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Being harassed online by guys younger than me ?

2020.09.22 02:31 Friendly-Cicada-2642 Being harassed online by guys younger than me ?

This is gonna sound so stupid but I am 18F and i like going on discord and stuff to game with people but theres barely any people my age there . Like waay more kids then adults . If you go to 18 plus servers its all sex and hookups and dating . I just wanna talk and chill with people and game but theres a lot of younger teens here and they like sometimes straight up make sexual comments towards me and its not just one guy its mostly every guy! I dont wanna get in trouble im just talking to them as friends and when they do it i say to stop . Is it a thing for teens or even children to bully a adult i feel so stupid lol but im kind of a pushover and as long as its like good natured teasing i dont mind but i dont like the sexual innuendos and such. I mean just cuz they are the minor they think its ok but its not is it ? isnt there a law they cant speak like that to me too ?
submitted by Friendly-Cicada-2642 to TwoXChromosomes [link] [comments]


2020.09.21 12:01 bhadby2k I’m sick of all these LVM.

I (19F) am going to be 20 in a few months and I still have never been in a serious relationship. I am still a virgin, because I don’t deal with LVM hookup culture and want a relationship for my first time.
I’ve been on a few dates. My first date was 16 with a LV work colleague who refused to pay for my $2 chips because he had “spent all the money on booze” and we couldn’t even go to the arcade because like I said, he was “broke”. I never kissed him because the idiot decides to eat a garlic chicken salad when we got food.
My second and third date was when I was 18 with a guy I met on tinder. I thought he was a HVM in the beginning because he paid for everything on the two dates, and never said anything about wanting to have sex with me. He also met me at the door and said hi to my Mum and dad (I kind of told him he had to, otherwise my parents wouldn’t let me leave the house lol). He showed me his phone on our first date to prove he wasn’t talking to any other women and deleted his tinder upon meeting me. He was my first kiss. He started to become a LVM man and I was falling for everything. He ghosted me and then admitted he “wasn’t ready for a relationship” yet he was still talking to me on Snapchat, eventually being hot and cold and only talking to me when he wanted to.
It all ended when we bumped into each other at a club and he told me he wanted to “see me again”. He also tried to talk into having sex with me. However he ghosted me and then finds my best friend on tinder the next day. She told him that he wasn’t very nice to me after he asked her out and he told her “she’s (myself) is twisting shit but believe what you want”.
So he ended up becoming a “HVM” for this other girl, who got to be his gf. He has “relationship goals” as his icon pictures on all his social media media and made it official on all platforms (bios, statuses, even has a Spotify playlist dedicated to her). He stopped liking pictures with other women and unfollowed models. They go on all these amazing dates. All her friends think he is this amazing HV king and adore him. He only ever started smiling in pictures with her. I went insane (worst mistake) which lead to him blocking me on everything and her friends publicly attacking me for trying to ruin “their loving and committed relationship” when I was really trying to get closure (lesson learnt!). I sometimes think that I maybe contributed to him becoming a very “HVM”.
So I’m trying to go on my journey to find the next HVM and I want to give up. 99% of guys, especially on dating apps and social media are LVM. I talk to guys mostly my age (19-22). They post the worst pictures and descriptions on their dating profiles. They all want try and have sex with me and will get cold and ghost me when I tell them that I’m not a hookup kind of girl. A guy on Facebook goes on about how his last time was horrible. Men treat women like shit thinking we will drop anything to give them a quick fuck. These guys don’t even want to go on dates. They suggest a date and then the will ghost. And every time it’s a date they want to go for coffee or something. These guys are lazy with texting and take days to reply. They all act like they are in their early teens.
All my friends are in relationships, and it hurts to see them with these obviously LVM. I can’t stand a guy who doesn’t have his “life together” either. To me a HVM is someone with a decent job, a car and license, has respect for women, has a good social circle, and isn’t afraid to show you off. Because of this I don’t think I’ll ever get into a relationship. And it may be because of my age, but they seem to get worse as they are older.
What are some dating strategies for trying to find a HVM at a young age?
submitted by bhadby2k to FemaleDatingStrategy [link] [comments]


2020.09.21 07:26 SargeBarge- It’s been 5 years should I confess?

16M. 16F
I’m a teenager. I’ve liked this girl for about 4-5 years. The first 2 years, we were great friends. As weird as this may sound, it felt like we were dating. We were very physical with each other. (She’d touch my hair or touch my face) and I’d touch her hair a lot. Often times, when I used to slouch over on my desk, she’d put her hair on top of my head. She’d tell me things and I’d tell her things. I had a really strong feeling that she had the same feelings for me. We use to talk and text everyday. Everyday I thought of her, seriously. Now, In those 2 years. She had dated a guy. This was at a young teen age and the relationship ended in a few months. A lot of times she’d spend time with me, instead of her bf and it felt weird. I was happy of course but you’re in a relationship, this is kinda weird. But, like I said we were young teens, so the relationship didn’t mean much. Her and I just clicked and I felt like there was something there. But, I never confessed. We both went to different high schools. It’s been 5 years. Now, the next 3 years I haven’t seen her, we only text about once a week. I’ve thought of her almost everyday for the last 5 years. I’ve tried so many times to stop talking to her and cut her off. Probably, not a smart decision, lol. But, I just didn’t want to think about her and yet I did. I’d try not to text her for longs periods of time but she’d text me and I’d text back and sometimes when she wouldn’t text me in a long time I’d text her and she would text back. It was a cycle for 3 years. I really wish I confessed 3 years ago. But, I’m not sure what i was afraid of , maybe rejection. As of right now, I’m not really scared of her rejecting me, but scared of how she might feel afterward, like I really really don’t want to make her uncomfortable. If she didn’t want to be my friend, I’d like that tbh. I can’t see her any other way as someone I really want to be with. So, if I can’t be with her, I’d rather not even be her friend. Is that fucked up? I’m really not sure but that’s how I feel. . I think she might be seeing someone, 50-60%. So, I don’t want to confess when she’s with someone. But, I don’t even know how to explain this but I hate thinking about her, but I can’t stop thinking about her. Nowadays, obviously texting once a week isn’t enough to know if whether or not she likes me. Well, that’s about it. I feel like the only way to stop thinking about her, is to tell her my feelings and get rejected. Then, move on. I think having that feeling of “if” she might like me. Is what keeps me thinking of her. I’m not really sure if this is the right subreddit to do it but here goes. Thanks :)
submitted by SargeBarge- to dating_advice [link] [comments]


2020.09.21 07:24 SargeBarge- It’s been 5 years should I confess?

I’m a teenager. I’ve liked this girl for about 4-5 years. The first 2 years, we were great friends. As weird as this may sound, it felt like we were dating. We were very physical with each other. (She’d touch my hair or touch my face) and I’d touch her hair a lot. Often times, when I used to slouch over on my desk, she’d put her hair on top of my head. She’d tell me things and I’d tell her things. I had a really strong feeling that she had the same feelings for me. We use to talk and text everyday. Everyday I thought of her, seriously. Now, In those 2 years. She had dated a guy. This was at a young teen age and the relationship ended in a few months. A lot of times she’d spend time with me, instead of her bf and it felt weird. I was happy of course but you’re in a relationship, this is kinda weird. But, like I said we were young teens, so the relationship didn’t mean much. Her and I just clicked and I felt like there was something there. But, I never confessed. We both went to different high schools. It’s been 5 years. Now, the next 3 years I haven’t seen her, we only text about once a week. I’ve thought of her almost everyday for the last 5 years. I’ve tried so many times to stop talking to her and cut her off. Probably, not a smart decision, lol. But, I just didn’t want to think about her and yet I did. I’d try not to text her for longs periods of time but she’d text me and I’d text back and sometimes when she wouldn’t text me in a long time I’d text her and she would text back. It was a cycle for 3 years. I really wish I confessed 3 years ago. But, I’m not sure what i was afraid of , maybe rejection. As of right now, I’m not really scared of her rejecting me, but scared of how she might feel afterward, like I really really don’t want to make her uncomfortable. If she didn’t want to be my friend, I’d like that tbh. I can’t see her any other way as someone I really want to be with. So, if I can’t be with her, I’d rather not even be her friend. Is that fucked up? I’m really not sure but that’s how I feel. . I think she might be seeing someone, 50-60%. So, I don’t want to confess when she’s with someone. But, I don’t even know how to explain this but I hate thinking about her, but I can’t stop thinking about her. Nowadays, obviously texting once a week isn’t enough to know if whether or not she likes me. Well, that’s about it. I feel like the only way to stop thinking about her, is to tell her my feelings and get rejected. Then, move on. I think having that feeling of “if” she might like me. Is what keeps me thinking of her. I’m not really sure if this is the right subreddit to do it but here goes. Thanks :)
submitted by SargeBarge- to OkCupid [link] [comments]


2020.09.21 07:23 SargeBarge- It’s been 5 years should I confess?

I’m a teenager. I’ve liked this girl for about 4-5 years. The first 2 years, we were great friends. As weird as this may sound, it felt like we were dating. We were very physical with each other. (She’d touch my hair or touch my face) and I’d touch her hair a lot. Often times, when I used to slouch over on my desk, she’d put her hair on top of my head. She’d tell me things and I’d tell her things. I had a really strong feeling that she had the same feelings for me. We use to talk and text everyday. Everyday I thought of her, seriously. Now, In those 2 years. She had dated a guy. This was at a young teen age and the relationship ended in a few months. A lot of times she’d spend time with me, instead of her bf and it felt weird. I was happy of course but you’re in a relationship, this is kinda weird. But, like I said we were young teens, so the relationship didn’t mean much. Her and I just clicked and I felt like there was something there. But, I never confessed. We both went to different high schools. It’s been 5 years. Now, the next 3 years I haven’t seen her, we only text about once a week. I’ve thought of her almost everyday for the last 5 years. I’ve tried so many times to stop talking to her and cut her off. Probably, not a smart decision, lol. But, I just didn’t want to think about her and yet I did. I’d try not to text her for longs periods of time but she’d text me and I’d text back and sometimes when she wouldn’t text me in a long time I’d text her and she would text back. It was a cycle for 3 years. I really wish I confessed 3 years ago. But, I’m not sure what i was afraid of , maybe rejection. As of right now, I’m not really scared of her rejecting me, but scared of how she might feel afterward, like I really really don’t want to make her uncomfortable. If she didn’t want to be my friend, I’d like that tbh. I can’t see her any other way as someone I really want to be with. So, if I can’t be with her, I’d rather not even be her friend. Is that fucked up? I’m really not sure but that’s how I feel. . I think she might be seeing someone, 50-60%. So, I don’t want to confess when she’s with someone. But, I don’t even know how to explain this but I hate thinking about her, but I can’t stop thinking about her. Nowadays, obviously texting once a week isn’t enough to know if whether or not she likes me. Well, that’s about it. I feel like the only way to stop thinking about her, is to tell her my feelings and get rejected. Then, move on. I think having that feeling of “if” she might like me. Is what keeps me thinking of her. I’m not really sure if this is the right subreddit to do it but here goes. Thanks :)
submitted by SargeBarge- to dating_advice [link] [comments]


2020.09.21 07:23 SargeBarge- It’s been 5 years should I confess?

