotics Exclusive Tour and Announcement remained the highest watched news story in Utah in 1988, according to local Utah television networks. This tour served as the announcement for Circus Baby's Entertainment and Rental, a self-proclaimed "rental service and party center" featuring the previously unreleased Funtime Friend animatronics. Circus Baby's Entertainment and Rental was primarily hosted and managed in a newly-excavated basement level under the factory. Afton explained the services of the newly announced venue at the midway point of the tour:
"Behind me you can see the main stage of the Funtime Auditorium. I wanted to show you all this room in particular, because I feel it perfectly encapsulates what Circus Baby's Entertainment and Rental is all about. Rather than force costly ventures on our consumers, we have decided: why not bring Circus Baby and her friends to you? These state-of-the-art Funtime models, revamped and improved for the age of tomorrow, can be rented out for whatever events you choose. Birthday parties, weddings, graduation ceremonies... we can even host your events right here in the Funtime Auditorium, or next door’s Ballora Gallery. We weren’t quite ready to introduce these animatronics nearly four years ago - but right now they’re ready to sing, dance, teach, and act for your children. Are there any questions? Yes, you. [...] Yes, you’ve heard me correctly. Circus Baby’s Entertainment and Rental is open right now, or to be more precise, starting midnight tonight. Be ready to get out those checkbooks, friends - you’ll need them." -William Afton, February 15th 1988, Afton Robotics Exclusive Tour and Announcement.
Afton Robotics profits rose exponentially after this presentation and throughout 1988. After Circus Baby's Entertainment and Rental's official opening on February 16th, the Mascot Superior Endo-Z models hosted by the venue were purportedly rented out over 3000 times between 1988-1991 (accounting for individual rentals).
Circus Baby’s Entertainment and Rental briefly became the subject of an OSHA investigation after Afton Robotics employee Brendon Wu purportedly suffocated inside one of the ventilation chambers inside the facility - the investigation began late November 1999, but ultimately went nowhere as the venue permanently shut down before the investigation could be finalized.
Circus Baby's Entertainment and Rental would remain open until October 2nd 1999, when executive director Bradley Cox reported that nearly every Mascot Superior Endo-Z model on the premises had disappeared overnight, along with junior technicians Jim Bristol and Alex Barnes. Multiple suspects were questioned, including William Afton's eldest son Michael, who had recently been hired as a junior technician and finished his first work week the night before Cox reported the technicians and machinery missing. Investigations reached a dead end and no one was charged. Bristol and Barnes were declared dead later that month on the 29th, and no trace of the Endo-Z models were found until more than two decades later - after the suspected arson attack on Freddy Fazbear's Deluxe Pizzeria on March 7th 2024 (see Freddy Fazbear’s Deluxe Pizzeria fire page for more info) various animatronic parts were found in the aftermath that matched Afton Robotics blueprints for CB-423-01-P ("Circus Baby"). Fazbear Entertainment gave no statement on this development.
Disappearance
On August 3rd 1996, William Afton was declared missing by Afton Robotics representative Devon Leighton, who had arrived at Afton's home - Leighton testified that Afton had not shown up at the Afton Robotics headquarters in New Harmony for a week. Investigators initially surmised that Afton could have fled the state for an unknown reason, but this hypothesis was never verified. Multiple individuals were contacted and interviewed to ascertain a lead as to Afton’s whereabouts, including Franklin Scott, Henry Emily, and Michael Afton. Michael Afton was initially considered as a prime suspect for William’s disappearance, but interviews with Michael and other individuals close to William Afton yielded no leads or results.
On September 15th 1999, Afton was declared dead and the investigation into his disappearance was closed. Afton Robotics suffered heavily after Afton disappeared; In January 1997 Benjamin Ashford replaced Afton as CEO of Afton Robotics. After Circus Baby’s Entertainment and Rental’s closure in October 1999, Afton Robotics stock and profit took a substantial hit. By the early 2000s, Afton Robotics’ grip over the animatronic industry was far lessened as companies like Smiles and Servos began to thrive. By 2005, Afton Robotics filed for bankruptcy; its facilities in Fort Worth, TX, Winona, MN, and New Harmony, UT were all rendered condemned until Fazbear Entertainment acquired all Afton Robotics assets in 2021.
Legacy
Afton’s legacy remained apparent in the robotics field and wider children’s entertainment industry for years. In New Harmony, UT, a memorial for Afton was built in 2002 - a plaque adorned with the following quote:
“There is nothing more beautiful than the laugh of a child.” -William Afton Memorial Plaque, New Harmony, Utah, observed in 2003.
Afton’s inventions and models built under Afton Robotics, while obsolete as of 2006, featured design philosophies and architectures still adopted today by robotics companies and manufacturers. After Fazbear Entertainment’s absorption of all Afton Robotics assets in 2021 and their subsequent rise in popularity in 2025, their website (fazbearentertainment.org) was updated to include a section dedicated to William Afton’s contributions to the children’s entertainment industry and “how his designs have influenced the upcoming Freddy Fazbear Virtual Experience.”
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2020.08.17 22:10 Katum36 [REVIEW] LV Graceful MM in Monogram and LV Epi Leather Twist Wallet in Rose Ballerina from TS Apple

Hello RL! I just received my very first rep purchase that I wanted to review. My first QC post didn’t get approved, so I’m going to try and be more vigilant with formatting in hopes this one makes it through! Please know that I am a total rep newbie who doesn’t own an auth LV, so please go easy on my untrained eye review lol.
Disclosures: None
Seller: TS Apple
Payment: Paypal FF
Factory: unknown (didn’t ask)
Price: 1680 yuan total (850 yuan bag + 550 yuan wallet + 280 yuan shipping)
Shipping: DHL (she actually asked me if I would prefer DHL or Fedex. I told her FedEx but she still shipped DHL anyway. I was a little concerned about that, but it got to me relatively quickly, so it’s fine)
Order Timeline:

LV Graceful MM in Monogram

[Mine]/ [PSP]/ [Factory]/ [Auth]
**Quality (9.25/10)
**Accuracy (9.5/10)*\*
**Satisfaction (10/10)*\*

LV Epi Leather Twist Wallet in Rose Ballerina

[Mine]/ [PSP]/ [Factory]/ [Auth]
**Quality (10/10)*\*
**Accuracy (10/10)*\*
**Satisfaction (10/10)*\*
**Seller Communication (10/10)*\*
Overall, Apple was GREAT to work with. She’s VERY quick to respond, and calls me friend which makes me feel all warm and fuzzy lol. At first I wasn’t thrilled that she asked me to choose my shipping carrier, and then used DHL when I picked FedEx….but I figured maybe it’s like Chick-fil-a (everyone knows Chick-fil-a doesn’t get your order wrong - if they give you something different than what you ordered, they know what’s best for you and that’s just what you were meant to have). So yeah, I just assumed she knew what was best for me and that’s why she did DHL instead of FedEx lol. In the end, it worked out great, and Apple is a gem! I would absolutely work with her again!
submitted by Katum36 to RepLadies [link] [comments]


2020.08.17 17:26 advicetgr Recently dumped by my first and only girlfriend of almost two years. Was it just a fluke to begin with or do I have a chance

I'm 19. The highschool sweetheart dream was I guess too good to be true but most need to learn that they're never the exception to the rule the hard way even if it hurts. We lived together for about a year, and even after moving back with my parents I had spent several nights over there anyway. I struggle to fall asleep without feeling someone next to me now. I miss doing all the nothing that I always do but with someone by my side. I had warm arms to cry in after a particularly shitty and long day at work and, having been recently promoted and my shifts increased to about 10 hours, could really use some again. It was for the best that it ended, our relationship wasnt the healthiest at times and we were both at fault for that. Im confident in my ability to learn and grow from my mistakes. But that void that companionship filled is aching and Im scared i wont be able to fill it again.
I am a pretty unattractive guy. Here is an album of pictures of me (as a warning last one is shirtless): https://imgur.com/a/awMONsu
I'm 6'2 and 123 pounds. Everyone tells me how I am lucky to be that tall and it's all I need to be "successful" dating but it works against me more than for me (I have short friends I imagine that's where this adittude stems from). I wear my glasses/contacts distributed pretty evenly. I work out every day/every other day, not that you could tell.
I heavily doubt my sexual experience; she was my only partner and while she seemed satisfied, anyone with any sort of standards will likely laugh me back into my shell. I cant shake the nagging thought I was someone she settled on until her self esteem improved, plus we were each others' firsts so it was definitely an "anything goes" kind of deal. I am above average in length but that doesnt matter if I repulse people with my whopping 15 bmi and build of a 6 year old ballerina. I wish all these superficial factors didnt matter as much as they do, but there is no reason to settle on me if there are better options. And there will be. Do I have a chance again?
..probably was just a fluke to begin with. Thank you for listening to me bitch I needed an outlet. And thank you for any nutrition/coping with loneliness advice
submitted by advicetgr to dating_advice [link] [comments]


2020.08.17 06:31 advicetgr Recently dumped by my first and only girlfriend of almost two years. Do I have a chance or was it just a fluke to begin with?

I'm 19. The highschool sweetheart dream was I guess too good to be true but most need to learn that they're never the exception to the rule the hard way even if it hurts. We lived together for about a year, and even after moving back with my parents I had spent several nights over there anyway. I struggle to fall asleep without feeling someone next to me now. I miss doing all the nothing that I always do but with someone by my side. I had warm arms to cry in after a particularly shitty and long day at work and, having been recently promoted and my shifts increased to about 10 hours, could really use some again. It was for the best that it ended, our relationship wasnt the healthiest at times and we were both at fault for that. Im confident in my ability to learn and grow from my mistakes. But that void that companionship filled is aching and Im scared i wont be able to fill it again.
I am a pretty unattractive guy. Here is an album of pictures of me (as a warning last one is shirtless): https://imgur.com/a/awMONsu
I'm 6'2 and 123 pounds. Everyone tells me how I am lucky to be that tall and it's all I need to be "successful" dating but it works against me more than for me (I have short friends I imagine that's where this adittude stems from). I wear my glasses/contacts distributed pretty evenly. I work out every day/every other day, not that you could tell.
I heavily doubt my sexual experience; she was my only partner and while she seemed satisfied, anyone with any sort of standards will likely laugh me back into my shell. I cant shake the nagging thought I was someone she settled on until her self esteem improved, plus we were each others' firsts so it was definitely an "anything goes" kind of deal. I am above average in length but that doesnt matter if I repulse people with my whopping 15 bmi and build of a 6 year old ballerina. I wish all these superficial factors didnt matter as much as they do, but there is no reason to settle on me if there are better options. And there will be. Do I have a chance again?
..probably was just a fluke to begin with. Thank you for listening to me bitch I needed an outlet. And thank you for any nutrition/coping with loneliness advice
submitted by advicetgr to self [link] [comments]


2020.08.15 08:16 Throawayyourpole My boyfriend is unhappy that I “dance sexily” with/for other men. I don‘t think he has any right to be. What do I do?

UPDATE: https://www.reddit.com/relationship_advice/comments/iec451/update_my_boyfriend_is_unhappy_that_i_dance/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
Original post:
Throwaway account.
So, I am a professional dancer. I received my early training with a classical ballet company in Europe, and have since then branched out into the contemporary and hip hop scene. 7 years ago, I moved to LA as my dance career was changing. Currently, I dance on musicians tours, music videos, etc. For an idea of what I do - the last two things I worked on were Taylor Swift’s reputation stadium tour and JLo’s Vegas residency.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for 7 months. He works in tech, so when I first met him, he definitely thought my work world (schedules, expectations, etc) was very unusual. But he ultimately thought it was cool and that’s where we had left it. Now - for the uninitiated, a lot of the contemporary hip hop scene and the choreographers I work with love working with dance styles and techniques that would be considered “sexy.” As an example, in my off time, I take classes at LA’s millennium dance studios. Jojo gomez is one of my favorite choreographers that ive worked with (on the JLo tour actually). You can see some of her amazing work on YouTube: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=buEOo7eFlck or https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8RapSrCLwWw for example.
Recently, I was talking with my bf about what my schedule might look like next year, whether I would transition to teach at millennium for a while as we wait for the tour industry to open up again, etc. And he got visibly upset. When we talked further, he told me he was hoping I’d be “done with that shit.” He said that he “hated” how I “danced sexily” with/for other men and that his friends told him that some of my routines made me look like a stripper. He hates the “sexy outfits” and “other men grinding” up on me, etc etc. That it’s indecent to put my body on display like this.
I was in utter shock at first. I left his place and went back to mine to process for a while. I spoke to a couple of friends who are not in the industry, and they said that though they’re on my side, his reaction could be understandable since a lot of my routines are very “sexed up.” Ive been thinking about this a lot - and honestly, I’ve done hip hop, pole dancing, etc as part of routines in this job, so I kind of get it (?). But the thing is - I love dance! And I’m good at this. I’ve been wanting this kind of success in dance since I was a 5 y o ballerina, literally. And I’m happy with the work I get. It’s physically demanding, extremely precise, and involves working with some brilliant minds. I don’t see it as a matter of “being sexy” or “sexed up.” I don’t know what kind of conversation to have with my boyfriend about this though. He told me that he’s really uncomfortable with the way I dance even with some of my male friends in dance classes because “you go from twerking on their dick to joking around and I can’t help but think there’s something going on with you guys” even though it’s just my job. I don’t think he has any right to be angry with me about this because this is very different from being a stripper or sex worker, my colleagues and I don’t dance for others’ sexual gratification. It’s an art form, and an athletic endeavour in some ways. It involves a lot of work and creativity, and it’s done for elevating other art forms. I think it’s different. So, help.
submitted by Throawayyourpole to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.08.11 21:29 FrancesABadger Question on 7 years, 3 months and 11 days

Was this the exact amount of time between when Brit decided not to accept the offer from Goldman Sachs to when Sound of My Voice or Another Earth debuted at Sundance? If not, it's probably pretty close.
TL;DR The decision to drop of out school for a yeaturn down Goldman Sachs job offer and pursue film (guess of 10/13/03) to SOMV Sundance debut of 1/24/11 - 7 years, 3 months & 11 days