I’m a teenager. I’ve liked this girl for about 4-5 years. The first 2 years, we were great friends. As weird as this may sound, it felt like we were dating. We were very physical with each other. (She’d touch my hair or touch my face) and I’d touch her hair a lot. Often times, when I used to slouch over on my desk, she’d put her hair on top of my head. She’d tell me things and I’d tell her things. I had a really strong feeling that she had the same feelings for me. We use to talk and text everyday. Everyday I thought of her, seriously. Now, In those 2 years. She had dated a guy. This was at a young teen age and the relationship ended in a few months. A lot of times she’d spend time with me, instead of her bf and it felt weird. I was happy of course but you’re in a relationship, this is kinda weird. But, like I said we were young teens, so the relationship didn’t mean much. Her and I just clicked and I felt like there was something there. But, I never confessed. We both went to different high schools. It’s been 5 years. Now, the next 3 years I haven’t seen her, we only text about once a week. I’ve thought of her almost everyday for the last 5 years. I’ve tried so many times to stop talking to her and cut her off. Probably, not a smart decision, lol. But, I just didn’t want to think about her and yet I did. I’d try not to text her for longs periods of time but she’d text me and I’d text back and sometimes when she wouldn’t text me in a long time I’d text her and she would text back. It was a cycle for 3 years. I really wish I confessed 3 years ago. But, I’m not sure what i was afraid of , maybe rejection. As of right now, I’m not really scared of her rejecting me, but scared of how she might feel afterward, like I really really don’t want to make her uncomfortable. If she didn’t want to be my friend, I’d like that tbh. I can’t see her any other way as someone I really want to be with. So, if I can’t be with her, I’d rather not even be her friend. Is that fucked up? I’m really not sure but that’s how I feel. . I think she might be seeing someone, 50-60%. So, I don’t want to confess when she’s with someone. But, I don’t even know how to explain this but I hate thinking about her, but I can’t stop thinking about her. Nowadays, obviously texting once a week isn’t enough to know if whether or not she likes me. Well, that’s about it. I feel like the only way to stop thinking about her, is to tell her my feelings and get rejected. Then, move on. I think having that feeling of “if” she might like me. Is what keeps me thinking of her. I’m not really sure if this is the right subreddit to do it but here goes. Thanks :)
submitted by SargeBarge- to dating [link] [comments]


2020.09.20 23:03 PennGPaw Music recommendations

So I’m a 22 F and I like to consider myself hip and happening still, but let’s be real - I’m not lol. My aunt asked for my advice for what music she should play during her practices (she’s a high school girl swim coach) and I feel so out of tune with the youth. I dabble in Tik Tok and love me some Tik Tok songs, but I’m not super up to date with the music of teens.
What are some songs you all would like to hear during swim practice? Mainly to get pumped and keep energy high so no lofi or anything like that at this time please
(Should mention it’s a preppy school. Kinda “basic”)
Thank you!!
submitted by PennGPaw to teenagers [link] [comments]


2020.09.20 21:03 Mistresspreslie Why sex workers support Donald Trump

Interesting isn't it?🧐
Republicans are conservative, that's just a fact. And sex workers are just . . . Not. Lol! A conservative sex worker is one who conceals their face while posting naughty pictures online.
But why do so many sex workers lean towards President Trump versus Joe Biden?
I was a stripper for nine years, now running an onlyfans site & online webcamming. Throughout my whole career I have been a diehard Republican.
I am from New Jersey which is a very liberal state, but I do come from a Republican county. The area I live in has a lot of wealth and they don't want to see more of it go to taxes. So that has always stuck with me, Democrats will raise taxes. Even if they raised property taxes last year, they will raise them again this year
I started dancing in 2011 under the Obama administration. I was 18 years old when I started, and all of the "older" strippers had told me that before the recession they were killing it. Once the recession hit they had to fight to make money. At this time in 2011 things were slowly getting better. People were getting out of that recession mentality; "save every penny because you could lose your job tomorrow." But the industry had no way recovered to pre-2008 standards.
I had gotten really lucky. I was 18 years old "fresh meat" and I was going to make money just because I was the new girl. But I watched a lot of girls struggle to make $200 on a weekend night that should bring in $600+ easily.
I had two good summers, in 2012 and 2013. I was a new face, I was still a "teen," like I said, "fresh meat" sells better. 2014 was horrible! I was only 21 years old and it was an awful summer, no one was making money. The Jersey shore was dead, rentals were empty. Hurricane Sandy hit in November 2012, most businesses were back up and running in the summer of 2013. Some had yet to reopen in 2013, but by the summer of 2014 All of the businesses had re-opened, all of the rentals have been fixed and open for business. But only half were booked ON WEEKENDS. Weekdays were absolutely dead. Our club being 3 miles from the beach relied heavily on this summer traffic. During 2014 there waa no difference between summer and winter. Both were the same, disappointing. Many of my friends were struggling, needing to work 6 days a week just to get by.
2015 got a little bit better, but not much. And then a big change came in 2016.
2016 was an election year, and yes strippers talk politics. Now 23 years old and dancing for five years I was already a veteran. I was one of the highest earners at the club and people would often come to me for money making advice. I also love talking politics, history, and proving people wrong; so the dressing room hosted A LOT of political debates. "Welcome to debate club, strippers edition." 😂
A lot of the new, younger girls were very excited about Hillary Clinton running for President. They were hoping that she would win, that she would legalize marijuana, that she would "change" this country. But the girls who had been dancing for years, the girls who were making a lot of money. . . They were all for candidate Trump.
"Why would you vote for Trump?" Was a question I was frequently asked.
"Trump wants to make abortion illegal!" "Trump will never legalize marijuana!" Those were the biggest complaints about Trump.
As for abortion, I believe the woman has the right to choose. But I also know politics. I know that Trump is from New York and he's not super conservative, he is not from the Bible belt, he is never going to waste his time making abortions illegal in this country. He knows they are a necessary evil. But will he say he is against it? Absolutely, he needs to please those ultra conservative voters. Something A LOT OF PEOPLE don't understand.
As for marijuana, I think we need the extra revenue so that the Democrats could spend it. But would Hillary Clinton have been able to make it legal with a Republican controlled Senate. (And house at the time I believe). . I don't think so.
And like I stated the girls who were making a lot of money, who had invested in other businesses and were getting ready to retire, or who had owned real estate. . . They were all voting for Trump.
"The Trump girls," did not want to pay more money in taxes in a very high tax state. They wanted to be able to use their extra income to invest in other opportunities, to invest in their kids college education, or go to school themselves. Of course the younger Clinton voters weren't even claiming taxes, so they didn't care how much she raised our taxes. They wanted to collect more welfare because their income was totally off the books.
President Trump ended up winning the election, and very quickly Something Happened. The stock market started going up. As mentioned, we are from a republican wealthy county in New Jersey. A lot of these men work in New York on Wall Street, or are heavily invested in the market. Once the stock market went up, the club was popping! The winter of 2016-2017 was amazing. People felt more secure to spend money, Guys had no problem dropping $3,4,500 in the VIP room. We finally had a huge shower of singles on stage for the first time in forever. And this was only the winter.
Summer 2017 came and it was my best summer ever. It was my best summer even though by mid august I was barely working as I was suffering horrible morning sickness when I got pregnant with my first child. $1500 could be made in 2-3 hours on a weekend night. If you got really lucky it could be made as a tip in a 15 minute VIP room. 2017 was the summer of money!
My life took a turn however. After I had my son I really didn't work that much. I would go in one or two days a month. But it was still enough for me to be able to buy my very first apartment! If I had worked like that during the Obama years, I would have been struggling to pay rent. However I was paying a mortgage and saving money.
I basically call myself semi-retired now. And now I am entering my third trimester with my second baby. But from august 2017-january 2020 on a two day a month schedule, I was able to save enough money to put a down payment on a bigger home.
The taxes in this state are ridiculous, and we will never vote in a Republican governor to lower our taxes. But the last thing I need is higher federal taxes.
Instead of debating The legalization of marijuana, I am now having debates about college education for my kids. Why wouldn't I vote for Joe Biden who believes in free college education? I am going to have two children to put through college. And that answer is very simple. My kids are young. I have 15 1/2 more years to save for my older son and I started saving for him a week after he was born. Even if I only put away $2000 a year, he will have $36,000 once he turns 18; enough to pay for his first year. Invested in the S&P 500 that could easily be $70,000. What if I have a good year and I could invest another thousand dollars?
Joe Biden wants to give us free community college which is what? 5K a year? Even if he did make four year colleges free, would they be only state schools? Im sure private schools wouldn't be free. At rutgers the current tuition in-state is about $10,000/year. 4 years would be $40,000. With what I am saving right now, I would only be $4000 short of covering all four years of college. That is not calculating gains from the market.
But what if my taxes were raised another $2000 a year? That money would be going to the government instead of saving for my son. What if he increased taxes to 50%? Not only would I not be able to save money for my kids I wouldn't be able to save money for short term goals.
I recently became an only fans creator, taking advantage of my pregnancy and the fetish industry. Some of these woman are making $300,000+ a year. I have been much more successful in a month than I ever thought I would.
My reason for starting this work was to help my husband fund our home renovation. I thought I would be able to help with little things, but now I am going to be able to help with bigger things and save money for my kids college fund.
As I am learning more about the online sex worker industry, I see all of the expenses these girls have. They need to buy good cameras and film equipment. Constantly on their phones, you need good service and a lot of data. New content is a must for success, hence new outfits, backdrops, toys, props, and shoes for the foot fetish guys!
All of the money needs to be claimed INCLUDING tips. It's not like being a stripper where the majority of your money goes unclaimed, in fact it can't even be tracked because it's cash tipped to you behind a closed VIP room curtain. Every dime an Only Fans creator makes is carefully logged and must be claimed at the end of the year. And let's not forget Only Fans takes 20% of your earnings off the top, to run their website and because of the high fees credit card companies charge because it is considered a "high risk industry."
So creators lose 20% off the top. I would say they easily spend 10% of their income on work related expenses for making their content better. Some pay for promotions so that their pages grow faster. Others NEED assistants or hire other experts. We employ a lot of other people! But 30% is gone right away.
Then you have to pay taxes, depending on your state and your tax bracket it could be as little as 15% and as much as 40%! Let's say we need to pay 25% in taxes just like a lot of people. That's 55% of our money gone.
Let's say you're doing pretty well on only fans making $5000 a month, $60,000/year. $12,000 you'll never even see. $6000 goes towards all of the expenses and is tax deductible. And now you have to pay taxes on $42,000. $10,500 (25%) and $16,800(40%) doesn't seem like a big difference, but it is when you put in so much hard work. Imagine making $60,000 but only having $25,000 to show for it after taxes. It makes it not even worth it.
Even if you're working 12 hours a day/7 days a week and making $200,000/year on Only fans, having less than $100,000 in your pocket at the end of the day is complete BS!
Some might ask, why not switch sites? Live cam sites take 40% or more of your money! If you're a stay at home mom like me, you can't stream live on camera while your kid is home or awake.
So now that I got into the financials of online sex work, you can understand why so many sex workers support President Trump. Unlike a regular job, we have to pay a fee just to make money. We don't want our taxes raised on top of it!
Then there are the customers. We rely on customers to put their credit card into a Onlyfans, and spend anywhere from $3 to $20 a month on a creator's subscription profile.
Despite many people losing their jobs because of Covid, the site has been busier than ever. Instead of going out to clubs, movies, or taking girls on dates, guys have been going on dates with their favorite online sex worker. but not everybody is able to do that at the moment.
If you are struggling, if you can't pay your bills, you're not going to be spending money on online porn, let's be real. Covid and the impact it has had on jobs is not the Presidents' fault. I'm thinking back to that horrible summer of 2014 when Obama was in office. How slow would Only Fans be if this was 2014. With so many extra creators trying to make money because they also have lost jobs, there would be very few girls making big money, and the majority making nothing. Right now you have a lot of girls making a lot of money, a lot of girls making a decent living, and just a few making pennies.
I think President Trump has given customers confidence that the economy is going to turn around, that jobs are going to come back. He has also given them an amazing economy over the past few years that has allowed people to fill their savings accounts. We are not in the "save every penny mentality," that I saw in 2011 when things were recovering from a big recession.
That's Another reason many sex workers support Trump. He gives clients the confidence to spend their hard earned money.
There are many issues that sex workers do not agree with Republicans on. The biggest I could think of is abortion & the woman's right to choose. Prostitution is another big one, especially for me. I would love to see legal prostitution in New Jersey one day! I would be so proud if my son could own New Jersey's first legal brothel. The reasons why I support LEGAL prostitution is a totally different argument, but Republicans would never support that! Yet I still side with Republicans.
We side with Republicans because we want to have better lives not only for ourselves but for our children. And in this country you need money to have a better life. You need money to move from a tiny two bedroom apartment into a simple townhouse. You need money to invest in your children's future so they don't need to be sex workers. You need money to invest in another business so you don't need to sext all day long. And you need money if you want to clear your head and take a vacation or go to the spa for a day! And that money does better in the hands of individual citizens to choose what they want to do with it, versus in the hands of the government!
If you have the "guts" to be a sex worker you should be compensated. It is a huge industry that makes billions of dollars, and provides jobs for millions of people. (and I say GUTS because not everyone can have the confidence to go online and show their body to strangers. Not everyone could act. Not everyone could stand tall and tell the world, I send nude videos for a living.)
I could stand tall and say it! I am a sex worker! I work really hard for my money! I show my body on camera to random men, and I'm good at it! And I don't want Joe Biden to come in and raise taxes under the farce of "free college." I don't need Joe Biden to make everyday working men lose confidence in our economy. And I certainly don't need to spend priceless time to decipher what the hell Joe Biden is trying to say to me (sorry I had to add that! 😂) And if the day ever comes that I decide I don't want to do this work anymore, I know President Trump has made the economy great and could make it even better, allowing me to find another well-paying job to support my family.
Written by me: -Mistress Preslie 🖤💋
submitted by Mistresspreslie to trump [link] [comments]