I bring it up based on a question in the main sub from a few days ago. and if this were true, what would that signify?
Here is my logic:
u/Night_Manager**,** u/sansonetim**,** u/kneeltothesun**,** u/leO-A
What do you think?
I think if nothing else, it means I need to take a break from The OA Puzzle, right?
submitted by FrancesABadger to TheOA_PuzzleSpace [link] [comments]


2020.08.10 07:47 Oculusfluffy Genecco Fluffies - by Oculus (xpost from fluffybooru)

Originally posted on: https://www.fluffybooru.com/post/view/56232
~GENECCO FLUFFIES~ ~otherwise known as Fiwwies~ ~by Oculus~
Overview
Hasbio were not the only company that has released fluffy pony biotoys. Following the initial but limited release of fluffies by Hasbio in 2005, the Hong Kong company Genecco began work on developing their own variant of fluffy ponies which they marketed under the brand name of “Fiwwy”, named after the mispronunciation of the term “Filly” rendered in the open-source biotoy language of Fluffspeak.
Unlike Hasbio Fluffies, which have a global reach, Fiwwies are mostly available in Europe and China, due to distribution difficulties Genecco had with securing an international distributor, in addition to further legal trouble. Where Hasbio fluffies have 5 main variations – earth, pegasus, unicorn, alicorn and sea fluffy , Fiwwies have more variations, including the elf fiwwy and the fairy fiwwy.
Another key difference between fiwwies and fluffies is the emphasis on the fantasy angle. Hasbio fluffies have been derided as basically being a genetically-engineered pet or companion animal, marketed as a biological “toy”. To emphasis on the “toy” aspect of their products, Genecco heavily pushed a complex lore and background setting, and based their products on following this predetermined milieu. Thus, and utilizing a complex system of mental conditioning and memory implants, fiwwies based of a particular character will behave and base their actions almost entirely on those of their show counterparts. While Hasbio had attempted a similar conditioning with their later MLP biotoys, they never went to the lengths Genecco did in attempting to market a series of games and “adventures” that children could use to play with their products.
This emphasis on fantasy was also reflected in the nomenclature of the different filly types. Within the Fiwwy world, alicorns are called star fiwwies, pegasi are called angel fiwwies, sea fiwwies are called mermaid fiwwies, and so on. Also, instead of "earth pony", all 'normal' fillies are called princess fillies, or in this case, princess fiwwies. In addition to definite biological types, the heavy emphasis on magic meant that dressing up a fiwwy in a cape and witch hat could leady the fiwwy to believe that it was a witch fiwwy, which is basically a princess fiwwy that’s capable of performing magic, but wasn’t the same as a unicorn or fairy. This lack of a sense of reality can be attributed to Genecco fluffies possessing a unique “fiwwyvision”, where they will perceive and treat the world as if it’s a variant of the one from that show. While fluffyvision had been theorized and attempted, the idea was abandoned by Hasbio when fluffies were unable to recognize their owners or lacked an understanding of their own personal hygiene due to the induced fluffyvision.
While an interesting concept, the release of the Fiwwy brand, as well as work on the heavily promoted Fiwwy Fantasia, had been marred by various hurdles. The most glaring was Genecco’s involvement in various legal disputes, both with Hasbio and Simbio, its earlier distributor of biotoys, Due to this development issues, the long-planned tabletop game Fiwwy Fantasia, which was supposed to be marketed with Fiwwy biotoys, was heavily delayed. One of the problems this led to was children being unsure with how to distract their fiwwies. Fiwwies, being hardwired to perceive the world as one of adventure and questing, often wandered on their own, or pleaded for more exciting play, resulting in them encountering various accidents or misadventures, much to the chagrin of owners. Genecco attempted to mitigate this by releasing minor adventure packs, as well as small events and promotions, to provide some lore and minor settings for Fiwwies to participate in, but it will not be until the end of the decade when Genecco finally had a proper “adventure” & “quest” that could be sold to children.
A small word should be mentioned about interaction between Hasbio Fluffies and Genecco Fiwwies. Domestic fluffies usually accept fiwwies as just another type of fluffy (which they are) and while they will not understand the concepts or adventures that the fiwwies talk about, a fun-loving fluffy would just see it as an excuse for more play. The world is not always as ‘rosy’, as many fluffy enthusiasts, as well as abusers, have derided Genecco fiwwies as being a poor imitation of Hasbio’s fluffy ponies. A popular term used to describe fiwwies amongst both fluffy enthusiast and abuser circles is “fakies”. This slur and violence has been found amongst feral fluffy populations as well, as the unusual design and emphasis on adventure has ostracised many fiwwies, particularly abandoned ones, from feral fluffies.
It should be noted that feral fiwwies have been low and yet to be observe properly as, even after a life of abandonment, “wild” fiwwies maintain the conditioning and belief in their fantasy setting. This has led most abandoned fiwwies to perish prematurely due to misadventure. That said, fiwwies, like fluffies, are able to reproduce, and it is unknown if the mental conditioning or fiwwyvision that abandoned fiwwies have will be passed on to their progeny, if any.
~
The Complete Fiwwy Timeline
Many of these dates are approximations, especially for the early history of the brand where evidence is scant.
1997: Genecco founded in Denmark by .
2000: Genecco headquarters move to Hong Kong. The moves was motivated by the proximity of the production facilities for toys in Asia, especially in China.
2006: Genetic Engineer T N begins developing Fiwwy for Genecco. Genecco makes a deal with German biotoy manufacturer Simbio at some point during the year.
April 2006: A Danish freelancer specializing in genetic engineering describes making a prototype Fiwwy biotoys for Genecco. Due to breaking the Non-Disclosure Agreement, the freelancer as well as the evidence is liquidated. Any memory of this event is preserved only in rumour.
6 November 2006: Earliest record of Genecco making a Fluffy Utopia that is legally documented under the archives of the International Centre for Genetic Engineer and Biotechnology (ICGEB) at UNESCO. The experiment was doomed to failure as the environmental systems and hardware of the utopia broke down, killing the Fiwwies within.
2007: Release of Fiwwy Tundra. At the time, it was often simply referred to as "Fiwwy" since it was the only Filly toyline yet released. Rather than the more fantasy-like setting of later Fiwwy biotoy breeds, the Fiwwy Tundra Fiwwies were based on various real-life horse breeds. Fiwwy Tundra is now considered a failed product and was taken off the market.
23 May 2007: The earliest successful enclosure of Simba's Fiwwy enclosure that is documented and in public display. A key attraction of the enclosure was a dramatic re-enactment of the taming of the first horse in Mongolia, and its role in its mythos. The fiwwies made for this enclosure have mostly perished due to age, with the remaining ones now living under close eye and supervision at Genecco.
30 May 2007: Hasbio sues Simbio for copyright infringement. Allegedly, Simbio infringed on Hasbio's Fluffy Pony designs for their biotoy lines "Little Fairy Fluffy", "My Sweet Fluffy", "Steffi Wuv Evi Unicorn" and "Steffi Love Evis Fantasy Fluffy". Notably, Fiwwy is not mentioned in this lawsuit. On 20 July 2007, Hasbio wins the lawsuit and Simbio is ordered to pay a fine.
2008: Release of “Fiwwy Beach Party!!”. Two unicorns and a pegasus marks the first shift from realistic horses and towards the fantasy setting. This line of biotoys is now discontinued and incompatible with later breeds.
December 2008: Release of Fiwwy Pwincess. This line of biotoys was the first one to reach widespread popularity and the Fiwwy brand itself would often be referred to as "Fiwwy Pwincess" for years to come. The Fiwwys now have crowns, and there are elements of magic, but the story itself still takes place on Earth rather than in the setting of Fiwwy Fantasia, which had not yet been conceptualized. This breed features the initial iteration of the Elric character and was the main product for breeders to purchase until the release of Fiwwy Royale, which essentially was a replacement for Fiwwy Pwincess.
January 2009: First issue of Fiwwy Enthusiasts Magazine released. The Magazine came in two editions – one that was marketed to girls and concerned with the proper care and management of their Fiwwy biotoys, with additional suggestions for stories and lore surrounding the setting of Fiwwy Pwincess, which biotoys could participate in roleplay sessions with the target demographic. The other edition was marketed to breeders, with tips recommending the best way to breed fiwwy mares and stallions, as well as the proper regulations needed to ensure that the biotoys complied with the Psychological Protocol established by Fiwwy, where all biotoys had to believe they were part of a fantasy setting and not the product of the breeder mill. Breeders were encouraged to groom Fiwwy foals after weaning upon separation from their mothers, and to perform the standard memory implantation programmed to ensure that Fiwwies start enacting the characters roles they had been raised for.
December 2009: Release of Fiwwy Fairies. The Fiwwy Fairies represent the first time where a type of Fiwwy has notable distinguishable attributes (their sparkly green wings). This toyline is where Smith is from and represents the last of the "old" breed of biotoys before the Fiwwy World and setting was fully conceptualized. It also represented a greater emphasis on the role of magic and fantasy which Genecco emphasized in the development of the products, as well as its intended play.
2010: Hasbio releases the second generation of Fluffy Ponies to coincide with the release of Hasbro’s My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
2010: First Fiwwy Sammelband released. The Filly Sammelbands are a collection of biographies for Fiwwys that are far more detailed than the biographies on the character cards and have constituted a useful resource for everyone else trying to make sense of Filly lore. The first edition is a hardcover book covering Fiwwy Forest, Fiwwy Beach Party!!, Fiwwy Princess and Filly Fairy. Further editions of Filly Sammelband would be released annually in magazine format from 2012-2017 and would feature every major Filly biotoy line up until Royale as well as a few unique characters that have not been released yet.
30 March 2010: Hasbio sues Simbio another time, again for infringing on the design of their Fluffy Pony. This time, it's because of the biotoy lines of "Little Fairy & Fluffy", "Unicorn Fwends" and "Dream House". This lawsuit takes considerably longer than the last one, and does not get resolved until 2013.
February 2011: Release of Fiwwy Unicorn. This line of biotoys finally established all the classic elements of Fiwwy and can be considered the “true” start of the modern Filly canon, setting and line of biotoys. The story takes place in the World of Fiwwy Fantasia, the characters are divided into five groups representing five different elements (with color-coded crown crystals to match) with a special Fiwwy (Princess Spark, the principal of Fiwwy Fantasia) ruling over the land. This is also the toyline where Luck is from.
February 2012: Release of Fiwwy Elves. This biotoy line features Sweetie, the fourth character in the main cast, winged crowns, and an additional attribute in the form of bracelets (for male characters) or necklaces. (for female characters). The main defining feature of Fiwwy elves is a distinct, thinner and pointed ears (akin to the ones of human elves). Where normal fiwwys have more rounded ears, elf fiwwies are marked by thus clear difference in the ears
Summer 2012: Development of Fiwwy Fantasia begins. writes the initial pitch bible, with gene editing and memory implant work outsourced to Blood Dragon.
June 2012: Release of Fiwwy Mermaids. The first standalone biotoy line which can be considered a "spinoff" line as it does not follow the usual release pattern, and was most likely a move to match Hasbio’s release of the Sea Fluffies. It is unknown if Fiwwy Mermaids will appear in the main Fiwwy Fantasia game.
Late 2012: Intense phase of genetic engineering. Many of the genetic blueprints which have been posted on the dark web over the years were most likely created during this time period.