2020.09.20 18:43 Kittinator Drop Foot Experiences?

So I know every person is different when it comes to stuff like this. But I've honestly had the worst year of my life. And the fact that its 2020 and is making everything far more difficult then it needs to be..
33 years old. Female
I guess to make this as short as possible. It started back in early May. I've had Sciatica (Right side) flare ups for years. Probably since I was in my late teens, early twenties. I'm 33 years old now. My usual fixes were exercises, steroid shots, rest, NSAIDs, Cold. Nothing was working. My doctor sent me to a chiropractor for four weeks. That didn't help. He wanted me to get an MRI so my family doctor ordered one which was turned down. They wanted me to do some PT first.
PT appointment seemed to go normal. It was my first one on August 13th. The guy had me do very simple exercises. Pushed on my mid and lower back. Felt no pain. Went home, made dinner and went to bed. Friday morning I woke up and could not walk. My balance was poor. I had no feeling on the right side of my shin. Top of my foot and the first 3 toes were numb starting with the big toe. This was my right foot. I couldn't lift my foot from my ankle no matter how hard I tried. I panicked and called my husband. He was working at the time. We went to the ER where they looked me over. Gave me a steroid shot, pain shot and prescribed me prednisone for 5 days.
This did nothing. But the weird thing is. My sciatica stopped. I'm in little to no pain (occasional lower back pain). But now I'm left with what my doctor said was Foot Drop. They finally pushed for an MRI. It was scheduled a week after I was diagnosed. The MRI showed that I had a large protrusion compressing on a nerve on my L4-L5. I also have some on L3-L4 and my L5-S1. They faxed three hospitals who could take my case as quick as they could. I had an appointment September 10th.
Surgeon told me I needed to have a Microdiscectomy. They're focusing on the worst one which is my L4-L5. At that point I have already had the Foot drop for almost a month. And by this date September 20th I still have it.
The thing is. I'm not too worried about the Microdiscectomy. I'm more terrified of the foot drop being permanent. I help my husband with his job. And there is a ton of walking and driving. We run a vendor route. At this point I can't even drive. I can't get up stairs or down stairs with out having a death grip on the railing because my leg is so weak. This has stressed me out so bad that I think I'm starting to lose my hair lol.
I guess my question is. What were your experiences with drop foot? How long did you have it before they did an operation? If you did have an operation, did it cure it? If you had a Microdiscectomy. Did it help you?
submitted by Kittinator to Sciatica [link] [comments]


2020.09.20 10:47 tamasalamo My (m/34) friend/colleague (f/39) of more then a decade says I made her feel uncomfortable recently. I do have feelings for her but any advice on repairing our friendship?

Bit of a long one. Thoughts and help pls. I think i just crossed lines with a woman, friend and colleague whom I have known over a decade. We started university and even graduated together on the same day. We even started work in the same workplace and of course got very close at times.
However never went romantic apart from hugs, kisses and hours of personal talk. I also never escalated because we both seemed to be in serious relationships with other people at the same time. We are also busy bees at work and we also have children in their teens (not with each other of course).
I was in the 'brozone' definitely years ago. But plenty times almost crossing that close friends line the past 4 years... which was also when I developed feelings for her... and I suspect she the same (but I dont want to assume). But me being an idiot never took it to the next level incase it ruined things between us as friends.
2 years ago we went seperate ways in different countries for studies. This led to us having a short fallout. She said I had made her uncomfortable the past few months through emails and her then partner was also concerned about our friendship. She also felt I was crossing friendship boundaries at times when we hung out. It hurt and I was surprised but i respected her decision and we decided to end our close friendship. However after a couple of months she contacted again via emails and texts so we became friends again in 2018.
When we both returned to our home country and workplace last year 2019, somehow we managed to get close again. Going on lunch dates, hanging out at gym and hiking, clubbing etc. Basically to way things were before. This is whilst we were still seeing other people. And honestly this did raise a few eyebrows with the people we were seeing. Then COVID happened and we slowly drifted apart and we didnt hang out as much. I didnt really mind until this week when I heard she was very serious with her partner and living together. I felt disappointed she didnt tell me. But honestly it was jealousy and desperation that maybe I was gonna lose her as a friend.
I then asked her multiple times to meet this week since I wanted to tell her something. But whenever we did meet I didnt tell her how I really felt about her. She had enough last night and demanded I tell what's up and accused me of being very 'weird' in a text. I wanted to talk over a call but she was with her kid at the time. So we talked over txt (which always sucks).
Instead of getting angry, I owned it and said yes, she should know I've always been weird. She laughed and we started bantering again through the evening. I said sorry for the drama and I kinda missed her and I feel like she has been avoiding me (since we still work together) and was sad she didnt let me know how serious her current relationship is. But mind you I never tell her my relationships either. I also didnt tell her my feelings for her but she definitely already knows.
She was kind and gentle and said it's all right. Things change but there was no word on ending our friendship but maybe we need to put space between us again. I agreed but realized this will be hard as hell coz we work together in the same building. So I threw her another txt this morning just to say 'thanks last night for the talk, I'm super embarrased with some of the stuff I sent and see u when I see u etc..'. she then replied I should discuss my issues with other friends too and admitted that recently I have been making her feel uncomfortable AGAIN as in 2 years ago but this time with a LOL attached. I joked about it too saying she makes me feel more uncomfortable.
And just as predicted, just this morning she walked past my work window with some coffees. Instead of ignoring her I just opened the window and shouted 'Hey.. I hate you... have a good day!' as our inside joke. She turned and laughed and asked if I wanted some cawf. She didn't look angry or sad at all which was a relief. I said no and left it at that.
I'm now thinking to myself... what do I do? Would it make her more uncomfortable if I start talking with her again as if nothing happened or give her her space until she wishes to talk again as what happened in 2018?
I feel bad, since the whole reason I never pushed the gas and took it to the next level months, or even years ago was because I was scared it would ruin our friendship... and now I feel even if I don't tell her.. it will still ruin our friendship.
TL;DR! - Longterm female friend says I made her feel uncomfortable the past week (i do have feelings for her.. but haven't said it). What do I do? Keep in contact or let her be. I dont want to lose her as a friend. But i also don't want to make things worse between us either. Thanks in advance.
submitted by tamasalamo to relationships [link] [comments]


2020.09.20 05:55 tamasalamo My (M/34) friend/colleague (F/39) of over a decade (whom I do have feelings for) said I made her feel uncomfortable this week. I dont want to lose her as a friend or workmate. Any advice in repairing the friendship?

Bit of a long one. Thoughts and help pls. I think i just crossed lines with a woman, friend and colleague whom I have known over a decade. We started university and even graduated together on the same day. We even started work in the same workplace and of course got very close at times.
However never went romantic apart from hugs, kisses and hours of personal talk. I also never escalated because we both seemed to be in serious relationships with other people at the same time. We are also busy bees at work and we also have children in their teens (not with each other of course).
I was in the 'brozone' definitely years ago. But plenty times almost crossing that close friends line the past 4 years... which was also when I developed feelings for her... and I suspect she the same (but I dont want to assume). But me being an idiot never took it to the next level incase it ruined things between us as friends.
2 years ago we went seperate ways in different countries for studies. This led to us having a short fallout. She said I had made her uncomfortable the past few months through emails and her then partner was also concerned about our friendship. She also felt I was crossing friendship boundaries at times when we hung out. It hurt and I was surprised but i respected her decision and we decided to end our close friendship. However after a couple of months she contacted again via emails and texts so we became friends again in 2018.
When we both returned to our home country and workplace last year 2019, somehow we managed to get close again. Going on lunch dates, hanging out at gym and hiking, clubbing etc. Basically to way things were before. This is whilst we were still seeing other people. And honestly this did raise a few eyebrows with the people we were seeing. Then COVID happened and we slowly drifted apart and we didnt hang out as much. I didnt really mind until this week when I heard she was very serious with her partner and living together. She hadn't even tell me. I felt disappointed she didnt tell me. But honestly it was jealousy and desperation that maybe I was gonna lose her as a friend.
I then asked her multiple times to meet this week since I wanted to tell her something. But whenever we did meet I didnt tell her how I really felt about her. She had enough last night and demanded I tell what's up and accused me of being very 'weird' in a text. I wanted to talk over a call but she was with her kid at the time. So we talked over txt (which always sucks).
Instead of getting angry, I owned it and said yes, she should know I've always been weird. She laughed and we started bantering again through the evening. I said sorry for the drama and I kinda missed her and I feel like she has been avoiding me (since we still work together) and was sad she didnt let me know how serious her current relationship is. But mind you I never tell her my relationships either. I also didnt tell her my feelings for her but she definitely already knows.
She was kind and gentle and said it's all right. Things change but there was no word on ending our friendship but maybe we need to put space between us again. I agreed but realized this will be hard as hell coz we work together in the same building. So I threw her another txt this morning just to say 'thanks last night for the talk, I'm super embarrased with some of the stuff I sent and see u when I see u etc..'. she then replied I should discuss my issues with other friends too and admitted that recently I have been making her feel uncomfortable AGAIN as in 2 years ago but this time with a LOL attached. I joked about it too saying she makes me feel more uncomfortable.
And just as predicted, just this morning she walked past my work window with some coffees. Instead of ignoring her I just opened the window and shouted 'Hey.. I hate you... have a good day!' as our inside joke. She turned and laughed and asked if I wanted some cawf. She didn't look angry or sad at all which was a relief. I said no and left it at that.
I'm now thinking to myself... what do I do? Would it make her more uncomfortable if I start talking with her again as if nothing happened or give her her space until she wishes to talk again as what happened in 2018?
I feel bad, since the whole reason I never pushed the gas and took it to the next level months, or even years ago was because I was scared it would ruin our friendship... and now I feel even if I don't tell her.. it will still ruin our friendship.
TLDR - Longterm female friend says I made her feel uncomfortable the past week (i do have feelings for her.. but haven't said it). What do I do? Keep in contact or let her be. I dont want to lose her as a friend. But i also don't want to make things worse between us either. Thanks in advance.
submitted by tamasalamo to askwomenadvice [link] [comments]


2020.09.20 04:50 MaryJaneIceLilElly83 New

Starting to believe I have Medium capabilities and powers for the first time tonight
I suppose this is an introduction post for me! Since I am brand spanking new!! Lol thank you very much for having me also!!
So I will get straight to the point I went out on a date with a very lovely and very chivalrous gentleman this evening we actually got home not in the evening.
To say the least it was far closer to the early morning LOL probably about two if not three or so in the morning to be exact, we started down my local street just gone down pretty much every day for my entire life I know the streets very well I saw it I can only describe as figures that look like the head on overly baggy street clothes on them ( well just wearing them nothing out of the ordinary at all!) the only thing out of the ordinary at all about them was they appear to me made or even sew-in together with shadows !!! Literal shadows cause it was VERY. Obviously black as the night ebony sky!, however the material was quite obviously sheer and see through !
The cloths had no real detail to them all but dual, causal , average .... maybe even sporty? Or Athletic ? ........... some I would see for only a second if not two and they moved SERIOUSLY FAST!!! Well and yet they kind of didn’t it was almost as though they were moving quite obviously beyond the speed of light but the appearance they gave in the room I was seeing them in looked as though they were casually walking either of the sidewalk or down it or down a city sidewalk for all I knew!? At a very casual leisurely pace was what the man surely of them were doing and those were the ones that I saw the most stuff they were a lot of them they only showed up in ones or twos and they usually showed up near trees would appear for maybe one or two seconds and then they would go away, there were a few that showed up in the middle of the street, That we’re obviously out jogging getting exercise some of it felt like I was watching I’m not home videos but like pre-recorded videos of a fairly good Lee populated area maybe sort of like how the Truman show was?
None of them had any defining details and stood out above any of the rest they all are pretty much the same and after probably about 10 minutes or so of watching them appear in various different places ice rink to realize they were not paying attention to me they were not looking at me so, when I noticed I was not being paid attention to I did feel a bit more but ease but not entirely!
Lmao To be very blunt about it my skin is still goosebumps and my hair is still on its hands I’m not even looking at it and I can tell that lol!!
But I do not feel as though I reacted this way because I felt is the way it was in danger.
I feel is though I reacted this way because it is a part of my brain that is opening up yet more channels two parts of my powers that I am struggling to be made aware of which I was told by my elders that this would occur as I grew more and allowed myself to grow more.
I was told never to doubt divisions that I saw whether they be from the Fay, spirits of any kind, Astro, elemental probably a lot of things I am not even remotely aware of because there’s too damn much out there LOL. And I cannot remember but I think I was also told to not show fear or if I did have fear to at least control it as much as possible and to hold on to your spirit guides when you feel afraid for their the ones that will help guide you and keep you safe and guide you back to the light!!🌞💫
Being a newbie most everything in my brain it has to do with other rooms I cannot say that I know for sure what I saw was what I think it was and of course if I was to talk to my very very conservative mother who is also very Christian upstairs she’s of course tell me that it was all in my head??!!!
I cannot in good conscience tell myself that or believe it🤐😱🤭 I might not know what it was that I saw I am personally journaling this down myself as “shadow figures “I am sure somebody here will tell me that they go buy some thing else I am most certainly sure somebody will cause there’s always somebody out there that’s smarter than me LOL until I find a book about it and read it myself lmao !!! Lol yes I am a bratty lil B🤬!
Smartbutt lol but I think my nerdy geeky brain tryin lamely to calm itself the hell down also lol I know deep in my heart my god that this was the first experience for myself as in awakening medium, starting her journey into her power or abilities I guess might be a better term to use.
And I know that I am shaky as a leaf and have goosebumps and my hair standing on age is because despite what anybody else thinks or tails me til the day I die I know that this is my first interactive well maybe not interactive but at least View into a realm of the paranormal ! I know what I saw was paranormal activity of some degree and I don’t even know that much about paranormal stuff and I didn’t feel like I had to my gut told me that it was going on at least that basic knowledge was made clear to me by not a spirit guide per se but just my inner being told me that! Do you even though I panicked pretty decently in the car with my very very decent and chivalrous brave Viking boy toy!.... mean Date lol... No I was very very glad I had somebody with me at all honesty to help me through the experience it didn’t even last that long but because it just happened out of nowhere it was frightening there is just no other word that I can think of other than scary and frightening because it was paranormal and otherworldly and I just knew that even the fact that I knew that information without a shadow of a doubt was pregame creepy to be honest ,honest!
Lol so here ya GO LOL ya gets a newly beginning awakening medium , named Sarah DeRosier, from Columbia Missouri in your field of people now! And I am a huge jumpy scared cat of things that go bump in the night !
Yet I also ironically ADORE Dark Fantasy vs Light Fantasy! Have always seen my self on days in some ways a Goth Chic, I love dark wave music , and trance ! I am played probably more hours of vampire the masquerade and werewolf the apocalypse then it’s probably healthy for a young person that was in my early 20s I spent more time playing those games that I went out to bars and drink which was probably a better choice for me in the long run anyway!
When it comes to scary movies I am more into the older stuff black-and-white 40s 50s stuff like that or things that have to do with history! I think it’s grizzly and it’s gruesome as Jack the ripper is it has absolutely fascinated me to know and since I was literally probably 14 years old which is pretty morbid for teen. So I really got into movies such as her from hell and we really really enjoyed loving Penny dreadful when it came out because of how it was all about classic horror stories like Frankenstein and all my lovely favorites!
I’m really into monster movies and creature from the Black Lagoon is my all-time favorite I actually think the Blair witch Project is hilarious and actually it’s fairly freaking creepy at times too! I mean let’s be fair the camera is going everywhere and it’s mostly like a terrible carnival ride that you feel like you’re just gonna puke everywhere from oneside finally stops. But for independent film of the 90s with what they did the storyline was actually well done the acting was horrible it might’ve been a little overdone at times but horror movies what are you expect?
I guess when it comes down to it what I like about scary movies when I actually do watch them and I’m very very choosy about the ones I watch specially nowadays because if I wanna watch something to be scared then I’ll watch it to be scared if there’s going involved I’m fine with that!
What I am not however fine with is this obsession we have found yourselves in as a nation with Goreporn! Films now! I have never seen one of these films that people classify as this I’ve heard people tell me about them I will not ever ever see one I refused you I work in Medicine I don’t actually work in Medicine right now that’s a lie I intend on working in Medicine I am planning on getting my CNA hopefully by the first of next year and intend on going to classes for pre-nursing!
So I am not planning on being a stranger to blood guts and gore but this lets just make it ALLL. About the GORE OR ALL THE TORTURING thing goes on in movies it’s just gross and not showing a good side of humanity to me! ..... well that is if we are even willing to claim any sense of humanity in the new found genres of GOREPORN AND TORTUREPORN too me personally their none to had or found! That is the work of evil enties ONLY! ( or should be ! Spiritually and realistically from my Humble Young Female Pagan/Wiccan point of view) but it’s only mine alone I tilt hope I do not offend , for I certainly don’t wish it too !!!
Just when I hear about , I guess Saw , and Hostel come first off to mind! Having not visual and physically seen them, but from my minds eye have heard the Synopsis’s.
There utterly NO scare or horror factors to these films at all! It’s basically showing human being at their worst doing their worst ! In as much greasily gore filled detail as they can cram into two to three hours they can! That’s pretty much it! Or sit back and let see how long it take you!? Or your date to puke up that $14 popcorn SHE JUST HADDDDDD TO GET TONIGHT !
No for me I like Horror! Monster! Thrillers! Old and some new as well I don’t judge all just some!!! I actually loved the hell out of the IT movie lol I own part 2 and still have yet to find bloody time sit down an see it yet !
Now you might find it odd I guess I wrap up with my darknesses of self lol and of all things opinions on horror films of yester year and present is! The reason, mentioned so was for mostly two reasons was all!
  1. Lol what I do end up reading or watching as far genre of Horror is concerned is the same most people have for something like getting on a rollercoaster, or getting in an airplane and going sky diving ! Of bungee rope jumping ! I get a kick of of having lol short bursts of adderaline rushes every now and again!! Lol not to mention, if ya have a man, or women lol yes lgbtq ppl I am gonna say you could be here too lol I mean I am a bisexual 36 myself here! Lol ! But ANYWAY!! Lol wrapping one or both ur hand about your partner , during a scary movie of any sort! Let’s them know they are loved, cared for!, safe and protected as long YOU!!! THEIR LOVER ARE THERE!!! Lol
And let me real again ppl if ANY OF US! Young , old,single or married lol whatever want some kissy time, alone time with that movie date! That’s watching Netflix with ya in the lounge! Or your gal ya just went steady with, that ya went to take to the drive to see in FULL COLOR THE BLOOB!!! In your dads priceless reliable cherry apple red corvette , lol that gonna Bomp on down the road to Blueberry Hill for kiss and steam of Windows after the film of course!
Lol well either gen either time period or gotta whee you wanted to get with whom you were with ! So in conclusion of all that I watch Horror films for their cinemagaphic enjoyment , to be scared lol for adrenaline Rush fun purposes lol, and having fun, Romantic times with your loved one or ones lol.
But if all about me a dick and touturiing someone, or all about gore and gots ans grossness and that’s it! That’s a genre but saying or horror!? Is absurd and insulting !! Personally!
I am fairly sure some you could care less about all this! I simply take note of how easily I scare , at movies , or haunted houses things like this..... mentally in my mind. Right now , because I will have to face a very even more reality is now starting for me! All the thing lol at least by faith! Lol I knew to myself personally ! To be real and true are! But now that world is letting me see it ! Observe it! And I know VERY WELL INDEED ! I am sure too probably find , I would assume a type of doorway next!?
Or if not a doorway?! That exists by its self maybe find a way to draw one up and find a way to enter SAFELY ( and I would think most importantly also be able to exit as well and go ALWAYS have access to these while in the realm of the Medium! Or paranormal whatever it be lol sorry,.....)
Cause my elder taught me away to enter into the Astral and I Think possibly Elemental realms this way! For the purposes of meeting / greeting and being taught by my own personal Spirit Guides! He also made the VERY IMPORTANT ENDING STATEMENT OF THAT LESSON BEING!
“do not stay in their world, very long it can do damage to your body and more importantly , your mind can be damaged by being HERE TOO LONG!!!” And I am going to make a safe guess that this .... rule should just be followed for any inner , realms, Multi-verse, dimensional travel , lol or Tardis, Enterprise Star Fleet Ship, or other worldly travel ships AT ALL!!! PERIOD!! AND YEAH!!! I DO THINK THEY IS EXISTS😱🤗🛸🚀🛰🛡⚔️🔮🔱
Stay in or around places human beings or well I guess for us specifically I would think! Specifically Living human beings! Should not stay in , or be close or near by too! For too very long!! Just not Healthy for us! In a long term use anyway! I mean all of we can use and learn from and grow from! But this is not our home! And OFTEN WE CAN OFTEN BE ANYTHING! PREY, VICTEM, .... LIKE I SAID ANYTHING COULD BE THERE !!! GOOD OR BAD!!! Which is why I am here looking for new friends guidance !!! Of any type !!! Books, other groups!
I am just scared and afraid right now! But also excited as well! And am trying lol as best I can lol not sure how it’s goin to be honest.......... lmao But I am tryin VERY, VERY, VERY HARD TO BE BRAVE OF THIS NEW DARK (Shadowy) Unknown!
submitted by MaryJaneIceLilElly83 to mediums2 [link] [comments]