Late 2012: Cleveland January 2013: Fiwwy.com is relaunched into its most recognized form - the flash site that allowed you to create and accessorize your own Fiwwy, with the added option for a natural “born” fiwwy, or a fiwwy made direct from the laboratory at Genecco. Codes for this website were included in toy packages for years to come
22 January 2013: Hasbio finally wins against Simbio in the second copyright infringement lawsuit. Simba is yet again ordered to pay a substantial fine.
February 2013: Release of Fiwwy Witchy. The final member of the Fiwwy Five came from this biotoy line where the theme of magic reaches its peak with families corresponding to various natural elements and color-coded capes enabling them to fly. (Evie's green cape means she's a Air Witch.)
8 April 2013: Biotech France 2013. The yearly Biotech events in France were associated with new Fiwwy Fantasia information for several years as Genecco sought to advertise their biotoys in this venue. Genecco apparently showed a Fiwwy Fantasia trailer at this particular event, but there is no information preserved about what exactly was shown, or which biotoys were on display.
15 October 2013: "Fiwwies at Pway 1" uploaded to YouTube. A long clip or two fiwwies, speaking in Italian fluffspeak, and being engaged in their roles. This immediately led to various threads about it in fluffy communities, and post on Fluffy Daily the next day. This essentially marked the start of the Fiwwy Fantasia fandom.
24 October 2013: First recorded death threat has been sent to Fiwwy Fantasia staff. The threat came from a fluffy enthusiast who claimed that Genecco was ripping off Hasbio. The enthusiast claimed he would kill and mutilate any Genecco fiwwy he came across. It is unknown if he carried out on this threat.
1 January 2014: Genecco signs a deal with Universal BioTrends for the sale and distribution of Fiwwy biotoys. When the collaboration with Simbio ends very shortly after this, they become the sole source of Filly toys.
Early January 2014: Simbio breaks their licensing agreement with Genecco, pulling out the rug from under the carefully laid plans for Fiwwy Fantasia. This can be considered "the start of the problems", so to say.
10 January 2014: A notice appears on Simbio's Fiwwy website that Simbio is no longer a licensee of Fiwwy and that the website will be closed down on the 20th of January.
January 2014: Fiwwy enthusiasts amongst the fluffy fandom decide to start their own website, message board and booru to track the growing interest in Fiwwies. Fiwwybooru remains active to this day.
February 2014: Release of Fiwwy Butterfwy. The first biotoy not to feature the Simbio logo anywhere on its packaging as well as on the underbelly of the fiwwy. The only "main series" bio toy which most likely will appear in future Fiwwy Fantasia campaigns but has not yet done so. 15 February 2014: Release date of Fiwwy Fantasia RPG Campaign for Biotoys delayed from "early 2014" to "Q4 2014".
28 February 2014: Genecco Netherlands initiates legal action against Simbio in Hong Kong. Genecco alleges that instead of culling their remaining stock of Fiwwy biotoys, Simbio sold it off without paying license fees and files suit against Simbio to recoup them. The first lawsuit seemingly ends in failure on 28 March 2014, but is appealed.
March 2014: Creation of the first two Fiwwy mobile apps, "Fiwwy Cupcake Shop" and "Fiwwy Photo Fun". They would be followed by Filly Witchy Adventure later during the year and eventually a bunch of weird slide puzzle apps in late 2016. It has been speculated that these apps were created to help satiate the growing listlessness and wanderlust of domestic fiwwies, who were raised to participate in a non-existent tabletop role-playing game.
30 March 2014: Release date of Fiwwy Fantasia delayed again, this time to "2015".
11 April 2014: Biotech France 2014. "Dancie Fiwwehs" is uploaded, a long clip showing off the various fiwwy types performing certain roles in a setting, followed by fiwwies dancing naturally to music in a mannegr similar to dancie babbehs amongst fluffy ponies.
1 October 2014: The deal between Universal BioTrends and Genecco comes to an end, but seemingly in a far more amicable way than the breaks with Simbio. Biotoy distribution is now handled by Genecco Deutschland GmbH.
Late 2014: Release of Fiwwy Wedding Pairs. Another spinoff toyline, where pairs of characters from Filly Princess, Fairy, Unicorn, Elves, and Butterfly were sold. Notably, none of them were paired a Filly of another type. The line came with instructions, props and music with which children could re-enact weddings of the pair they had purchased.
19 January 2015: Fiwwy Fantasia is delayed yet again. The new release date is "2016".
February 2015: First recorded conflict between a feral fluffy pony and a fiwwy. Rumours of violence between fiwwies and fluffies had existed, but limited interaction between American fluffies and European fiwwies made observation difficult. Upon discover, it is noted that the fluffies start referring to the fiwwies as “fakies” and “nu-reaw fwuffs.” Whether this was the result of Hasbio intervention to make fluffies repel against a competitor product, or if fluffies themselves disliked an equine that resembled them, but was not like them, has yet to be discerned
February 2015: Release of Fiwwy Stars. This was the final biotoy line designed and written by . Fiwwy Stars are the alicorns of the Fiwwy world, but unlike Hasbio fluffies, fiwwies do not possess the nature hatred against theirs alicorns, seeing Fiwwy stars as another race, like elves, fairies and sea fiwwies. This biotoy line features Fiwwy Fantasia character Mack (which means that the toyline was planned well in advance as Mack appearsed in Fiwwy Fantasia concept art that was probably made in 2012) and in many ways seems like the culmination of the world building as the subsequent biotoy lines do not add that much to the overall lore of the series. The first Fiwwy Magazine comic featuring the Stars starts off with the Butterflys meeting the Stars and the toyline itself has an ongoing story arch focusing on the relationship between the relationship between a Fiwwy from the dark Moonlight side of Skylia (Mack) and one from the light Starlight side (Childs).
13 April 2015: Biotech France 2015. The only news is the slightly updated Fiwwy Fantasia website. No new campaigns or events announced
June 2015: A somewhat more functional version of the website appears on genecconews.com. It is never updated or developed further beyond this point.
22 June 2015: Enthusiasts from Fiwwy, Fiwwybooru and Fiwwychan hosts an AMA with . At this point, she had already quit working at Genecco earlier during the year. When pressed with further details on the product, she claimed a loss of memory after
15 July 2015: Blood Dragon uploads a trailer to Chinese video sharing site QQ of various shows they are working on, which features some previously unseen Fiwwy Fantasia video material for RPG campaigns.
6 October 2015: "Lore 5" is finally released in all its glory on youtube. This promo is a clip show of fiwwies playing in various campaigns with children mastering the events. The fiwwies display significant improvements in their gene editing using more varied fluffspeak and better understanding their roles.
Late 2015: More genetic engineers leave the project at some point late in the year.
10 December 2015: A short Christmas video is released. This would be the last Fiwwy Fantasia video material for over two years.
February 2016: Release of Fiwwy Royale. This biotoy line is essentially an updated version of the Fiwwy Princess biotoy line from 2008, with the setting and characters being updated to better fit the post-Unicorn Fiwwy World as well as changes made in Fiwwy Fantasia. Elric now has an updated bio reflecting his penchant for swords as seen in Fantasia, and the characters are now divided into color-coded families like the other newer biotoy lines. This is the last biotoy line to get a biotoy site. Every main series biotoy line up until this one had a biotoy site under the now defunt genecco.myfiwwy.com domain that allowed you to read the bios and a short story about the toyline.
5 October 2016: The second part of the legal saga between Simbio and Genecco concludes in Genecco’s favour. This is appealed again.
15 October 2016: France Biotech 2016. For the first time in a few years, there is absolute silence on Fiwwy Fantasia. What's worse, during October and November, Blood Dragon starts methodically erasing every mention of Fiwwy Fantasia from all their various social media accounts while refusing to answer any questions about why they are doing it. The relationship between BD and Genecco had apparently broken down completely at some point during the summer of 2016, but the details of why and when are still fairly hazy as of writing.
February 2017: fiwwy.com shuts down and starts redirecting to the Fiwwy Stars toy site.
9 March 2017: Investigation goes into a series of disturbing videos and images depicting a particular form of fluffy pony abuse known as fiwwy abuse, using Genecco fluffies. Although the perpetrators were eventually uncovered and arrested, following amendments to biotoy law, fluffy and fiwwy abuse continues to this day.
25 May 2017: The third chapter of the Simbio vs Genecco legal saga concludes and Genecco again seems successful. This is apparently appealed yet again.
4 July 2017: Genecco once again secures a lasting deal with an external toy manufacturer by signing a deal with Goliath BioToys. They begin producing Fiwwy Royale biotoys and have continued producing toys for all subsequent toylines.
August 2017: Release of Fiwwy Ballerinas. The release of this somewhat strange toyline for an August release suggests a desperation on Genecco's part to put out content and market their bio toys while Fiwwy Fantasia remains delayed. This line of biotoys recycles characters from previous toylines, including Luck, but places an emphasis on grooming the biotoys to be trained as ballerines, with existing implants for fiwwies to udnergo a form of ballerina training.
10 October 2017: Genecco attends Brand Licensing Europe 2017, with Fiwwy listed in the "Tabletop RPG" category. This is the first sign that Fiwwy Fantasia isn't abandoned
5 January 2018: Fiwwy Witchy Adventure disappears from Google Play. Genecco would delete their other apps over the year and finally close their account completely, giving less options for children to roleplay with their Fiwwies.
16 January 2018: Another release date is mentioned. In an interview on the Danish finance newspaper Finans, the Genecco talk about their company's problems and reveal that Fiwwy Fantasia would release in 2019.
7 February 2018: The fourth (!) part of the legal saga between Simbio and Genecco finishes. This time, Simbio appears to be the successful party. This seems to have been appealed yet another time, since according to an article from May 2018, the legal case was still ongoing at that time. This means that the final outcome of the legal battle which began in February 2014 is still to be determined as of writing.
23 March 2018: BioWaWa Studios uploads a Fiwwy Fantasia teaser to their Vimeo account. The first Fiwwy Fantasia video material in several years. It's unclear when exactly BioWawa resumed the genetic engineering work on the fiwwies, but circumstantial evidence suggest they have not made much changed to the genetic blueprints.
June 2018: Release of Fiwwy Angels. This biotoy line represents the first toyline since Stars three years earlier which acts as a classic mainline Fiwwy biotoy line - not a spinoff and no recycled characters from previous lines. Angels with feathery, pegasus-like wings have been available a few times previously, including the special character Rachel who first appeared in 2012, which led to some speculation that Mack might be part of a future toyline dedicated to Angels before we found out that he was actually a Star, but in 2018 there was an entire biotoy line about them. As this toyline was released so far after the start of Fiwwy Fantasia development, the Angels most likely won't appear in initial campaign, but this biotoy line should still probably be regarded as canon.
Early 2019: All of Genecco's websites go offline for unknown reasons at some point during early 2019.
3 March 2019: With no warning, trailers for the imminent release of Fiwwy Fantasia suddenly appear.
11 March 2019: First official edition of Fiwwy Fantasia is released, with commemorative rulebook, dice, costumes, materials and supplements that children can use to host “proper” adventures and quests with their Fiwwies. At the same time, an episode of Filly Funtasia airs on non-Hasbio affiliated Fluffy-friendly channels.
Further Reading
https://www.funtasiadaily.com/2019/04/the-complete-filly-timeline.html https://desuarchive.org/trash/thread/29397516/ https://filly.fandom.com/wiki/My\_Little\_Pony
submitted by Oculusfluffy to fluffycommunity [link] [comments]