2020.09.19 20:48 Jailor-Serry117 I just don’t know how to feel or who to talk to so I’m posting to the void cause it feels good

TLDR: My dad died, me and a long time friend started dating not long after even though I knew I wasn’t in a place to. She helped me through it all and was absolutely perfect to me all summer. Mid August came and she broke up with me and cut off contact for the most part. Drunk called me one night a week and a bit later asking to see me and how she missed me and made a mistake, I picked her up and took her back, things were amazing for a week, then she broke up with me again so fuck her but really fuck me cause I’m an idiot. In the wise words of J. Cole, fool me one time shame on you, fool my twice can’t put the blame on you
Okay so I don’t know how long this is gonna be because I’m not sure how much detail I’m going into, I’m gonna figure that out as I go. Also this is probably not very interesting, after reading it I feel I wrote a shitty script concept for a shitty teen love drama Netflix show lol. Anyway here it goes
So I(21M) was living in a major city a days drive away from my hometown a few weeks before the pandemic really hit and sports were cancelled, stuff locked down, etc, decided to move back to my small town cause I had a really well paying job offer mid February and was making horrible money in the city. Within two weeks everything’s locked down and people are getting laid off, luckily me and my dad(48) worked in an essential business together(he lowkey got me the job even though I was more than qualified and had experience in the field so thanks dad) Bit of backstory is my parents have had a rocky marriage as long as I can remember and I’ve heard them arguing while drunk that him and my mom(45) are only together cause me and my sister(18) are still living here and not in college, not getting into that shit show though
Anyway my parents separated 4 months before I moved back, they weren’t officially divorced but she lived in another house. I was paying rent and living with my father, and my sister was there as well so only my mom left the house. More backstory is my dad had a rough childhood, nothing like, extremely brutal but pretty bad for the time of him growing up still, just men don’t cry stuff, his father was occasionally abusive, he was Native American and got bullied and fought a lot growing up because of it, suffered from a handful of mental illnesses, never got fully evaluated and I’m far from an expert but from personal experience with friends, and very unnecessary amounts of research in the years prior because psychology genuinely interests me and I don’t sleep at night lol, he likely suffered from bipolar disorder, ptsd, depression, manic personality disorder, and potentially schizophrenia(according to him but it really seemed more like mood swings than voices in his head the way he explained it to me) due to his men don’t cry and suck it up buttercup style beliefs he refused help until the very end. Long story short he committed suicide in March, exactly 4 weeks after I got hired to the job. It was extremely hard on my family and me and I felt completely lost for a while.
Then summer came So my family owns a cottage not far from my city. I more or less grew up out there, spent every summer there since I was 5 and it is literally my piece of paradise and my dad worked his ass off to make it way better every summer and just the best place for our family to spend time together. Needless to say I have countless memories of him out there and it’s a very emotional place for me, but in a good way more than a bad way. Anyway I’ve never had a vehicle or been allowed at my cottage without my parents, until this summer. I inherited my fathers truck which I used to bring my closest friends to the cottage every weekend since my mom and sister both said they don’t really want to go at all so it’s more or less mine for the summer, 2 more of my friends just got vehicles so we would go with a crews of 10-12 sometimes and it was, all things considered, the best summer of my life I spent every day I wasn’t working at my job out there with 4-12 of my absolute best friends at my favourite place in the world. As depressed I was for the month following his death, once I got busy working full time again and spending every other minute sleeping or at my cottage I stopped feeling sad and felt happy again, I realize now I was just ignoring the feelings but I’ll get into that.
So me and this crew of friends have been extremely close for about 5 years now, some of us for over 10. The person of this group that matters though will be called A. Gorgeous girl, absolute sweetheart and genuinely very caring, but she has a very bad temper at times, probably has a drinking problem, never been in a real relationship due to unexplained commitment issues(it’s fine they’re unexplainable but this will be important later) and has had a really rough past so she deals with a handful of mental issues, due to this she has trouble holding a job and is still mostly dependent on her parents. Not judging my any means before my father died I lived with him just giving context. Me and A have quite a bit of history before this summer, since high school ended and more specifically my relationship, we have been hooking up on the low. Not really telling anyone and just being friends with benefits. It worked great because we only really ever seen each other once a month tops and we were going out with the whole group to a bar drinking and having a great night then sneaking off and hooking up. No feels, no complications, we never really talked one on one unless we were taking each others clothes off lol.
Back to this spring/summer(start-mid may for where I live is when the weather gets nice enough for the snow to melt and be worth going to a cottage) anyway I’m spending every weekend at the cottage with this crew of people, A included. Well what I’ve learned is if you hook up with someone you won’t catch feels, but if you hook up with someone and start spending 3/7 of your time with them and really really get along with them like no girl you’ve really met before, you’ll probably catch feels, who would have figured eh.
Long story short we’d spend our days drinking, exploring, wakeboarding, fishing, just doing fun summer stuff with our best friends, afternoons and nights were by the fire or playing card games laughing and talking and loving life with our favourite songs playing till way too late at night, eventually me and A would sneak away once everyone starting going to bed to do our usual dirty deed lol. But that quickly turned into going down to the dock, cuddling and looking at the stars till sunrise, talking about our hopes and dreams and fears and everything else. That somehow her calling me hubby and me calling her wifey, in front of everyone which was really different because we kept everything super lowkey before. Eventually she’d come sit next to me and just hold my hand in front of people and kiss me, like little pecks if I did something she found cute or whatever. We started openly being flirty to each other too, like really went from true friends with benefits to feeling like a relationship within two weeks.
I had no idea how to feel because I knew I wasn’t in the right mental place for a relationship due to my father passing, I hadn’t been in a relationship for 3 years prior to this, and I knew her past of commitment issues and how she never lasted more than 2-3 weeks in a relationship before breaking up with the guy because she just isn’t ready for a relationship. Despite all of this, I went against my better judgement and how I normally go about life and acted on how I felt rather than what I logically know. I started leaning into the feelings developing for her and thinking of ways to tell her how I felt and that we either need to stop what we’re doing all together before one of us gets hurt, or actually try to build something together.
Context before I continue is we spent every weekend for a month straight at my cottage and kept getting closer and closer. Eventually everyone decided we need to take a break fro 2 weekends because it’s super expensive and we are drinking wayyyy too much lol. So the two weekends we spent away from the cottage she hit me up one night asking me to come out with her, I go and have a great night, she comes back to my place and spends the night(I’m still living at the house I lived in with my dad at this point except my mom now owns it and me and 3 of the best friends who come to my cottage are my room mates) Well as it turns out this is the first time she’s slept in the same bed as me that wasn’t at the cottage, besides only so many beds and if we are already hooking up it makes sense to sleep with me in a king size bed with A/C instead of going to a guest cottage on an air matress in boiling summer weather, or so that’s what we told our friends.
So this is the first time she slept in the same bed as me that she didn’t have any other reason than to be with me, that thought stayed with me for a while cause I was still trying to figure out if this girl felt the same way for me as I do for her, or if this was just her having fun and messing around. I quickly found out my answer because we spent all day in bed the next day cuddling, making out, watching movies talking about anything and everything, and some of the most amazing sex of our lives, she said it first but I agree completely(sorry roommates) she spent the next two nights with me as well.(sorry roommates) After that weekend she spent with me literally not leaving my bed except to shower(together) and make food, she spent the next weekend doing the same thing.(sorry roommates)
After the two amazing weekends spent together the whole crew decided its cottage time, it’s now mid June. First night at the cottage and we sneak away as per usual, as we’re watching the stars she says she has to tell me something. She says how she has feelings for me and wants more from me than just friends, I’m thinking this is amazing because I was literally going to say the same thing that night! We talk a bit and decide we are going to start seeing each other, take things slow because we both have committed issues(I do as well, or did for the 3 years of college up until I starting falling for A) I just couldn’t get attached to girls in a meaningful way, or want to spend any extended amount of time with a girl up until her, I honestly a complete fuck boy so I kinda get her commitment issues. She was sort of for the streets though(google it if you don’t know) she just didn’t sleep around or actually do sexual shit, just make out for the most part Anyway we decide take it slow cause we both aren’t exactly in the best place for this but really like each other, love spending time together and haven’t felt quite like this about anyone before. We spend a couple months having the best time ever, honestly didn’t think of my father much at all(I realize I was burying it now) but even when I was in my feels about him, she was there with me holding me making me feel like it’s all gonna be okay. We made inside references that I don’t wanna go into but I will never forget and truly changed my views on the world, she just made me feel amazing in every way I can think of and was perfect, and as much as I was going through shit, she had issues she was dealing with and I was strong for her when needed, it was and amazing relationship we were sharing and I haven’t felt like that before I truly can’t describe it.
Fast forward mid August and we spent the last weekend we ever would together at the cottage.. something felt off that weekend and I wasn’t sure what but she was different with me, it came out of nowhere and I didn’t know what was wrong, maybe just going through something? Everything else about the weekend was as normal as any other, except she was very distant and almost seemed to avoid me, only came to bed after I was asleep and wouldn’t wake me up when she got up anymore, just left the room and went about tanning or whatever she wanted to do that morning. Over the following week things got much worse, she blew of a dinner date we had planned and didn’t answer until the next day, barely answered me and when she did it was hours after the fact, just cold and distant. Then Thursday night came and she drunk called me at 1am asking to come over, how she’s sorry she’s been so cold and wants to see me(I have fridays-Sunday’s off)
Okay perfect I thought and I go pick her up as I was sober, we have a few drinks together watching a movie then pass out, we spend the next morning making breakfast and everything felt normal again, she invites me to a mutual friends party the next day. Skip to the party and she doesn’t come say hi when I get there, she’s talking to a mutual guy friend of ours all night, not in a flirty way at all just really avoiding me and talking to him or her girlfriends. I’m pretty upset by this and decide but decide to invite her over cause it was 2am and I wanted to go home and was wondering if she wanted to do the same. She said no she can’t sleep over cause she has to babysit her nephew the next day. I go to kiss her goodbye but she hugs me and kisses my hand.
That’s never happened to me before and I was sort of shocked, I went home upset, drunk as hell and confused, woke up the next day to see Snapchat stories of her drinking until 7am, she then didn’t answer my text asking about our dinner plans that night until 830 Sunday night(the night after the party) I’m pissed because she clearly lied to me about baby sitting and was sort of a dick to me all night, I wasn’t as mad as I was hurt honestly and just wondering what I did wrong. I ask her about last night and she says she wants us to just be friends and she’s sorry.
At this point I’m just sad and confused and asking what I did if anything and if we can work this out but she’s adamant and only telling me it’s cause she thought she was ready for a relationship but she realized last weekend she isnt, nothing set it off just that she isn’t ready.
I can’t really argue this or work with this so I just accept it, whatever if she aren’t ready I can’t make her ready. I spend the next 4 days extremely upset, hurt, frustrated, confused, just feeling like shit about her leaving me essentially because like I said, I didn’t want a relationship before she told me she wanted to try things with me, I would have been fine just not hooking up anymore and staying friends from the beginning but at this point I’m starting to kinda fall for her and it sucks it took her this long to realize she doesn’t really want me. and on top of that I was starting to feel all the things she helped me cover up about my dad, I say cover up, she helped me deal with them in healthy ways. However, with all the bad emotions I’m feeling about her, and all the time I spend mostly not even thinking of my dad, everything is just rushing back to me and I’m completely overwhelmed.
She texts me after my night shift Thursday night, we’ll technically 330am Friday saying she fucked up and missed me and wants to see me Against my better judgement I pick her up and we talk things out and decide to try again, we spent that whole weekend together just like the first two, didn’t leave the bed and just loved every second of each others company, the next weekend she took my to her hometown to meet her family(I’m the first guy who’s ever met her parents let alone grandparents, brothers, uncles, etc.) This was really special to me and I thought she really did change her mind, I was extremely sceptical at first and nervous to get back with her but I did because she seemed truly genuine and apologetic for hurting me.
Fast forward one week after meeting her parents and she dumped me again for the same reason
It’s been one week since she dumped me the second time and she drunk called me last night while I was asleep, no text or voicemail, I asked her what it was about and she said she remembers calling me but not what she wanted to say
I’ve been really sad and upset this past week and seeing she name pop up on my phone made my heart skip a beat, I was so so so happy even though I was extremely mad at her to.
I know I shouldn’t get back with her because I’d just be getting hurt again most likely, but the way she made me feel I can’t describe, I’ve never felt it before and I want it back, I want her back
Been having to stop myself from telling her how much I want her back every night and it just sucks.
All the feelings of my dad keep rushing back, and they’re piling onto my feelings of pain and betrayal by her and it all just fucking sucks,
that’s it, idk how this story ends cause we barely spoke today even about her drunk call, and I’m probably going to drunk text her in the next hour or two if I keep drinking how I am, I’ll update y’all if it’s interesting I guess
Aside from my dad sometimes I feel like I cause my own problems, you’d think this realization would cause me to make smarter decisions but that’s rarely the case, wish me luck
If you’re still reading this you’re either an insomniac like me and have way to much spare time or you’re quarantined and have way to much spare time, either way thanks for taking time to read this. Not sure what I’m expecting I just wanted to finally say all of this at once somewhere to someone
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2020.09.19 18:59 juliasric Collective shell break?

Hi. I'm from Brasil, so first of all, sorry for my English.
I'm 19, and I've been borned and raised mormon, my parents got baptized when they were teens. I always lived the principles of this church with all of my heart, I didn't know nothing else but this. Until I started to question some doctrines, and I asked my dad about them, who said that God knows everything and we will understand in the next life.
I started to feel lost, then I did some research and immediately found the CES Letter. It opened my eyes. I talked about it with my boyfriend, who got baptized 2 years ago because of me, and he felt the same way I did. I sent to a friend, who is also from church, and she agreed with us, but didn't got much involved because she is dating a missionary and he told her to stop looking at it because it's from the devil. (lol.)
I started to notice that a lot of my close friends from church were a little distant, so I asked them and it turns out that everyone were feeling like this.
I really need someone to talk and I found here. I hope you guys can help me understand what is happening and why I'm feeling like this.
Thank you. <3
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2020.09.19 12:51 TheDarthSphincter 30 [M4F] USA, Michigan Does anyone want a Jack-of-all-trades nerdy guy?

So I'll just say this is basically my hail mary pass at "online dating" before calling it quits for awhile. I do sincerely hope to find the love of my life, more than anything in the world! But I've just had such bad luck with various dating apps I don't hold out much hope (ask about some of my funny stories over a date if we get that far 😉😂)
A little about me. I'm 6'2, brunette with blue eyes. I know how to do my own laundry, fold my clothes (properly), and even iron them. I put the toilet seat down EVERY time without fail. I enjoy cooking, and as weird as it sounds I enjoy cleaning because I like seeing things organized, neat, and clean. I'm a bit on the skinny side, but that's not my fault! I've had some underlying health issues that are being treated and I'm slowly getting my weight and energy back up. If you are curious, then feel free to ask. I'm an open book.
I've done nearly every job under the son. I "owned" my own handyman business that I basically just helped friends/family and their friends with various odd jobs around their houses while I was in college. I've been an Uber driver, served in the Army (91B), trained as an EMT/Firefighter, worked as a temp on a couple construction sites. Worked various food industry jobs as a teen. I learned some basic CAD design at one job, worked my way up to managing a UPS franchise, operated a forklift and worked presses for a couple different manufacturing companies. I've also worked security for a contract agency. There isn't really much I haven't done lol. Now I'm happily nestled into my current job working quality control for a tech company where I love working. Good coworkers, good benefits, decent PTO. Only thing I'd change is my pay, but who wouldn't? 😂
Now for more about me, and less about my work history lol. I'm a fairly typical nerdy/geeky kind of guy. I love Marvel movies and comics (Spider-man will always be my favorite). I am a fairly avid anime watcher, and I enjoy reading. Probably an almost unhealthy amount of reading lol. I typically read the equivalent of nearly the entire LOTR trilogy every week. Almost all fanfiction of other books, movies, comics, or anime I've come across lol. Fanfiction.net is both my blessing and curse 😂. Star Wars and Harry Potter are my other big nerd loves in life. I've won some Harry Potter bar trivia before and one of my coworkers and I often pretend to be Wookies and "speak" Shyriiwook. (If you know what that is, move to the front of the line!)
Onto the relationship and what I hope to find. I actually read the book "5 Love Languages" and took the quiz at the back instead of online. My two biggest love languages with only 1 point difference were physical touch, and acts of service which I can totally agree with. I absolutely LOVE physical intimacy and shows of affection in a relationship. Those mean so much more than hearing the words (though that's still nice). So for me, someone willing to show lots of physical affection is a must. To be fair, I love giving physical affection as much as receiving it so you should probably be ready for lots of random hugs from behind, little tickles, playing footsie under the table, and linking arms while we walk.
I'm also a rather open person in the bedroom and have already explored a fair bit. I'd like to find someone who is at least open to exploring in the bedroom together, if you haven't already 😈.
Last but not least, pictures are available upon request!
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2020.09.19 08:51 Jailor-Serry117 I just don’t know how to feel or who to talk to so I’m posting to the void cause it feels good