2020.08.07 16:11 Muchlymango Help

Hi. I’m ready to die, truly. My life has been far too traumatizing for the past 5 years and I’m ready to be done. I know the series of events below won’t sound traumatizing, but I can’t to express my pain. People tell me they’ve been where I am, but the fact that they lived through it makes me skeptical, because I’m so ready to just stop living. Here’s what’s going on:
I found the love of my life. We dated 4.5 years and I loved him with my whole heart. Then he transitioned to female, and I tried to make it work, but I just couldn’t. I tried so hard. I tried to be a lesbian. He even tried staying male. Didn’t work. Eventually he became I think at least emotionally abusive. I still haven’t achieved clarity on that. Maybe it was my fault. Maybe no ones. When he transitioned, it felt like watching my spouse die or something. Like the man I was going to spend the rest of my life with was just gone. I know he still existed, but that person was totally different in almost every way, not just physically. And then when we broke up because I found him abusive, we tried to be friends. He continued abuse (I think?) and eventually never spoke to me again. In fact he called the police on me 4 times and always told them I was threatening self harm. Even when I was simply trying to talk to him. He wanted to offer no support anymore. Eventually the police came to my house and told me to stop contacting him. I grieved for a very long time.
Then my pen pal of 6 years, whom I loved (romantically? Platonically?) told me we should part ways and emailed me back only once in the next 2 years of my emails to him. At least I felt somewhat resolved with him I guess, but I can’t stop emailing him. I can’t let him go.
Then I lost one of my closest friends due to relationship problems. I lost my job because I made a small error. And I had been in conflict with an entire university department for 2 years. I had auditioned for their program 6 times. They told me to my face they’d let me in. They continued taking my money and rejecting me. A prestigious school of the same kind accepted me, and they encouraged me to audition for the professional Training program. I did. They then told me oh you’re too old actually. I was one month older than most of the people they accepted. I started late in my discipline and worked hard, but the people in the industry made it harder.
I transferred universities to escape everything and get a fresh start. Things started out well, but ultimately, I was a minority here, and people treated me.. not well. But the worst part is that because I wasn’t obviously a minority, people befriended me, found out who I was, and then ghosted me. Nonstop. Because I wasn’t one of them. Even interactions with the kindest people were strenuous for me. I finally made a close friend, but even she made me feel burdensome, or else I just felt that way. But it seemed to prevail in the culture at this university. I made another close friend, we fought a lot, we finally resolved everything and we’re good friends. But he’s since got a girlfriend and not talked to me in months. Then I lost this close friend of 3 years. She told me she never wanted to be my friend again. Before that, I lost my other closest friend. I felt she was comparing herself to me nonstop and minimizing my problems so she could be some sort of heroin of a story no one could share with her. Anyway, lost all my friends at this university. Only have acquaintances left. It’s been hard being here. Luckily I plan to go home, but my parents can be slightly intimidating so I’m still scared.
Then my only remaining and best friend in the entire state didn’t invite me to her online wedding. Online. Over zoom. She told me weeks later she got married. I planned to congratulate her anyway, but it’s become such a low priority to me since I’m so unimportant to her it seems. I’ll get around to it I guess.
I also have become chronically sick. I have endo, pcos, fibromyalgia. And frankly, this doesn’t begin to cover my illnesses. The issue is, I can’t find a diagnosis. I’ve been fighting Doctors for years. They’re blatantly incompetent, most of them. They tell me things I know to be false. They tell me they’ll do an mri or send me to a specialist and then don’t. They say things like “we need to check for cancer ASAP” and then seriously forget. I have so little will to live, I haven’t bothered asking about the potential cancer in my brain/neck. I’m sick of doctors. I hate them. I’ve only seen one doctor who helped me. One. After years and years. I have trouble breathing, I have no immunity whatsoever, I catch things for years at a time. I’m in immense pain, I pass out, throw up, my hair falls out, I have rashes all over my body at times, I’m so tired I can’t leave my bed even if I need to for work or school. Then I got rashes on my face. And ever since I’ve been scarred all over my face. They’re fading but I don’t think they’ll ever completely disappear, and I even have a black mark on my cheek from an incision made to drain infection in my face. I feel like I have arthritis because I’m in so much pain. My neck is actually bent the wrong direction and no one knows if it’s from physical trauma or disease. But they don’t have the time of day to figure it out. I have to force them to.
I got hit by a car walking across the street. The guy who did it made sure I was alive and drove away. I was naive and dint call police. When I racked up medical bills I asked for his insurance and he told me I was scamming him. I didn’t want to make my parents deal with a lawsuit. Furthermore, despite xrays of my neck after being hit, NO one thought to tell me of my neck being you know, backwards. Why. Why the hell.
I went to a speciality school for something In the summer during a storm season. I was out with about 10 or 15 people pumping a well. I hadn’t even touched the well yet. Everyone but me had. Nevertheless, my hair stood straight up. I was thrown into a car ASAP because I was about to be struck by lightening.
I continued dating and making friends, and every last one Of them whom I was close to left. The men always ditched me without a word because I was a minority at this university. They didn’t want to end up with me. It’s a religion thing. I’ve also had mostly bad roommates. This is the first year I haven’t. After 6 years it’s the first year I’ve had nine roommates.
I began a relationship with someone of this religion, knowing it might be a recipe for disaster. They have to marry someone of their religion. I brought this up to him. He insisted it didn’t matter to him. I brought up his desire For kids. He didn’t want to think about it until he knew me Better he said. Eventually I found out he wanted kids ASAP. And while we’ve managed to stay friends, he’s not an amazing friend. He’s quite flaky. He often makes me feel like I’m making things up. I’m just grateful he tells me this honestly instead of pretending to believe me and then talk about me behind my back. Because outwardly I seem healthy. Because when I’m not, I’m in bed, alone.
I’ve tried therapist after therapist. I haven’t found one who helps very much. I’m sure inner DBT or something. But none of them will take my insurance. I called some places with therapist who at least know some DBT and they never returned my calls. I’ve told both my therapist and psychologist that I’m sure I have bpd and they haven’t done much in the way of helping me sort that out, though they do prescribe medicine and counsel me I guess. It’s not really dbt though. Idk I guess my therapist tries. But it’s not helping enough. I need to like, go live in a hospital or something. I need serious serious help.
Then my grandma died, two of my beloved cats died, the rest of my grandparents died. My dad became sick. He’s doing better now. The only thing I have left is my parents. That’s it. I don’t have friends, I don’t have my health, my former beauty, nothing. No sense of identity.
Then I decided to dye my hair brown because I’d always admire brown hair. Looked bad on me. I tried so many colors in too short a time frame. I tried really hard to leave it be. I tried so hard. But I made the mistake of trying to return to my blonde. I thought I’d found a full proof, mistake proof way. I failed. My hair is now purple, yellow, orange, and brown. I’ve never felt so panicked. My best feature used to be my hair by far. It was light golden blonde and long. Now it’s short, damaged, dry, multicolored (in a very bad way) and probably unsalvageable because it’s too damaged to touch. I think I need to go to a salon, but I’m so worried they’ll tell me to cut it all off. I just want my long blonde hair back. It’s like the only grasp I had left of my identity, and I thought I could get it back. Fourth more, I’m too embarrassed to go to work, but I only have 8 days left to finish mounds of my work. Also I can’t afford a salon visit unless I use my parents credit card. I think they’d let me use it for my birthday, but they’ll make me feel like shit for using my gift Th ah way. They told me to leave my hair alone. I know I should’ve. Idk what the fuck I was thinking. I guess I didn’t think this hair product had any bleach, I did a strand test, and I just wanted a piece of myself back. I’ve also gained weight from illness or depression or lack of sleep idk. And again, covered in involuntary facial scars. Oh and the hair stuff got on my face so now I have a streak going across my cheek too. And my face burns like it’s been dipped in acid, idk why. I didn’t do anything to it. I guess it might be my tears mixing with the medication I’m using for the infections.
On my birthday recently, I’m part of an organization And we communicate through an app, and 2 of about 27 people wished me a happy birthday. On everyone else’s birthday, routinely, everyone in the company wishes them a happy birthday. Even the least like girl in the organization received about 6x the number of happy birthdays that I did. I think I’ve repelled people by being open and up front about my experience at the university and about lambasting doctors and the healthcare industry. Because my problems aren’t that relatable to them, and because they were literally raised in a culture of positivity, like seriously all of them, even thought the liberal ones are reluctant to admit they fall into a cultural pattern of sorts, they think I’m ungrateful or just negative or what have you.
Then my laptop just broke, which is why I’m texting a lousy grammatically disastrous unfiltered mess here on my phone. For some completely unknown reason, my lips taste like formaldehyde or something. It’s putrid (idk what putrid actually means). It’s in my mouth too. Am I poisoned or something? Like did I eat my hair dye? I thought I knew not to do that. Maybe death has decided to take me finally lol.
Also, in my craft which I spoke of earlier, which I started way too late (it’s one of those things you start at age 2 or you’re fricked and I stated at 19). Anyway, I finally made it into the top organization, the highest level at my university. I thrived The first year. I got lead parts and everything. Next year they began treating me like shot. They did backhanded things without communicating with me. They did everything in their power to exclude me, make it publicly known, and not talk to me despite my efforts to communicate. They withheld info from me that I needed. They completely turned on me and I don’t know why. Because I was sick I assume. Not that I’d ever been unreliable. Maybe the fear that I would become unreliable caused them to treat me as though I had been, and they were punishing me for it. At first, people in similar situations empathized with me. A few of them felt somewhat slighted in a similar way. But as they used social politics to work their way back into favor, they became actually bitter about my criticism of the organization, when They too had just been enduring mistreatment and supporting my criticism! But as soon as they were back in favor (entirely due to politics and connections), they 100% forgot where I wans coming from. In fact, I knew people who swore never to join This organization because they’d been mistreated just applying for it, and once they made it in and became a favored member, they began acting like I was judtbfull of myself for expecting better, more equitable and communicitave leadership. AnywAy, we wer supposed to travel abroad and do our thing there, and it was going to be my first time in Europe And New York and Disneyland. Obviously it was cancelled. But worse than that, my training in the field ceased abruptly and prematurely. And I graduated. So I worked for years doing everything feasible to catch up with people who’d been doing since age 2 because i was so passionate about it. I was going to go for a pressionao career. Then my training disappeared and I became too sick to train by myself. I also can’t Seek out training Due to covid. I’ve pretty much decided to give up on this dream. It doesn’t pay well enough for my Health issued anyway I suppose.
Honestly I could keep shoving my way through this nightmare if I didn’t think I was going to have literally shave all my hair off. I just can’t. Like this is the final straw for me. That’s basically it. Like I’ve had it. The hair thing has tipped me over the edge. And I’m leaving the stage pretty soon, so I can just wait out my hair. Besides it’s probably too damaged to ever fix Literally ever. Like I’ll have to chop it off unless salons are wizards with celestial powers.
This is like the TIP of the iceberg of my emotional well of deep pain. I’m going home soon to try to heal and make some money under my parents care (I have $20 currently and That is all.), but I’m freaking mortified about my hair. I don’t want my parents or anyone to see. I was supposed to go to work today but I’m definitely not going to. And it’s too hot to wear a hat (100 degrees usually).
Also, at one point during university, believe it or not, I was the target of an actual crime. Like, someone went into the laundry room, opened the dryer, and stole every last one of my ballet leotards (might as well just get specific who cares if people identify me at this point 98% of them hate me anyway). I didn’t think anyone was particular hateful of me, and I still don’t know who would do this. All I can think of is the one friend whom I felt compared herself to me and the friendship ended. Idk if she stole them because she too was once a dancer before becoming ill? Or because she’d given me old clothes? All I known is that it was hundreds of dollars worth of ballet clothes. Highly specific, tailored, expensive, personal. Like They actually sorted through my laundry just to steal my most expensive, beloved belongings. Maybe my roommate was psychotic and did it? She did end up being crazy from my perspective. Or the ballerina a cross the hall— was she jealous I was in the top company!? I don’t understand. Why not steal just one. Why actually steal every last one. Was a creep off the street!?? I felt personally attacked. I was genuinely scared. who would do that. I didn’t know anyone felt that strongly about me at all. Had someone asked, I would’ve given them one of my leotards or bought them one, assuming they’re needed one. I can’t imagine someone Needed every last one Of my absolute favorite leotards. Also, they stole my company uniform.. it’s not like they can wear anywhere near my company (at school) without being caught.
Also I got in a few more car accidents. 100% of them were not my fault. They made me get quotes and estimates for them. I got so tired Of it. I started telling them ok but then you’re coming with me because I got tired of telling them it actually costs thousands to repair a car and then not believing me and making me go back and me telling them ok I’ll just take your insurance and call them for you and I was just so frustrated.
Even my best friend of all time at home seems to have better friends now. I guess I all I have is my pants and my sister. Actually I’m immensely grateful my sister has become so much nicer since she found out how bad my mental health is. My only blessing, it seems.
Mostly I’m mad that I don’t even look like myself anymore. I look 50X uglier. I just want to at least look like me if I’m going to tackle theses horrors using this body. I’ve tried scar makeup, only makes the scars more noticeable.
Also, I haven’t slept a couple of days. I have pretty very severe insomnia.
Also I have an eating disorder. I eat like a pancake a day sometimes. I know it’s bad. I try. But then things like my fucking hair happens and that becomes 101028373729 times more urgent to me than ANYTHING. Always.
And of course I’m ultra sensitive. My one remaining friend ex boyfriend things I’m autistic. Idk maybe so. Maybe this hiffh sensitivity from autism is what’s causing these traumatic feelings.
I’ve attempted suicide like 4-5 times, sometimes half heartedly and other times more seriously. I’ve missed all of my doctor appointments this week and I will continue to do so as I’m too mortified by my hair and my apparently now also burned face (idk why tf my face feels like it’s burning. It started before the hair dye actually.).
submitted by Muchlymango to BPD [link] [comments]


2020.08.06 21:20 thegreatestoneofall I wish all of these 1000 universes would combine into one