TLDR: My dad died, me and a long time friend started dating not long after even though I knew I wasn’t in a place to. She helped me through it all and was absolutely perfect to me all summer. Mid August came and she broke up with me and cut off contact for the most part. Drunk called me one night a week and a bit later asking to see me and how she missed me and made a mistake, I picked her up and took her back, things were amazing for a week, then she broke up with me again so fuck her but really fuck me cause I’m an idiot. In the wise words of J. Cole, fool me one time shame on you, fool my twice can’t put the blame on you
Okay so I don’t know how long this is gonna be because I’m not sure how much detail I’m going into, I’m gonna figure that out as I go. Also this is probably not very interesting, after reading it I feel I wrote a shitty script concept for a shitty teen love drama Netflix show lol. Anyway here it goes
So I(21M) was living in a major city a days drive away from my hometown a few weeks before the pandemic really hit and sports were cancelled, stuff locked down, etc, decided to move back to my small town cause I had a really well paying job offer mid February and was making horrible money in the city. Within two weeks everything’s locked down and people are getting laid off, luckily me and my dad(48) worked in an essential business together(he lowkey got me the job even though I was more than qualified and had experience in the field so thanks dad) Bit of backstory is my parents have had a rocky marriage as long as I can remember and I’ve heard them arguing while drunk that him and my mom(45) are only together cause me and my sister(18) are still living here and not in college, not getting into that shit show though
Anyway my parents separated 4 months before I moved back, they weren’t officially divorced but she lived in another house. I was paying rent and living with my father, and my sister was there as well so only my mom left the house. More backstory is my dad had a rough childhood, nothing like, extremely brutal but pretty bad for the time of him growing up still, just men don’t cry stuff, his father was occasionally abusive, he was Native American and got bullied and fought a lot growing up because of it, suffered from a handful of mental illnesses, never got fully evaluated and I’m far from an expert but from personal experience with friends, and very unnecessary amounts of research in the years prior because psychology genuinely interests me and I don’t sleep at night lol, he likely suffered from bipolar disorder, ptsd, depression, manic personality disorder, and potentially schizophrenia(according to him but it really seemed more like mood swings than voices in his head the way he explained it to me) due to his men don’t cry and suck it up buttercup style beliefs he refused help until the very end. Long story short he committed suicide in March, exactly 4 weeks after I got hired to the job. It was extremely hard on my family and me and I felt completely lost for a while.
Then summer came So my family owns a cottage not far from my city. I more or less grew up out there, spent every summer there since I was 5 and it is literally my piece of paradise and my dad worked his ass off to make it way better every summer and just the best place for our family to spend time together. Needless to say I have countless memories of him out there and it’s a very emotional place for me, but in a good way more than a bad way. Anyway I’ve never had a vehicle or been allowed at my cottage without my parents, until this summer. I inherited my fathers truck which I used to bring my closest friends to the cottage every weekend since my mom and sister both said they don’t really want to go at all so it’s more or less mine for the summer, 2 more of my friends just got vehicles so we would go with a crews of 10-12 sometimes and it was, all things considered, the best summer of my life I spent every day I wasn’t working at my job out there with 4-12 of my absolute best friends at my favourite place in the world. As depressed I was for the month following his death, once I got busy working full time again and spending every other minute sleeping or at my cottage I stopped feeling sad and felt happy again, I realize now I was just ignoring the feelings but I’ll get into that.
So me and this crew of friends have been extremely close for about 5 years now, some of us for over 10. The person of this group that matters though will be called A. Gorgeous girl, absolute sweetheart and genuinely very caring, but she has a very bad temper at times, probably has a drinking problem, never been in a real relationship due to unexplained commitment issues(it’s fine they’re unexplainable but this will be important later) and has had a really rough past so she deals with a handful of mental issues, due to this she has trouble holding a job and is still mostly dependent on her parents. Not judging my any means before my father died I lived with him just giving context. Me and A have quite a bit of history before this summer, since high school ended and more specifically my relationship, we have been hooking up on the low. Not really telling anyone and just being friends with benefits. It worked great because we only really ever seen each other once a month tops and we were going out with the whole group to a bar drinking and having a great night then sneaking off and hooking up. No feels, no complications, we never really talked one on one unless we were taking each others clothes off lol.
Back to this spring/summer(start-mid may for where I live is when the weather gets nice enough for the snow to melt and be worth going to a cottage) anyway I’m spending every weekend at the cottage with this crew of people, A included. Well what I’ve learned is if you hook up with someone you won’t catch feels, but if you hook up with someone and start spending 3/7 of your time with them and really really get along with them like no girl you’ve really met before, you’ll probably catch feels, who would have figured eh.
Long story short we’d spend our days drinking, exploring, wakeboarding, fishing, just doing fun summer stuff with our best friends, afternoons and nights were by the fire or playing card games laughing and talking and loving life with our favourite songs playing till way too late at night, eventually me and A would sneak away once everyone starting going to bed to do our usual dirty deed lol. But that quickly turned into going down to the dock, cuddling and looking at the stars till sunrise, talking about our hopes and dreams and fears and everything else. That somehow her calling me hubby and me calling her wifey, in front of everyone which was really different because we kept everything super lowkey before. Eventually she’d come sit next to me and just hold my hand in front of people and kiss me, like little pecks if I did something she found cute or whatever. We started openly being flirty to each other too, like really went from true friends with benefits to feeling like a relationship within two weeks.
I had no idea how to feel because I knew I wasn’t in the right mental place for a relationship due to my father passing, I hadn’t been in a relationship for 3 years prior to this, and I knew her past of commitment issues and how she never lasted more than 2-3 weeks in a relationship before breaking up with the guy because she just isn’t ready for a relationship. Despite all of this, I went against my better judgement and how I normally go about life and acted on how I felt rather than what I logically know. I started leaning into the feelings developing for her and thinking of ways to tell her how I felt and that we either need to stop what we’re doing all together before one of us gets hurt, or actually try to build something together.
Context before I continue is we spent every weekend for a month straight at my cottage and kept getting closer and closer. Eventually everyone decided we need to take a break fro 2 weekends because it’s super expensive and we are drinking wayyyy too much lol. So the two weekends we spent away from the cottage she hit me up one night asking me to come out with her, I go and have a great night, she comes back to my place and spends the night(I’m still living at the house I lived in with my dad at this point except my mom now owns it and me and 3 of the best friends who come to my cottage are my room mates) Well as it turns out this is the first time she’s slept in the same bed as me that wasn’t at the cottage, besides only so many beds and if we are already hooking up it makes sense to sleep with me in a king size bed with A/C instead of going to a guest cottage on an air matress in boiling summer weather, or so that’s what we told our friends.
So this is the first time she slept in the same bed as me that she didn’t have any other reason than to be with me, that thought stayed with me for a while cause I was still trying to figure out if this girl felt the same way for me as I do for her, or if this was just her having fun and messing around. I quickly found out my answer because we spent all day in bed the next day cuddling, making out, watching movies talking about anything and everything, and some of the most amazing sex of our lives, she said it first but I agree completely(sorry roommates) she spent the next two nights with me as well.(sorry roommates) After that weekend she spent with me literally not leaving my bed except to shower(together) and make food, she spent the next weekend doing the same thing.(sorry roommates)
After the two amazing weekends spent together the whole crew decided its cottage time, it’s now mid June. First night at the cottage and we sneak away as per usual, as we’re watching the stars she says she has to tell me something. She says how she has feelings for me and wants more from me than just friends, I’m thinking this is amazing because I was literally going to say the same thing that night! We talk a bit and decide we are going to start seeing each other, take things slow because we both have committed issues(I do as well, or did for the 3 years of college up until I starting falling for A) I just couldn’t get attached to girls in a meaningful way, or want to spend any extended amount of time with a girl up until her, I honestly a complete fuck boy so I kinda get her commitment issues. She was sort of for the streets though(google it if you don’t know) she just didn’t sleep around or actually do sexual shit, just make out for the most part Anyway we decide take it slow cause we both aren’t exactly in the best place for this but really like each other, love spending time together and haven’t felt quite like this about anyone before. We spend a couple months having the best time ever, honestly didn’t think of my father much at all(I realize I was burying it now) but even when I was in my feels about him, she was there with me holding me making me feel like it’s all gonna be okay. We made inside references that I don’t wanna go into but I will never forget and truly changed my views on the world, she just made me feel amazing in every way I can think of and was perfect, and as much as I was going through shit, she had issues she was dealing with and I was strong for her when needed, it was and amazing relationship we were sharing and I haven’t felt like that before I truly can’t describe it.
Fast forward mid August and we spent the last weekend we ever would together at the cottage.. something felt off that weekend and I wasn’t sure what but she was different with me, it came out of nowhere and I didn’t know what was wrong, maybe just going through something? Everything else about the weekend was as normal as any other, except she was very distant and almost seemed to avoid me, only came to bed after I was asleep and wouldn’t wake me up when she got up anymore, just left the room and went about tanning or whatever she wanted to do that morning. Over the following week things got much worse, she blew of a dinner date we had planned and didn’t answer until the next day, barely answered me and when she did it was hours after the fact, just cold and distant. Then Thursday night came and she drunk called me at 1am asking to come over, how she’s sorry she’s been so cold and wants to see me(I have fridays-Sunday’s off)
Okay perfect I thought and I go pick her up as I was sober, we have a few drinks together watching a movie then pass out, we spend the next morning making breakfast and everything felt normal again, she invites me to a mutual friends party the next day. Skip to the party and she doesn’t come say hi when I get there, she’s talking to a mutual guy friend of ours all night, not in a flirty way at all just really avoiding me and talking to him or her girlfriends. I’m pretty upset by this and decide but decide to invite her over cause it was 2am and I wanted to go home and was wondering if she wanted to do the same. She said no she can’t sleep over cause she has to babysit her nephew the next day. I go to kiss her goodbye but she hugs me and kisses my hand.
That’s never happened to me before and I was sort of shocked, I went home upset, drunk as hell and confused, woke up the next day to see Snapchat stories of her drinking until 7am, she then didn’t answer my text asking about our dinner plans that night until 830 Sunday night(the night after the party) I’m pissed because she clearly lied to me about baby sitting and was sort of a dick to me all night, I wasn’t as mad as I was hurt honestly and just wondering what I did wrong. I ask her about last night and she says she wants us to just be friends and she’s sorry.
At this point I’m just sad and confused and asking what I did if anything and if we can work this out but she’s adamant and only telling me it’s cause she thought she was ready for a relationship but she realized last weekend she isnt, nothing set it off just that she isn’t ready.
I can’t really argue this or work with this so I just accept it, whatever if she aren’t ready I can’t make her ready. I spend the next 4 days extremely upset, hurt, frustrated, confused, just feeling like shit about her leaving me essentially because like I said, I didn’t want a relationship before she told me she wanted to try things with me, I would have been fine just not hooking up anymore and staying friends from the beginning but at this point I’m starting to kinda fall for her and it sucks it took her this long to realize she doesn’t really want me. and on top of that I was starting to feel all the things she helped me cover up about my dad, I say cover up, she helped me deal with them in healthy ways. However, with all the bad emotions I’m feeling about her, and all the time I spend mostly not even thinking of my dad, everything is just rushing back to me and I’m completely overwhelmed.
She texts me after my night shift Thursday night, we’ll technically 330am Friday saying she fucked up and missed me and wants to see me Against my better judgement I pick her up and we talk things out and decide to try again, we spent that whole weekend together just like the first two, didn’t leave the bed and just loved every second of each others company, the next weekend she took my to her hometown to meet her family(I’m the first guy who’s ever met her parents let alone grandparents, brothers, uncles, etc.) This was really special to me and I thought she really did change her mind, I was extremely sceptical at first and nervous to get back with her but I did because she seemed truly genuine and apologetic for hurting me.
Fast forward one week after meeting her parents and she dumped me again for the same reason
It’s been one week since she dumped me the second time and she drunk called me last night while I was asleep, no text or voicemail, I asked her what it was about and she said she remembers calling me but not what she wanted to say
I’ve been really sad and upset this past week and seeing she name pop up on my phone made my heart skip a beat, I was so so so happy even though I was extremely mad at her to.
I know I shouldn’t get back with her because I’d just be getting hurt again most likely, but the way she made me feel I can’t describe, I’ve never felt it before and I want it back, I want her back
Been having to stop myself from telling her how much I want her back every night and it just sucks.
All the feelings of my dad keep rushing back, and they’re piling onto my feelings of pain and betrayal by her and it all just fucking sucks,
that’s it, idk how this story ends cause we barely spoke today even about her drunk call, and I’m probably going to drunk text her in the next hour or two if I keep drinking how I am, I’ll update y’all if it’s interesting I guess
Aside from my dad sometimes I feel like I cause my own problems, you’d think this realization would cause me to make smarter decisions but that’s rarely the case, wish me luck
If you’re still reading this you’re either an insomniac like me and have way to much spare time or you’re quarantined and have way to much spare time, either way thanks for taking time to read this. Not sure what I’m expecting I just wanted to finally say all of this at once somewhere to someone
submitted by Jailor-Serry117 to offmychest [link] [comments]


2020.09.18 20:48 phantorgasmic [LONG AF] My (25F) boyfriend (27M) was diagnosed w/ Bipolar 2 earlier this year & after trying out 2 different medications for a few months, has proceeded to discontinue use claiming he doesn’t trust his original diagnosis... He also drinks every single day.