The one thousand universes are:
Real Life, Super Mario, The Legend of Zelda, Pokemon, Sonic the Hedgehog, Crash Bandicoot, Halo, Call of Duty, Earthbound, Five Nights at Freddy’s, DC, Marvel, Ghostbusters, Pac-Man, Mega Man, Bomberman, The Lego Movie, Scooby-Doo, Super Meat Boy, Memes, Wreck-it Ralph, Skylanders, The A-Team, Knight Rider, The Goonies, Mortal Kombat, Street Fighter, Blend S, Vocaloid, UTAU, Spyro the Dragon, The Simpsons, Futurama, Harry Potter, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, The Lord of the Rings, Mission, Impossible, Gremlins, Gnomeo and Juliet, Powerpuff Girls, Powerpuff Girls Z, Beetlejuice, My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic, My Little Pony Equestria Girls, Black Rock Shooter, Lego Dimensions, Portal, Plants Vs Zombies, Machinarium, Rock 'em Sock 'em Robots, Baldi’s Basics, Puzzle Puppers, Crane Game Toreba, Snipperclips, Puyo Puyo, Kirby, Lego City Undercover, Ninjago, Legends of Chima, Nexo Knights, Diary of a Wimpy Kid, Poptropica, Resident Evil, Peanuts, Robot Chicken, Scribblenauts, Splatoon, ARMS, Bee Movie, Shrek, Octopath Traveler, Bubsy, Drawn To Life, Drawn Together, Toy Story, A Bug’s Life, Finding Nemo, Wall-E, The Good Dinosaur, Inside Out, Captain Underpants, Timmy Failure, Spongebob Squarepants, The Loud House, The Fairly OddParents, Invader Zim, Cow & Chicken, Samurai Jack, Adventure Time, Regular Show, Steven Universe, Clarence, Uncle Grandpa, Plague Inc., Sailor Moon, Ghost Trick, Ace Attorney, Professor Layton, Looney Tunes, Yu Gi Oh, Beyblade, Yo-Kai Watch, Cars, Team Fortress, Half Life, The Sims, Cory In The House, Annoying Orange, My Hero Academia, Mr. Peabody and Sherman, E.T. The Extra Terrestrial, Back to the Future, Rick & Morty, Family Guy, Doki Doki Literature Club, Angry Birds, Fruit Ninja, Jetpack Joyride, Out There, Akinator, Dragon Ball, Super Smash Bros, Star Wars, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Lonely Wolf Treat, Syrup and the Ultimate Sweet, First Kiss as a Spooky Soiree, Contract Demon, Romance Detective, Tunnel Vision, KAIMA, Her Tears Were My Light, Mermaid Splash Passion Festival, The Twilight Zone, Disaster Log C, Yandere Simulator, Yanderella, Mikoto Nikki, Mix Ore, The Dark Side of Red Riding Hood, Makoto Mobius, You Me And Empty Words, Shihori Escape, Tsukimi Planet, Full Boko Youchien, Love Live, Menherafflesia, Roco Kingdom, Seer, Mole’s World, Hawaiian Slammers, Planes, Frozen, Tangled, One Piece, Fairy Tail, Naruto, Shin Megami Tensei, Persona, Digimon, No Matter How I Look At It It’s You Guy’s Fault I’m Not Popular!, I Can’t Believe My Little Sister is This Cute, THE [email protected], High School DxD, Hihi Puffy Ami Yumi Show, Momoe Link, Minecraft, Locked Heart, Confess my Love, Transparent Black, Nintendo Badge Arcade, Swapnote, World of Goo, Rayman, Little Inferno, Amazing Alex, Banjo - Kazooie, Yooka-Laylee, Sly Cooper, RWBY, Despicable Me, Nomad of Nowhere, Bravest Warriors, Xenoblade Chronicles, Punch Out!!, Contra, Silent Hill, Tokimeki Memorial, Spelunker, Spelunky, Zork, Bit Trip, VVVVVV, Runman Race Around the World, N, Princess Tomato in the Salad Kingdom, Hitman, Tomb Raider, Metal Gear, Fire Emblem, Animal Crossing, Metroid, Gradius, Zone of the Enders, I Wanna Be The Guy, Jumper, Braid, Alien Hominid, Castle Crashers, Charlie Murder, The Emoji Movie, Castlevania, Animator vs Animation, Brave, Hello Neighbor, The Storey Treehouse, Wacky Game Jokez 4 Kidz, The Nightmare Before Christmas, Bayonetta, Mii, Wario, Donkey Kong, Yoshi, Unikitty!, Sword Art Online, Squid Girl, Slenderman, The Flintsones, The Berenstain Bears, The Jetsons, Okami, Sushi Striker Way of the Sushido, Shovel Knight, Kid Icarus, Jurassic Park, Tom Gates, Art Academy, Fortnite, PLAYERUNKNOWN’S BATTLEGROUNDS, Fallout, The Land Before Time, Doctor Who, The Lego Batman Movie, Himegoto, Marchen Madchen, Bojack Horseman, Total Drama, Toradora, One Punch Man, Attack on Titan, Pleasant Goat and Big Big Wolf, Fullmetal Alchemist, The Wizard of Oz, Super Smosh, Alfred and Poe, Dev Guy, Valentine Panic, Seduce Me The Otome, Trick and Treat, Haruka Winter Dreams, Scratch, 9, The Problem Solverz, Animal Inspector, Liar Liar, Love or Die, MisSHAPEn Love, Pervert&Yandere, Paper Roses, BookSLEEPer, Heartbaked, Lads in Distress, Teletubbies, Thomas & Friends, The Walking Dead, The Big Bang Theory, 13 Reasons Why, F.R.I.E.N.D.S, Gumby, Gravity Falls, Welcome to the Wayne, Tom and Jerry, Baka to Test, Golden Time, Searching, Taken, Charming, Ballerina, Home Improvement, The Sandlot, Flappy Bird, Swing Copters, Turbo, Pocket Protectors, BoxBoy!, The Barefoot Bandits, Letter Quest, Overcooked, Hydlide, Oh Sir!, Taco Man Plays a Video Game, Game Gramps, Pepsiman, Gamestop, VOEZ, DEEMO, Cytus, Kitten Squad, Super Mario Logan, Dr. Stone, Bee and Puppycat, Over the Garden Wall, Star vs The Forces of Evil, Power Rangers, Danny Phantom, The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron Boy Genius, Planet Sheen, Dexter’s Laboratory, Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends, Chowder, The Amazing World of Gumball, We Bare Bears, Felix the Cat, Bendy and the Ink Machine, Outbreak Company, Tokyo Mew Mew, Puella Magi Madoka Magica, Card Captor Sakura, Ghostmates, Smosh, Bunsen is a Beast, Coco, Monsters Inc., The Incredibles, Spirited Away, Becky Prim, Kim Possible, Meet the Robinsons, The Little Mermaid, Zootopia, Taiko no Tatsujin, Alien, The Lego Ninjago Movie, Gundam, The Muppets, Alf, Neon Genesis Evangelion, The X-Files, Godzilla, Final Destination, Ice Age, Lilo and Stitch, RoboCop, The Terminator, Saw, The Purge, 50 Shades of Grey, Tron, Dead Space, Overwatch, Fatal Fury, Ratchet and Clank, Jak and Daxter, Tekken, A Boy and his Blob, Ace Combat, Master Higgins, Adventures of Lolo, Aero the Acro-bat, Ape Escape, Asteroids, Battletoads, Spooky’s House of Jumpscares, The Call of Cthulhu, Chibi-Robo, Frankenstein, Dracula, Boku no Pico, Burger Time, Citrus, Putt-Putt, Pajama Sam, Prison Tycoon, RollerCoaster Tycoon, Restaurant Empire, Frogger, Freddi Fish, Fatty Bear, Spy Fox, Gal Gun, Game & Watch, Guitar Hero, Rock Band, The Man With The Invisible Trousers, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Passpartout, Just Dance, Sega Hard Girls, Kinectimals, Left 4 Dead, Life is Strange, LittleBigPlanet, LovePlus, Nights, Naughty Bear, Ted, Houdini (2014 Movie), Q*bert, Pixels, Touhou Project, Toejam and Earl, The Oregon Trail, The Organ Trail, Yakuza, Mall Tycoon, Zoo Tycoon, Yukon Trail, Detention, The Nutshack, LazyTown, Purgatory, Desolate Village, The Desolate Hope, The Pilgrim’s Progress, Captain Bible, Bad Milk, Journey to the West, Death Squared, Watch_Dogs, Sleeping Dogs, Paletta, Wrecking Crew, Sara is Missing, Simulacra, Welcome to the Game, Rides with Strangers, A Normal Lost Phone, Mogeko Castle, Wadanohara and the Great Blue Sea, Little Nightmares, Little Einsteins, Sally Face, Fran Bow, Kick the Buddy, Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde, Phineas and Ferb, Big Nate, Nate is Late, The Ring, Inanimate Insanity, Winx Club, Tinkerbell, Sausage Party, The Lord of the Rings, Duck Hunt, Starfox, F-Zero, Enchanted, Roblox, Hearthstone, Talking Tom, Crossy Road, Granny, The Titanic, Dexter, How I Met Your Mother, El Tigre, Mucha Lucha, The Book of Life, Cuphead, Waterworld, GradeAUnderA, Foodfight!, Cyanide and Happiness, JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure, The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy, The Brave Little Toaster, PlayStation, Scott Pilgrim vs The World, Club Penguin, Sonic.exe, Pivot Stick Animator, Mr. Bean, Skitzo, Captain N The Game Master, Waluigi Travels Through The Multiverse, Parappa the Rapper, God of War, Uncharted, Bioshock, Paperboy, Gauntlet, 720°, Marble Madness, Spy vs Spy, Xbox, A Kingdom for Keflings, Cloudberry Kingdom, Girls Like Robots, Can Your Pet, Snail, Snail Bob, The King’s Avatar, King’s Knight, King’s Quest, Monster Bark, Haunt the House, Detective Grimoire, Sort the Court, Wallace and Gromit, Frankenweenie, Atelier, Recetterar An Item Shop’s Tale, Tales Of, Lost Sphear, PETA, Cooking Mama, Gish, Aquaria, Owlboy, Alex Kidd, Space Channel 5, Mighty no. 9, Blaster Master, Vroom in the Night Sky, Azure Striker Gunvolt, Senran Kagura, Disgaea, The Legend of Dark Witch, Pico’s School, Riddle School, Clock Crew, Lock Legion, Steamshovel Harry, Bionicles, Hero Factory, Alien Conquest, XCOM, Chantelise, Yobi’s Basic Spelling Tricks, The House of the Dead, The Typing of the Dead, Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue, Where’s Wally?, Where’s Waldo?, Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego, Adam Ruins Everything, South Park, The Human Centipede, CollegeHumor, Kingdom Hearts, King Kong, Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm Street, Edward Scissorhands, Devil May Cry, Final Fantasy, Food Wars! Shokugeki no Soma, DanTDM, Anthony Padilla, The Hunchback of Notre Dame, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Who Framed Roger Rabbit?, Angry Video Game Nerd, James Bond, Epic, Dance Dance Revolution, Edd Edd n’ Eddy, Hey Arnold, Codename Kids Next Door, Back to Backspace, Big City Greens, Danger Planet, Twelve Forever, Infinity Train, Jack & Jill (Adam Sandler), Red Dog, Air Bud, 101 Dalmations, Element Animations, The Suite Life of Zack & Cody, That’s So Raven, Milo Murphy’s Law, Even Stevens, The Adventures of Pete & Pete, Malcolm in the Middle, Hotel Transylvania, DuckTales, Elena of Avalor, Sofia the First, The Proud Family, The Emperor’s New Groove, American Dragon Jake Long, Fanboy & Chum Chum, Fish Hooks, Smart House, Invisible Dad, Tender Loving Care, My Magic Dog, Boy Meets World, Sabrina the Teenage Witch, Shorty Mc Shorts’ Shorts, Shezow, Call of Duty Dog, Sonic for Hire, Video Game Violence Saves the World from Violent Video Games, Doge, Nyan Cat, Wolfychu, Lilypichu, Emirichu, TheOdd1sOut, Domics, Jaiden Animations, Game Theory, Dorkly, Pokemon Rusty, The Greatest Showman, Doodle Jump, Happy Jump, Seen, Color Switch, Agar.io, Slither.io, Cookie Clicker, Donut County, Bitcoin Billionaire, Paper.io, Highschool Romance, Highschool Possession, Nekopara, Ren'Py, Voltron Legendary Defender, Wander Over Yonder, Kablam!, Doug, Avatar The Last Airbender, The Legend of Korra, Garfield, Calvin & Hobbes, Lego DC, Lego Friends, FL Studio, R.O.B., The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Ice Climber, Captain Commando, Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog, Papers Please, Blocksworld, Ironpants, Happy Wheels, The Truman Show, EdTV, Duck Life, The Average Everyday Adventures of Samantha Browne, Cinderella Phenomenon, Our Home (visual novel), A Day in the Life of a Slice of Bread, a(t)rium, Date (almost) Anything Simulator, [email protected], Stalker & Yandere, Tealy & Orangey, Geometry Dash, Duck Season, Ginosaji - The Horribly Slow Murderer with the Extremely Inefficient Weapon, McDonald’s, Karate Kid, Llamas with Hats, The Misfortune of Being Ned, Super Hexagon, Perfect Dark, Devil World, Balloon Fight, h3h3Productions, Gnoggin, Yo Gabba Gabba, Crazy Frog, Angels of Death, Imaginary Friends (RPG), Cherry Tree High Comedy Club, Pony Island, HuniePop, Tattletail, Corpse Party, Friendship (RPG), Aria’s Story, 1bitheart, Leftway, Tim’s Birthday, Ib, GLITCHED, Amnesia, The Stanley Parable, Long Live the Queen, Draw a Stickman, QWOP, GIRP, Papa’s Games, Whale Trail, 5 Minutes to Kill Yourself, Doodle God, Free Icecream, The Fancy Pants Adventures, Fireboy & Watergirl, 60 Seconds, 60 Parsecs, Getting Over It, Sexy Hiking, I Am Bread, Surgeon Simulator, RapeLay, Mister Mosquito, Cubivore, Custer’s Revenge, Pizza Chef (Atari 2600), Postal, Hatred, Leisure Suit Larry, Jones in the Fast Lane, Manhunt, Hatoful Boyfriend, Bully, Night Trap, Mass Effect, House Party, Who’s Your Daddy, Second Life, Shower With Your Dad Simulator 2015, What’s Under Your Blanket!?, Battle Raper, The Maiden Rape Assault - Violent Semen Inferno, Hetalia, Ouran High School Host Club, Rinse and Repeat, DeviantArt, Mystic Messenger, Moemon, Segagaga, Football Manager, CrossFire, Flicky, Captain Novolin, Sega Bass Fishing, Hiragana Pixel Party, Captain Rainbow, The Wonderful 101, The Elder Scrolls, Caller’s Bane, Cobalt, Candy Crush, Sharknado, Who Killed Captain Alex, Archie Comics, Smokey Bear, McGruff the Crime Dog, Neighbours from Hell, Neighbors from Hell, Danganronpa, VeggieTales, Oshi High School Battle, Teleporting Fat Guy (Animated Series), Smosh Babies, Planets (Shut Up! Cartoons), The Day My Bum Went Psycho, The Day My Butt Went Psycho, What’s With Andy?, The Andy Griffith Show, Leave it to Beaver, Pikmin, Face Raiders, Part Timers, Trollface Quest, Coraline, Aladdin, Chibi Miku San, This Man Sono Kao o Mita Mono ni wa Shi o, Vsauce, Kirarin Revolution, Stellar Theatre, Hanazuki Full of Treasures, Penn Zero Part Time Hero, The Croods, Shawn the Sheep, Shakugan no Shana, Early Man, Walking with Dinosaurs, League of Angels, League of Legends, World of Warcraft, Starcraft, Stardew Valley, Rune Factory, Story of Seasons, Harvest Moon, Botanicula, Fingered, Lucky Star, Akame ge Kill, Kill la Kill, Cowboy Bebop, Recovery of an MMO Junkie, KonoSuba, God’s Blessing on this Wonderful World!, Natsuiro Haisukuru★Seishun Hakusho ~Tenkou Shonichi no Ore ga Osananajimi to Saikai shitara Houdoubuin ni Sarete ite Gekisha Shounen no Hibi wa Sukuupu Dairenpatsu de Igai to Motemote nanoni Nazeka Mai Memori wa Pantsu Shashin Bakkari toiu Genjitsu to Mukiainagara Kangaeru Hitonatsu no Shima no Gakuen Seikatsu to Sekirarana Koi no Yukue.~, Short Circuit, Boyhood, Honey, I Shrunk the Kids, In Another World with My Smartphone, Wizard101, Sociolotron, Lego Island, RuneScape, Façade, Bad Rats, Iron Soul, Crisis City, Space Dude, Lula, Money Town, The Magic School Bus, Soda Drinker Pro, I Was A Sword When I Reincarnated, My Reincarnation as a Hot Spring in a Different World is Beyond Belief ~ It's Not Like Being Inside You Feels Good or Anything!?, Island, Crush Crush, Yandere I Love You So I Want to Kill You, Kimi to Kanojo to Kanojo no Koi, Kimi to mita sora no uta, City Connection, Cinders, AdVenture Capitalist, Tiny Tower, Pocket Planes, Pocket Trains, Pocket Frogs, I Am [Shape], Melancholic, Stargazer (song), Love Trial, Pou, One Chance, Dear Diary The Secrets of Anna, Episode, Kim Kardashian Hollywood, Sabreman, Kameo Elements of Power, It’s Mr. Pants, Whatever Happened to... 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Found this on Thedouchebaggenie
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2020.08.06 19:22 deathtothemods girls i stalked when i took after my ex

ocd is a real killer.
especially if you don't know you have it.
i don't know if i always had it, i am still learning:
are people born with the disease or do they develop it over a traumatic existence?
was i born with this or did i grow it, like an extra tail?

because, i'm fairly certain i wasn't always this sick.

.
i was in a relationship with a reptilic cheating asshole for a decade. all of my twenties.
i had no idea he was cheating, but i suspected, and i often confronted him, and he always told me i was being paranoid.
so i muted my own paranoia, my own intuition, and everything that was gnawing at me, for like, 8 years:
do you have any idea what a feat this is for someone with ocd?
i was a mother fucking rock, a true badass, and a strong mind, no doubt about that.
but the longer you stay with a person, the more you see the cracks, the harder it is to ignore your own soul when she tells you to listen to her, the more your trust in the dude dissolves. couldn't hold a strong faith anymore.

i became highly obsessive- not so much over him, but over finding a way to tell myself for sure, that he was in fact either faithful to me, or unfaithful to me: i finally needed proof, for once.
- i visited his insta and fb pages close to 30 times a day, just to see if any side bitch would reveal herself;
- visited all the pages of all the girls he followed, multiple times a day, just to see if they would put up photos of him, or if they were still interacting, and shit;
but nothing. he was clean. everyone seemed clean. i was able to drop it. my ocd fell asleep i guess, or something, because my faith in him was restored, again.

this was a loop i found myself in like, every other year. it's like the sores on my soul would flare up, and the soothy-gel ointment was getting to "be in the know," as in, "having control via awareness," as in, "refresh page. refresh page, refresh page. no bitches. okay good. refresh page, though, real quick just in case. okay good. aaaaand one more. just in case she commented in this last second. okay good. i'm good. . .. . . . aaaaaaand refresh page. ok cool. i'm okay. we're goodrefresh,though."


see, this is the compulsive behavior i was exhibiting; i was aware it was "cRazY," but i didn't understand that this is actual ocd. it was either this, or confronting my guy, again, and i often just avoided that because, like i said, he made me feel like i was acting insane/ jealous, and over time i believed him: i believed i had a problem, but not that it was ocd, and not that i was being lied to among other horrible things, but specifically, that i had "serious jealousy issues;" all i had was a powerful fucking intuition that would not shut the hell up, and manifested itself in my relentless quest for a clue.
it really ripped through me to feel that, because it didn't feel like jealousy. i know jealousy: i am an insecure girl, and i spend much of my time wishing i was other humans and having what they had-- i for sure know what jealousy is, and as with all my insecurities, i have zero reservations about admitting them to myself. this was not fucking jealousy. this was mistrust, but i didn't register that on a conscious level.
so, there was no way to defend myself for asking him about specific girls who i had a feeling about, when he reacted by saying i was just jealous. when i'd say, "no, no: this chick looks like mr. potato head, don't insult me right now, i'm saying something else," i was now a "petty jealous" bitch.

i didn't know WHAT i was, i didn't know WHAT my behavior was stemming from, so over time i accepted that i was in fact just jealous and super in denial, or something, and shamed myself with him into total submission by like year five.

.
we moved in together in 2017, and my ocd resurfaced, i feel, and went berserk.
ALL i could feel in that apartment was his resentment toward me. i never felt that before, because we never lived together before, and we never really spent many days consecutively together before.
for a year with him in that hellhole, i went to sleep at night, i woke up in the morning, no matter what my routine, i could SMELL it: all of his FEAR, his GUILT, his HATRED.
i was no longer holding onto my sane worldview:
"trust him, give him his privacy" for all of 8 years turned swiftly into, "i'm going to crucify this mother fucker and all of his bitches," because all of a sudden, i was no longer doubting my intuition. i let go, and i went craaaazy. and, i'm so fucking grateful i did. best decision of my life:
i went through his accounts-- not visited, HACKED: insta, fb, gmail, reddit, computer history, text messages, aand more!
i uncovered not only a bottomless pit of cheating evidence, but also a bunch of his own obsessions with his own exes, as well as random ass bitches nobody's ever heard of, who look like shit.

when i confronted him about it, he STILL lied, and then promptly moved out, abandoned me there with my new truth;
his parents called me "sick" and "falsely accusatory," when they fully knew about the decade of cheating.
lol, his dad's a doctor, btw, let that sink in for a second.
also, i carry his aloof mother's herpes, now. because she insisted on kissing her children on the mouth during her outbreaks. LIKE tell a girl with ocd to fucking deal with shitTT. tell me this is fucking ---ughfucKiit. anyway.
the shame is strong in that house, and therefore, the denial, too.
eh, what can you do. rich people are not exactly known for taking responsibility, engaging in self reflection, etc.

anywho. 10 years was a lie, i had zero control or respect from the love of my life, and now, i got to be alone, because the dude was not even man enough to stay, sit, talk about it for one afternoon or something, and give me all the truth from his own mouth, which would have HELPED me.
too bad he learned from his parents the art of blocking out his own misdeeds from his own awareness.

.
imagine having actual ocd,
spending a decade suppressing your obsessive compulsions because you think you're just paranoid and crazy,
and uncovering a host of lies that existed right in front of you, that were YOUR REALITY, of which you had zero knowledge, all of a sudden, at age 30. my sense of self and the fixtures of my outer yet personal reality really shattered like the illusions they were, and i really projected that (and presently continue to) onto everyything in all of reality:
("god is dead, the government's lame, thanksgiving is about killing indians, jesus wasn't born on christmas they just moved the dates around a pagan holiday...!!" everything is fake! i am fake! you are fake! etc.)

imagine this shit if you are a normal person: it is still enough to ruin your fucking life;
but if you have a serious fucking illness, there is not really an actual recovery system in place for something like this-- and no, therapy is not real, because it's not free for people who are as poor as me. also, therapy is not real, anyway.

OH, and don't even fucking try posting on reddit "depression" and/or "relationships" to seek help and/or vent, lest all of the triggered abusers and cheaters on the planet find themselves under your post, vicariously defending themselves via defending your ex, attacking you for being literally suicidal over it-- and then ultimately, lest YOU be the one who gets "mod"ed into oblivion, exiled from the damn internet. FUCK YOU reddit, i never forgot, and i will kill all of you mother fuckers, just watch, i'm accumulating some masses myself, and we are more dangerous than you because... WELL, we don't adhere to fake rules and ignorant censorship. i'm serious, i am here to shut you down, and i will find a way to do it.


.
so this was a phase i was suicidal. i tried to drown myself in my parents' pool. clearly, i failed.
after the shock wore off i concluded, it's not me who needs to die, it's him.
i was going to feed him the poison he injected in me over a decade.
and i was going to move into the reality of each of his side bitches,
that way, everyone was going to feel me, for once, instead of me feeling them.
and i was going to understand exactly what happened during my own relationship there.
.


2018-2020: this was a big project for me: i threw myself into the oceans of all of his ex girlfriends, all of his random bitch followers: every. last. girl. was. under. my. surveillance. it was time to get all of my answers, everything over a decade.
- there was a total of 8 instagram accounts of girls i became obsessed over;
- i visited these pages every single day, multiple times a day;
- i viewed their photos, their captions, their likes, their comments, everything, just looking for,
a. my ex's face and/or name, or some indication of a history in the past decade or present, and
b. what the fuck he saw in these unbelievably dull, ugly, stuck up airheads.

i wanted to see what he saw; i wanted to see them how he did, just so i could understand something, anything, really.
i wanted to see a super hot girl. i wanted to see a super smart chick. i wanted to see VALUE, i want to KNOW that these girls were BETTER and that there was a REAL REASON he used me, abused me, cheated on me, and had zero problem demolishing my life dreams and my personal life plans for girls who were at least undeniably worth more than me. that would compute, the logic holds up.
but no. i never witnessed lower forms of basic garbage in my entire life, man.
that made me feel like i was even LOWER than all that trash.
why couldn't they have at least been cute, or like... i don't know... something. anything.

these are the "waterfalls" my manchild was chasing while i was his girl-- look at this totally gnarled monstrosity of a collection here:
- a highly unattractive married girl with eyes as dead as rocks, who gets her husband to pay for her to travel the world, just to see all the disneylands and collect more mickey mouse toys;
- a hyper christian total nutcase who looks like oscar the grouch, and also has the observable intellectual capacity of a sock puppet, and is evidently prone to making out with her many chihuahuas;
- another stereotypical rich, white girl, also married, with two babies she had to name after herself like she is some kind of a trend or something, because, like obviously, the whole reason of their existence is to simply add to their own mother's social image;
- another rich white girl- only this one is more or less obese like his own sister- who he fucked and then chucked in some hole, but then apparently spent his life still obsessing over;
- some total white trash bimbo who is actually the ex of his "good friend;" this chick has a bio that says, "depression is a decision," when she was born on a beach and had her life paid for by papa bear: so enough said there;
- some public figure who calls herself a guru as a means to exploit the public for their attention, as this clone only ever posts photos of her strikingly unremarkable face and body with some throwaway aphorism half-heartedly tacked on;
- an oiled up body builder with the face of a dinosaur-- so, think arnold schwarzenegger, but if he was a barbie and more hideous; oh but also, she is an aspiring actress;
- aaand moore!

oh, don't fucking look at me like that.
these girls are fucking trash.
yeah, i am a judgmental bitch, but i am not writing fiction, here: i don't claim to know these insipid characters in real life, but they insist on projecting a public avatar on social media, therefore i have simply looked upon what each avatar has offered. and happily made my analyses. gtf over it.
and mother fucking pardon me for not being able to show some respect to these women who may or may not have-- i still don't fucking know!-- fucked that dude back when he was "mine."
that asshole showed them enough love, kindness, and the grotesque of flattery for the both of us; this is me right here bringing the balance, think of me like buddha if it makes you feel better.
but who i am remarking upon is a collection of the culture's richest and/or most shamelessly ignorant airheads; go ahead and defend them and attack me for it;
or just realize that i have the right to judge whoever the fuck, however the fuck, especially if these dumb hoes made it a point to enter and disturb the rooms of my reality, first. and of course, i welcome, invite, and expect people to freely judge and criticize me as they see fit in accordance with their own lives, existences, or what have you. otherwise, i'd make my page private, like all these trollops could choose to do, too. so everybody better grow some thicker foreskin and let me express my genuine and justified hatreds <3

and what about me- what is my social avatar?
well i am a manic depressive loner who tries desperately to come off as real and deep and has obviously an obsession with her own depression, possibly because it makes her think she is more interesting than she is, and her only friend is her cat; not to mention she has the face of a sad squirrel, and the body of a 12 year old boy.
but this bitch right here NEVER fucking spoke to, flirted with, fucked with, and/or so much as even looked at your man; and if he ever reached out to me, you better believe i would break his damn arm and bring him back home to you, and disclose it to you, like a real fucking woman.
understand?
it's not about who or what you are- that shit is irrelevant:
you fucking slags proved to be pathetic and useless and as far as quite harmful to me,
therefore, i am super happy and content with myself
to judge the shit out of you,
because as far as i was forced to see,
your character is really shitty.

what? am i wrong?
then take it up with my ex-
he helped paint these such portraits,
then go try to take an objective gander
over at your own fucking tailor-made public image.


listen here, all of you (i know no one's reading this, it just feels good to pretend i am on a podium):
if a fucking dude comes talking to you, pursuing you, flirting with you,
and you know he is in a committed relationship,
you are a spineless fucking whore if you do not immediately
screenshot that shit and send that straight to
his main girl;
or at the very least threaten his life, on the spot.

i have done this myself multiple times over the course of my life: i have been doing it since high school. but that's because i'm not a total fucking bitch, nor am i an attention whore, nor am i a nonconfrontational and careless yokel.
i would never be able to look away, walk away, with that kind of information that belonged in the hands of some other girl.
i'm sorry, but i expect that from every damn girl, from every damn man, from every fucking human being who is able to observe- and was almost just sucked into- a vortex of abuse and needless betrayal.


.
okay, well, anyway.
i'm not a sleuth by nature; i am not a sneaky person, and i have zero skill, tact, or grace when i stalk people. i straight up just do it openly, i tend not to care... again, because it's not my fucking gig, and "i just came here for answers," and all.
i contacted many of these useless bobble heads, saying very plainly,
- "ey, this dude abused me and he cheated on me, and i found your name in his inbox- what gives?"
- "ey, this dude abused me, did he abuse you too, what answers can you give me, i'm scared."
- "ey, this pig is obsessed over you, is your hubby buns aware? now, just who are you, and can you explain why it is that... this pig feels so free with you to openly obsess over you...?"
- but also even, "ey, wtf is going on with your page- what kind of a circus act has your ego created, goddamn, bitch, ewwW i'll never unsee this, someone help!"

but no blithe bitches are the types to engage in stuff like that. so, i would continue to stalk and view their instagram stories, and then block them:
i had a half baked theory they wouldn't see my view, but i never tested it out or googled it, again, because i didn't care enough. blocking them from seeing me was more like a courtesy to them, just because i'm not trying to make (some of these) people uncomfortable, etc.
it was obvious what i was doing there anyway, i figured, they chose not to acknowledge me whatsoever, and so, i decided... i was still owed fucking answers, THOUGH.
i figured, "if they see me, they see me; if a bitch has a question, let the bitch ask it, or let the bitch judge me to pieces privately, or let the bitch take it upon herself to somehow feel threatened. or, just let the bitch stop playing dumb and start serving up some answers."
to this day, i don't even know if my theory worked, or if they saw; either way, i completed my stalk-research, and i have found, in conclusion, there is zilch on these morons' pages to justify that wandering penis, and i am pissed they have jack shit to show me.
because that means they had jack shit to show "my man," and it was still enough to get his cock dancing like a ballerina for them.

.

but now, time has passed.
i am more or less over this mess,
the dude was an abuser- big wo0p, it's common;
but i can't believe the girls he chose over me,
goddamn it, why couldn't they be better than all that.
why couldn't they put me in my place and make me say, "ohh. shit.."
why couldn't they show me or the world something real.
show "my man" something real.
they showed him sewage waste, and he went for it, he ruined my life for it.


i am fucking OBSESSED and fucking depressed over the meaninglessness and worthlessness of my man's mistresses. i am fucking disappointed in him for squandering someone like me for the world's most pointless lumps.
if i am going to get cheated on, those bitches better be fucking worthwhile: and they were not.
this is what i can't let go of, now.

so many ugly girls. so many, so many basic bobbleheads. so stupid and shallow, and blithe only in the way a true airhead could be. but, also so primitive, complete caricatures, but in all the same ways- how, even? more than one of you clowns exist like this in my general reality?-- goddamn. jesus christ.
oh, the vast emptiness. oh god, the vacuous--
it hurts like a bitch.
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2020.08.06 08:18 PossibilityFederal How do I (21F) tell my boyfriend (23M) that my mom (42F) will never accept him because of his weight?

(Using a throwaway)
My boyfriend is on the chubbier side, but I have no problems with it. I think he’s adorable and I love him the way he is. If he ever chose to try to lose weight, I would of course support him in that, but I care more about his health than his size. I’ve dated guys of all body shapes and heights and weights. It’s completely irrelevant to my attraction.
However, my mom would not understand/feel the same way. Weight and size are VERY important to my mom. But it’s deeper than just “I don’t like fat people”. My mom has her degree in Exercise Physiology and is a dance teacher. She also cares a lot about health and fitness, but not always for the right reasons. My brothers are both athletes and I think it makes her feel successful. Even when my dad started to put on a few pounds, she told him to get off his ass and do something for once (My Dad literally works out every day).
I used to dance a lot, (about 15 hours a week) and was a complete bun-head (ballerina) in high school. I was pretty fit at the time, but I haven’t danced in years. In fact, I don’t exercise at all really, and I’m still the same size/weight, if not smaller than I was in HS. I feel like even though I obviously have a very high metabolism and my BF doesn’t, I’m not any healthier than he is. In fact, he probably eats betteless than I do. From what I can tell, it’s almost entirely genetic, because from looking at old pictures, there’s only been once in his life that he was seriously small, which was around his late teens/early 20s, which I’ve since discovered is because he was bulimic at the time. Neither of us are lazy or slobs, and our jobs require us to be on our feet all day and do lots of heavy lifting, but we’re also not like going to the gym together or jogging together every morning. So even though we look different, I don’t consider myself healthier than him, but my mom would not believe me if I told her this. She would say I was making excuses for him, or that I needed to focus on my health.
This is also personal for her. My family and heritage is from South Mississippi where the obesity rate is highest in the country, and my mom has always tried to distance herself from the negative stereotypes of our state. Her mother just died last year because of some of those same reasons; she wasn’t even that old, just super unhealthy.
I understand why my mom cares a lot about health and why she feels some prejudice towards people who appear unhealthy, but sometimes her judgment is flat out unreasonable and even though she can be pretty self aware in some aspects, this is a huge blind spot for her. You see, when I was 11, I grew a lot in a short amount of time and was even bigger than all of my friends for a few years. I was eating a ton at the time and not exercising at all, so I got a bit chubby. One day I was getting into the shower and she shamed me for my stretch marks that I didn’t even notice I had. She started telling me I was chubby and needed to lose weight. She forced me to go walking with her almost every day for a couple years. Genetically though, I am actually really petite and have a really high metabolism. So after puberty, I lost the baby fat and now I’m 5’4 and 110 lbs with a 26” waste and she nags me that I “don’t eat enough”.
I also have a personal history with this in specific regards to past relationships- My first boyfriend was not overweight at all, but he was diabetic and his dad was obese, so she was always concerned about his health and discouraged me from dating him for years because she was worried if we ended up married or with kids, he would “turn into his dad”.
From what I can tell, my boyfriend is not insecure about his weight, and I don’t want to give him a reason to be. I’ve given him several (legitimate) excuses for why I can’t introduce him to my parents yet. But this is the main one, and I can’t bring myself to explain it to him and I don’t even know if I should. But I’m not sure how to avoid it forever, because he’ll have to meet her eventually, and I don’t know how to prepare for her inevitable reaction to seeing him for the first time. And if he does find out, I don’t want him to think I was keeping him from my parents because I was embarrassed by his weight. Plus, I have to prepare for it to be a regular point of discussion for as long as we stay together, and I don’t know how to deal with that, because this is frankly someone I can see myself spending the rest of my life with.
Tl;dr: My mom is super judgmental of people who are overweight, and I don’t know how to introduce her to my chubby boyfriend or how to tell him this about my mom.
submitted by PossibilityFederal to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.08.03 19:40 moujanard [RF] Blanche Laundry


Blanche Laundry
The road was a dance floor to the 1977 Volkswagen van which was gradually swirling on its wheel and moving uphill where the steep downhill section of the way appeared. From that point on, it rolled down faster, as if the brakes lines were cut, seemingly, it was in a rush to find a partner to dance with, but no one showed up. The van was doomed to solitude, so was its owner. Hesam couldn't do without listening to something, even as he was falling asleep. The car radio was not working, so he had no choice but to hum a tune to distract himself. However, he soon got bored. He didn't like being the only one uttering a sound. He even spoke to himself on occasion.
Hesam pulled over to the shoulder of the road. He climbed into the back of the van and turned on the backseat TV mounted on a metal bar. He heard what he longed for, the monotone voice of a TV presenter combined with the electric humming.
The sliding door was easily jammed. He exerted his utmost force to open it. But now, the door was stuck and needed a tune-up. He inspected the vehicle by walking all around it. The body paint gave the van a camo look. Its blue surface looked smooth and straight. It had no scratches but two minor rust spots and the remains of a red hand-painted door lettering: BL AND .
It was Hesam’s handwriting; he had first made a rough sketch with a pencil and filled in the empty shapes with a red brush. The business venture upset the whole family. Hamed, the elder brother flew into an awful rage, as he used to take the van to go on joyrides with his friends. His father was the only one who had liked the idea. He must have assumed that by showcasing their business name, they could draw eyes and earn customers through word of mouth.
The old man had invested his whole life in cleaning, mending, darning and steam-pressing. He had the habit of dictating special discount offers for customers to Hesam and put them in the store window: “Pay for three - Get one free,” “Exchange old clothes with new clothes,” “We make your clothes like new again, the whites whiter, the dark darker.” None of these tricks added up to earnings. The customers were always the same. That might be the reason why the old man got captivated when Hesam came up with the idea of buying a delivery van. He found it the best way to expand their business. He immediately dictated “Free pick-up and delivery at your door!” to Hesam and put it on the wall.
The mileage number was below 20,000 when they bought it. The number would remain more or less the same in years to come. The glossy hand-painted lettering appeared on the sliding door soon after their purchase: Red letters of “Blanche Laundry” which were sharply contrasted with the blue background.
Hesam heard a chatter of the TV when he was back behind the wheel. It was a masculine whisper. In an attempt to imagine his look, he associated the humming noise with a face red with rage. But the actor was showing affection to a woman who had a husky voice and made excuses all the time. Having practiced with clean, ironed ladies-wear hung on the hangers, Hesam felt he mastered the art of expressing love and affection to women. He didn’t like the way the actor conveyed his love. To him, his tone was not tender enough. Staring at their neckline, Hesam would have stroked their hands, which might have been exposed out of their sleeves. He would ask them out for dinner before his sweaty hands revealed his trepidation. Almost all of his ladies-wear interests accepted his dinner invitations, except one. She always rejected him. In her presence, Hesam used to hold the other clothes by a peg to put them in the ceiling-mounted rack where the customer clothes queued up to be delivered.
As far as the eye could see the road was deserted, no other cars and not even a clue of life. A cell phone rang. Hesam thought the ringing was coming from the television because that part of the road was a cellphone dead zone. No one picked up the phone. It was Hesam’s phone ringing. The man on the other side of the line asked some irreverent questions. “How many kilometers are on the odometer? Can I take it for a test drive? It isn't a junk car?” Hesam thought he had dialed the wrong number and hung up the phone. It rang again. “I'm calling regarding your ad, the 1977 blue Volkswagen van,” He was right. Hamed had given him an ultimatum “sell the van or he sells it.” He had sold the shop one month ago, and now the time was right for selling the van. Hesam hung up on her and sped off. Much to his amazement, the woman with the husky voice was still babbling. He floored the gas pedal.
An old man waved his hands from the roadside. Hesam pulled over. The man opened the door and sat on the front seat. He had a long beard with a yellowish cast. His wool coat was covered with grease stains so much so it looked like a shiny leather coat.
“I will get out after rounding the next few bends, I hope I don't disturb you,” he said.
Hesam put the van in gear but hadn’t started moving yet. The old man asked what day of the week it was.
“Monday,” Hesam said after calculating weekdays in his mind.
“Stop the car, it’s not time yet!” he said and opened the door in a flash. He had got off and slammed the door behind him while the van was beginning to move.
What was the significant difference between the weekdays that made him change his mind? He wondered. To his mind, the pick-up and delivery dates distinguished the days; apart from that, all days were the same. All the while, the TV show had finished and Hesam was still wondering whether or not the woman had given a straight answer. After being rejected by his beloved ladies-wear, Hesam had the habit of resentfully putting them in a cover. He then categorized them as outsiders.
A game show came onto the air. The audience’s clapping sound, combined with the humming and howling noises sounded like the chanting of slogans. Four groups of two contestants were to pass a glass-like box through barriers to achieve the target while giving correct answers to some questions. The winner was the group that completed the task first. Hesam became a fan of the second group, answering the questions for them and punching the steering wheel when they answered incorrectly. He couldn't keep pace with them during the obstacle course segment. By the time he had imagined the situation, the next round had begun.
As he curved around a bend in the road, the TV signal was lost. The van was in drive but barely moving. Clouds high in the sky fell towards the earth and fogged up the windshield. He couldn't see a thing. He turned on the headlights to find the route. The Blanche Laundry van passed through the clouds. Driving in thick fog, he felt the heat of steam irons and the smell of the starch spray on the silk. He rolled down the window, the cold sweat sat on his skin. The Laundry had closed down.
Hesam heard a burst of laughter. The TV reception might have improved. Though the sound was smooth, with no humming noise, and the source was getting closer. “Would you stop to pick us up?” two people shouted. Though he had no idea where they were standing, Hesam hit the brakes and turned on the high beams so they could find him. There was a young man and a young woman. Walking up to the driver's window, the man asked where he was going and if they could ride with him.
“To be frank I don't know where I'm going from here but I will go up the road,'' Hesam said, sneaking a look at the woman.
“Cool, come on Setareh,” the guy said without a moment's pause and opened the van door for her and climbed into the front seat. He had long curly hair and a dense beard. The woman seemed to have paid particular attention to her appearance and coordinated the color of her clothes masterfully. Before putting the vehicle in gear, Hesam reached into his pocket, withdrew a piece of paper and held it close to the face of the man.
“I am going there. Am I on the correct route?” Hesam asked.
“I think so. It’s better to keep driving in the same direction, we will get somewhere,” the stranger replied while casting a cursory glance over the address.
“Right on, man! You saved us today” said while sliding the partition aside to the end.
“You know sir, my wife is pregnant and can't walk up the hill,” continued the young man, who gathered himself together.
They burst into laughter suddenly. Hesam was nonchalant on the outside, but the young man felt the need to add, “We are laughing at ourselves, you know, our friends had promised to pick us up but they didn't live up to it. They forgot about their promise to pick up a pregnant woman. Can you believe it?”
They started to laugh again. Pregnant? There was nothing showing.
They had just passed the second bend when Setareh wondered “I can hear a humming noise, don’t you?”
“It’s the TV noise, turn it off,” Hesam said.
“Oh my god, look here,'' she exclaimed. Apparently, she hadn’t noticed what was around till then.
The young man turned back and extended his head out over the partition to see the inside. The cabin was full of clothes. There were two hanging racks bearing at least thirty pieces. Two sets of curtains and a few pairs of shoes were arranged on the cabin mat.
“Are you a theatrical producer?” he said.
“No,” Hesam said laughingly after a long pause.
She flipped through the clothes meticulously and skimmed their color and model one by one. It seemed as if her deep-rooted dream could be realized in that cozy cabin. She removed the hangers from the clothes and held them against her body. He picked up the camera. She posed. Hesam could see a rolling shadow moving from side to side in the rearview mirror.
“Please ask her not to remove the covers,” Hesam said.
“Ugh, hold it! They are just a pile of old used clothes,” she said and grabbed the camera to take a picture of each item.
“Don’t worry. We don’t circulate photos. We take pictures only for our own pleasure. We were taking photos while we were on the road,” the young man said.
The woman gave back the camera and begged Hesam to let her guess his job. He nodded.
“You are a circus owner for sure,” she said and snapped her fingers.
“You are a slackliner most assuredly,” the young man inserted.
“Oh, no! that’s not true! Look at his bald head. Bald on one half, few hairs on the other half, he can’t keep his balance,” she guffawed, “I hope you can forgive me.”
Hesam didn’t answer and they lapsed into silence for a few minutes.
“You are probably a lion tamer, huh? It suits you well” the young man brought his mouth close to Hesam’s ear and groaned. Hesam pushed him back.
“I am an immature lion though,” the man said.
She stretched out her hand to stroke his fur. “Look, for god’s sake, the circus is the only place where those ballet slippers might be matched with the rest,” she said.
A pair of ballet shoes were hung on the handle above the window, the ribbons which wrap spirally around the ankle were carefully wound around the handle.
“Those are called pointe shoes and I’m not a circus owner,” Hesam broke the silence.
“Then you are a dancer who has stolen all this stuff and ran away,” she said and roared with laughter.
Hesam wasn’t a dancer, performing steps while on the tips of his toes with his clumsy feet and huge body, supporting the ballerina by lifting her, holding and steadying her during turns, offering a steady arm or hand for her when she performs balancing feats.
The seated audience stands up while applauding after their extraordinary performance. They leave the stage with elegant steps, walking side by side. No, it was not in the least likely.
He learned “Pointe” from Angine. She was a ballerina and one of their regular customers. They had first written: “Ballet shoes, one pair” on the invoice. When she came up to collect her Laundry, she called for Hesam to come and asked for a pen. She crossed out ‘ballet’ and wrote ‘Point’ instead. Angine was used to having her shoes cleaned once a month. She had her evening gowns, formal suits, leotards and sofa covers cleaned at Blanche Laundry too.
Hesam contorted his face and strained his mind trying to remember the details. The vehicle seemed to have been moving at a very slow pace, as if the strain was transferred to the motor. The road had become so steep that it felt as though the van would roll back as soon as he eased off the gas pedal a bit.
Hesam used to clean her shoes all by himself. He poured sufficiently diluted perc at a low-temperature setting to avoid any damage, steamed the ribbons and sprayed starch on them and waited for her to come until evening. He even washed his hands to put them inside the shoes to imitate the ballet steps clumsily when no one was around.
The road became horizontal. The car moved smoothly. It wasn't foggy anymore. A few feathery snowflakes were scattered widely through the air, falling on the windshield every now and then before fading away.
“Please, don't get offended by her words. Her hormone levels are affected. She doesn't know what she's saying,” the man said while looking at the camera photos.
“My hormones are not imbalanced. I’m curious to know about his job. Am I being rude?” she said, slapped him firmly on the shoulder and turned her face toward Hesam.
“You might be a traveling cloth-salesman. Though nobody would pay for your junk,” she said.
“I own a Laundry shop, or better to say I owned a Laundry shop. These are left from customers who never came up to get their Laundry.” Hesam said.
“Your shop was up on the hill?” the woman said.
“No, I'm going to the address I showed to your husband to deliver a piece of cloth.” Hesam answered.
It was the only postal address he had found. It was typical of the customers who moved to the suburbs, to forget their Laundry. Hesam got their new phone number from their old neighbor. Mr. Naraghi’s wife said he was afflicted. Hesam thought the flannel suit might bring him back to life.
“It is pathetic. It makes no sense to drive the long road to deliver a piece of clothing that the owner didn’t ask for. You’d better return home after taking us up there,” the man said.
“If I had been in your place, I would have turned them into cash or continued working in the circus.” she said and stuck her head out the partition window.
“It sounds like a good idea. You can sell your secondhand clothes anywhere, even here on the roadside,” said the young man.
Hesam was getting fed up. He preferred the humming noise over squabbling with them. At least he didn't have to give explanations or listen to the insane suggestions.
“I will not sell them,” he said. “I might find the owners someday.” the woman roared with laughter. It seemed her mate got embarrassed momentarily. He tried to calm her down but failed.
“Isn’t it ridiculous? After delivering the long forgotten items, they will honor you for long years of exceptional loyalty and stupidity,” the woman said.
“We get off around the next bend, many thanks” the man said while staring out the side window.
Hesam stopped at the next bend. The woman’s belly looked bigger than before. He didn't shake hands with them and pressed the gas pedal to the floor after dropping them off. He arrived at the destination after five or six km, pulled over and parked the car. He removed the suit from the hanger in a ritual-like manner and kept it flat over his forearm and rang the doorbell. A feminine voice asked him to wait. A fair-skinned woman, aged around forty, half-opened the door. Having gazed into her face for a few seconds, Hesam stepped forward nervously and presented the suit.
“I am here to deliver a flannel suit from Blanche Dames Laundry,” he said.
Hesam was the only one who knew the Laundry by that name, but he hadn't said the secret name out loud for such a long time. “Pardon, Blanche Laundry, I guess I talked with your mother on the phone.”
The woman came out the door, What are you talking about? Where the hell is Blanche Laundry?” she said.
“I called the day before yesterday. This flannel suit must belong to your father. It was left at the Laundry for years and we have sold the Laundry shop,” Hesam said, as he kept his hands to himself.
She got irritated and stepped out. Hesam followed her desperately. “I don't get this mockery. The dead ones don't need flannel suits,” she said.
“Your mother told me to bring it.” he said and put the suit on his shoulder.
“Did you come all the way just because of what an old woman said? Anyways, it’s pretty unlikely that my father be the owner,” she said.
Hesam showed her the tag sewn into the inside of the suit. She pulled the label off the suit in a way that the seam of the garment got ripped. Then she came back inside. Hesam stood still and followed her with his eyes. She was fair-skinned and tall. The jade gown was flattering.
“Just a moment please, would you like a jade satin gown? It is inside the van, perfectly cleaned and ironed,” he uttered.
“You do seem to have a lot of time on your hands,” she said, nodding her head.
He removed the cover and wore the suit as soon as she closed the door. The sleeves were too short, but it could keep him warm enough. He thought of giving the suit to the old man on the road for whom the days of the week mattered but he changed his mind right away. The road back home was mostly downhill. He could easily drive all the way without touching the brakes at all.
The snowfall intensified and the windshield wipers couldn't brush aside the accumulation of snow. He began to clear the snow off the windshield with the back of his hand, but he couldn’t keep pace with the snowfall. He pulled over, looked at the cabin from the rear view mirror. He was trying to turn on the television. His eyes fell on the handle above the window. Angine’s shoes were not there. Maybe the wrapping ribbons had come undone and the shoes had fallen on the floor mat. He searched the whole cabin but didn't find them.
He indulged himself in the fantasy of Angine’s face as a very young ballerina. Though her face still looked young to him it had few fine lines around the upper lip or on the neck which wouldn’t appear if she wasn’t so slim. He got embarrassed for proposing the jade gown to Dame Blanche when he recalled the flashback of her dancing with him in that very gown. But he had just thought that the gown suited Dame Blanche because she was a bit taller. Besides, it was to Angine’s benefit. She didn’t have to lift up the gown off the floor with one hand not to stumble while dancing.
Hesam turned on the television. The static noise was heard but there was no TV signal. He changed the channel but nothing changed. He could turn on his cellphone to ask for help. He could sell the Volkswagen to get rid of it. Instead, He sat on the chair beside the hanger and listened to the humming noise.
The 1977 Volkswagen was parked on the roadside. It was buried under the snow. You could hear a slight rustling sound, like when you rub satin and flannel together.
submitted by moujanard to shortstories [link] [comments]


2020.08.01 05:19 preach_sistah Home they brought her warrior

I'm 6. I listen to my father's collection of 70s music. Some pieces jump out and enthrall me. Like Michael Jackson's Thriller. I think, wow, I know music that kids my age don't. How interesting of me.
But the album I keep coming back to is the nostalgia driven croons of The Beautiful South. By age 15, this would be my comforter, music that said everything is okay, everything is as it should be. I pat myself on the back for forming deep connections with music.
I go through my parents' wedding album. If you turn the crank on the inside of the book a few times, it pours out a beautiful tune to help you turn the pages with a sese of nostalgia. When the tune ends, I come back to the reality of love lost.
I'm 17. I discover psychedelic rock. I know the lyrics to every song, along with the history and hidden meaning to each one. I'm clearly, clearly, serious about music.
Now I'm watching a tv show. An old lady sits in front of a music box that plays tones stitched together to break your heart. She sits watching a tiny ballerina make slow turns. Her face is blank, no tears. You see, she's lost everybody in her life and all she has left to remind her of them is this box. I can't understand why she won't cry.
I'm 21. I'm on a date. He asks me what my favorite bands are. I rattle out some names. He says "wow, we like the same things. We are so similar." We struck a chord - I buy that. I am with him for two years as we remain stuck on the same notes, the same progressions.
I've made playlists now based on moods. To go to when I want to feel a certain way, or not feel a certain way, or be reminded how it was to feel a certain way, or to stop feeling altogether. I have songs that are associated with people. Songs that they introduced me to, songs I returned the favor with. They became our songs. Most people leave behind our songs when they leave me; I revisit these occasionally. But some take their music with them; those sounds are lost to tears.
I'm 30 and someone close to me dies. I wait for my world to collapse, the skies to fall down. It doesn't. I play their favorite song as I lie next to them, hold them one last time. Then they're gone from this world.
It's now. I'm on YouTube. The same favorite song is before me. The thumbnail is waiting to be clicked. After an eternity, the thumbnail gives way to the song. I rightclick loop it. The song is heartbreaking but my heart is already broken. The wound is already bled, and there is nothing more to be spent.
I now understand why she won't cry.
submitted by preach_sistah to TwoXIndia [link] [comments]


2020.07.31 22:20 quarantinethoughts Wedding Shaming Story that was removed

Part I https://www.reddit.com/weddingshaming/comments/hr4b8a/shenanigans_wedding/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
Part Deux https://www.reddit.com/weddingshaming/comments/hslfdx/shenanigans_wedding_part_deux/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
So to give the insight of the horrible bride and the start of their relationship, it was almost a year after groom friend and perfect gf broke up, when he met horrible bride, and we were all happy for him. He showed us her photos, and there was an age gap, but not inappropriately so, with him being late 30’s and her being 30. She looked gorgeous, and her bio info sounded like they would make a great match. Her pics were filled with her doing fun activities, and she was tall, blondeish, and quite pretty, but...
When we met her, that was when I learned of filters (LOL) and the lengths that some people go to convey a life they don’t actually live on their dating bios. The girl actually photoshopped herself into these scenic pics, bought expensive clothes to pose in, then return, straight up stole other people’s photos, etc...
She was superficially ‘nice,’ and her method of making conversation was to make fun of people’s cars and clothes and purses and watches etc... and she even made fun of us for having student loan debt. Bitch didn’t even have a degree or even a job. We tried to excuse that as her being insecure in meeting new people. Regardless, we all made the effort to be kind and to and get to know her, but it became clear that this girl was just not into anything but herself or talking shit about others.
They met via online dating, but she insists that they tell everyone that they “met through mutual friends.” I don’t know why this was such a thing for her. She had a total meltdown when she found out we knew the truth.
Friend was always the laid back, amenable type. But with her, they always fought. In front of people and in public. She picked fights over the most trivial things and it was embarrassing. I’ve never known a couple that fought so much in front of others. It made for very unfortunate times for when we were together for events.
Anyways, none of us could understand wtf friend saw in her. We chalked it up to Magic Vagina. He said it was because he really wanted to settle down. Friend’s personality slowly changed as the months went on. His work was suffering (a few of us worked together), he dropped out of all the activities he enjoyed, he started gaining a lot of weight, drinking more, took less care of his appearance and home, and just all around seemed sad.
So basically, she moved herself into his house in the first month of dating and started isolating him from his friends and family. The few times she would ‘allow’ him to work late or hang out with others, she always fabricated an ‘emergency’ that required him to leave ASAP. He actually looked like he was on the road to calling it quits with her but one night about a year into dating, he told us she was pregnant. We all got the feeling that she could tell he was preparing to break up with her and that’s what pushed her to this Hail Mary claim that she was pregnant. We were shocked. Couple of the guys took him aside to talk to him, told him he didn’t have to marry her. Friend was pretty silent and said he had to do the right thing.
So wedding happens (Fun fact: she tried to get away with not inviting any of groom’s friends to the wedding which explains how we were treated at the wedding), honeymoon happens, and they’re back home. Bride starts up this hilariously bad ‘new wife’ blog and it was incredible levels of dumb. She made her entire personality about being a “posh young new kept wife” and desperately tried to put out this image that they were wealthy. Friend did well financially, but not private jet-level well. She put her parents and themselves into some crazy debt for the wedding because she is ALL about images.
Bride once group messaged us pics of an apartment complex (not even a condo complex) on an artificial reservoir but the text said “I bought a beach house!” Lmao. Girl couldn’t afford to buy a box of tic tacs. In a moment of weakness, I was a dick and texted friend and said, “Congrats on the new beach house!” and of course he didn’t know what I was talking about. I told him about the IG post and he was embarrassed AF and told us she did this kind of shit all the time and he’s trying to get her to stop.
Speaking of lies, one of her funniest lies was about being a Rhodes scholar (which was immediately caught out, as first of all, girl was dumber than dog shit and she typed it as “Roads/Roods/Rodes/Rods” - never once correctly spelled it. She also claimed to be an “expert on economics,” and “almost” attended MIT for grad school but she “really wanted a family instead.” She also told people that she “almost decided” to be a professional “ballerina” after she took one barre class (and deemed herself a ballerina lol), oh, and let’s not forget the most unforgivable lie: the pregnancy.
Friend didn’t divulge the details, and none of us felt it was our place to pry, but he told us that she wasn’t pregnant and that she came clean about it during the honeymoon. We assumed she miscarried but friend was like, nope, she lied. He said he didn’t want to talk about it but they were going to stay together and work on things.
One thing he did explain was that he felt that after the breakup with the amazing gf, he felt like he would never find anyone nearly as great as her, and that time was not on his side. So he felt like he had to take what he could get at his age if he were to have his dream of having a family. Sad, but this is not unheard of with many people.
Sorry this has turned into a novella.
So they get for-real pregnant on ‘accident.’ Literally a month after she admitted the fake pregnancy and they had the big talk about how they needed to work on things and that it isn’t the right time to have a baby and they have tons of stuff to work on etc etc... she promised that she was on BC, and that her gyno told her she was likely infertile blah blah. Still, he was a dumbass for believing her and not taking any precautions on his end.
Their relationship somehow gets worse during the pregnancy. She gives birth (that she live-streamed) then her idiot ass decides that’s when they’ll go on a baby moon. Lmfao isn’t a babymoon supposed to happen before the baby is born?? Friend is a full-blown idiot and they go, and it’s basically honeymoon all over again. She refused to leave the hotel room. But the good thing to come of it? He finally fucking realizes that he needs to divorce her ass.
She of course desperately tries everything to manipulate him to change his mind. Faked another pregnancy. Got into a car wreck with the weeks-old baby in the car (!!!), became an even worse hypochondriac and tried to put herself in hospital every week, then finally ran away with the baby but came back after one night because she couldn’t hack taking care of the baby on her own.
There was a terrible incident with the baby losing too much weight in her first several weeks because she was intentionally not feeding her enough, so friend got a live-in nanny to care for the baby immediately after this. Also, there were some suspicions of factitious disorder by proxy.
Basically, when he told her he was leaving her, she pulled every play from the narcissist’s handbook. Her dumb ass didn’t realize she was digging a hole for herself when it came to custody. Before all her antics, he was willing to share custody. But after all her BS, he went scorched-earth.
They weren’t even married for a year. She dragged the divorce out for almost two. All for nothing. She just tried to make life hell for my friend with ridiculous accusations and demands. I don’t know where she found the money, but she took him to court for every little fabricated infraction she dreamed up.
During the proceedings, he had full primary custody and she got supervised visits. They got to a point where she got unsupervised visits, but strangely, she rarely even showed up for them. Then she just disappeared off the face of the earth and that was how the divorce was finalized. She just failed to appear so everything ruled in his favor.
Friend is doing much better now with his daughter. He’s dated here and there but I think he’s resigned to staying single and just focusing on his kid. So that is the long-winded story of the worst wedding I’ve ever attended. Sorry it was so long!
submitted by quarantinethoughts to u/quarantinethoughts [link] [comments]


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