I want to start off this post by saying please don’t tell me to leave this boy. I love this boy. I am crying right now because I can already picture what the responses are going to be here... but please, I beg of you, please just lay out all of the options I have at my disposal before recommending I leave him.
My boyfriend (27M) and I (25F) have known each other since I was just 18-19 years old, but we lost touch for about 5 years until around November of last year when I moved into him and his brother’s apartment. We caught up, started having a ~thing~ since we apparently had been mutually crushing on one another since we met, and we began officially dating in January of this year (2020).
I have always been somewhat aware of his drinking habits, however I did not know the full extent of them until moving in with him. He primarily drinks (cheap) beer, but he will go on long stints where he gets super “into” one type or brand of alcohol. Like for example, we got our own apartment a few months ago (June, and because his lease was up and it just felt like the natural next step in our relationship), and after just 2 weeks in the apartment, there was already collection of 3 or 4 empty (gallon-ish? sized) bottles Of Parrot Bay gin on the floor beside our garbage/recycle bin. Also, our recycle bin (all cans, no cardboard) fills up twice as fast as our garbage bin does.
I think it’s important that I mention that this is not my first rodeo at all. My mother began drinking very heavily when I was 12 years old. This was after a perfect storm that occurred in her life and in our family life in which she was laid off from a job she absolutely loved, my sister decided to stay behind and basically emancipate herself, because my parents had decided to move to Washington from Oregon where we were currently living and she was about to graduate, and after moving my dad started a night-shift job at Microsoft, and the people at my mother’s new job being extremely unkind and gossipy c*nts. Hope I can say that here, sorry if I fucked up.
Anyway, this all culminated in my 12 year old self basically being indoctrinated into what has no doubt morphed into a now lifetime position as a parentified child and ACOA, or adult child of an alcoholic. Don’t know if it’s obvious, but I did a lot of reading about this stuff, especially after my mom passed away in 2018 (not from alcoholism, but was sudden to say the least).
BUT I DIGRESS... from the age of 12 and onward, I was the one stopping my mom from walking barefoot to the store to get alcohol because I had hidden her car keys. My dad and I have seen my mom at her absolute worst, and despite this, I still would 100% sell every one of my limbs on the black market and shave my head if it meant I could bring her back to life; lol moving on...
Basically... I know that I have developed a tendency to perhaps not happily, but definitely comfortably take on the role that I had become accustomed to as a pre-teen. With my history of never putting up with my mom’s shit while also still remaining compassionate about it... Being the only one in our family who never guilt tripped her about it... Being the only one who enthusiastically would attend meetings with my mom and would even volunteer to read from the big book at said meetings, as well as help her cook food for the birthday potluck every month... idk... I thought that because my mom told me she couldn’t have done it without my support since my dad never really cared about it her much and mostly just made her feel bad about it all the time... I thought this meant that I was equipped to help someone like my boyfriend. And I’m still not convinced that I am not equipped to help, which is why I am here.
Also side note, I don’t drink. Like at all. It’s not fun and tastes like shit.
Anyway, my boyfriend has been drinking since he was 17. He is not violent, verbally or physically, but he does get stupid drunk and plays video games until 3-6am most nights, and that’s if he sleeps at all. He has admitted to me that he uses it as a coping mechanism, and says it’s partially out of boredom and because it’s “something to do”. He also cannot sleep when his mind is racing due to anxiety. I believe this is a larger portion of why he drinks, because he typically drinks until he curbs the fuck out and looks (god I love him so much but yeah) not at all cute and I seriously cannot wake him the fuck up when he gets like that. At least not all the way, since I lose patience and give up at around the point when he is about a quarter to halfway conscious.
He has not worked since August 9th. Previously he was working from home for a call center and from time to time yes, I have found cans of beer in his office (he’s never in there unless working). The reason he hasn’t worked since 8/9 is, or at least was at first, because he was hungover from his brother’s birthday party the day before. But, like with most addicts, a hangover day turned into two hangover days turned into “I just told my supervisor I need a week off” turned into “two weeks off” turned into me asking repeatedly how his supervisor was even allowing this bullshit to which he would always respond with placation of my concerns and trickle-truthing that, due to my current position as the unemployed partner collecting UI benefits, I felt I had no right to question him on.
I finally dug deeper and told him to quit fucking placating me with bullshit excuses and he admitted to me that the reason he hasn’t returned to work yet is that in order to keep his job, he said his supervisor advised him to open an FMLA claim (sure he did, because your employer wants to pay for your time off being ‘hungover’ babe are you forreal right now???). The requirement for the FMLA claim is that he seek a teletherapist for his ‘depression’. I put depression in quotes not because I don’t believe he is depressed. He 1000% is, but it’s not just depression that kept him out of work for those two weeks that forced him to open an FMLA claim. It’s literally his unmedicated BP2 and unmitigated consumption of alcohol. Well he finally got assigned a teletherapist through work (for free) last week. And just had the second weekly meeting with the guy a couple days ago.
He had to turn in paperwork that him and the therapist filled out and he claims that he will now be back payed for allllllll the shifts he has missed for the last 5, now going on 6 weeks.
I am not stupid. I researched the outcomes and decisions on FMLA claims similar to his since the day he finally admitted to me that that’s what was going on. I am 98% certain that he will not have all of the absences (prior to beginning to speak to a therapist) covered, and as a result, he will subsequently be fired.
I make $300 a week on unemployment and I have been busting my ass to not just find a job, but to find a job well-paying enough so that if when that happens, I will be able to afford our rent on my just salary alone. My name and his name are both on this lease. I already have an eviction on my record from when I was 19 freaking years old and it’s honestly a miracle we got this place at all, especially for the price we got it for.
He was prescribed Lamotrigine and Xanax, and that did okay for a while after the initial sickness wore off, but then he got the dreaded rash and had to discontinue Lamotrigine and was instead put on Seroquel which turned him into a zombie who could hardly function. He slept so fucking much. So he just kinda stopped taking it and had convinced me this was the right move to make, because he literally couldn’t wake up for work or for plans he had made sometimes. His drinking slowed during the few months he was taking these meds, but of course picked up again when he discontinued them and worsened after we moved into our own place.
I know this seems like an abrupt end to what was apparently my fucking autobiography, but just...
Please tell me what to do, please help me I want to cry. I just want him to start taking his medication again, but he says the guy who diagnosed him has been his family doctor forever that he is the same guy who threw Adderall at him when he was just a troubled child.
He keeps telling me this family doctor is script happy and will throw pills at any one who will believe the diagnosis he gives them. I’m worried his teletherapist is just that, a therapist, and doesn’t have the ability to prescribe him with the medication I truly think he needs. What in the hell do I do?
If you read this far, I’ll send you $1 on PayPal forreal just please help.
TL;DR- My boyfriend was diagnosed with Bipolar 2 earlier this year & after trying out 2 different medications for a few months, he has proceeded to discontinue use altogether claiming he doesn’t have BP2. He also drinks every single day.
submitted by phantorgasmic to BipolarSOs [link] [comments]


2020.09.18 20:19 phantorgasmic [LONG AF] My (25F) boyfriend (27M) was diagnosed w/ Bipolar 2 earlier this year & after trying out 2 different medications for a few months, has proceeded to discontinue use claiming he doesn’t trust his original diagnosis... He also drinks every single day.

I want to start off this post by saying please don’t tell me to leave this boy. I love this boy. I am crying right now because I can already picture what the responses are going to be here... but please, I beg of you, please just lay out all of the options I have at my disposal before recommending I leave him.
My boyfriend (27M) and I (25F) have known each other since I was just 18-19 years old, but we lost touch for about 5 years until around November of last year when I moved into him and his brother’s apartment. We caught up, started having a ~thing~ since we apparently had been mutually crushing on one another since we met, and we began officially dating in January of this year (2020).
I have always been somewhat aware of his drinking habits, however I did not know the full extent of them until moving in with him. He primarily drinks (cheap) beer, but he will go on long stints where he gets super “into” one type or brand of alcohol. Like for example, we got our own apartment a few months ago (June, and because his lease was up and it just felt like the natural next step in our relationship), and after just 2 weeks in the apartment, there was already collection of 3 or 4 empty (gallon-ish? sized) bottles Of Parrot Bay gin on the floor beside our garbage/recycle bin. Also, our recycle bin (all cans, no cardboard) fills up twice as fast as our garbage bin does.
I think it’s important that I mention that this is not my first rodeo at all. My mother began drinking very heavily when I was 12 years old. This was after a perfect storm that occurred in her life and in our family life in which she was laid off from a job she absolutely loved, my sister decided to stay behind and basically emancipate herself, because my parents had decided to move to Washington from Oregon where we were currently living and she was about to graduate, and after moving my dad started a night-shift job at Microsoft, and the people at my mother’s new job being extremely unkind and gossipy c*nts. Hope I can say that here, sorry if I fucked up.
Anyway, this all culminated in my 12 year old self basically being indoctrinated into what has no doubt morphed into a now lifetime position as a parentified child and ACOA, or adult child of an alcoholic. Don’t know if it’s obvious, but I did a lot of reading about this stuff, especially after my mom passed away in 2018 (not from alcoholism, but was sudden to say the least).
BUT I DIGRESS... from the age of 12 and onward, I was the one stopping my mom from walking barefoot to the store to get alcohol because I had hidden her car keys. My dad and I have seen my mom at her absolute worst, and despite this, I still would 100% sell every one of my limbs on the black market and shave my head if it meant I could bring her back to life; lol moving on...
Basically... I know that I have developed a tendency to perhaps not happily, but definitely comfortably take on the role that I had become accustomed to as a pre-teen. With my history of never putting up with my mom’s shit while also still remaining compassionate about it... Being the only one in our family who never guilt tripped her about it... Being the only one who enthusiastically would attend meetings with my mom and would even volunteer to read from the big book at said meetings, as well as help her cook food for the birthday potluck every month... idk... I thought that because my mom told me she couldn’t have done it without my support since my dad never really cared about it her much and mostly just made her feel bad about it all the time... I thought this meant that I was equipped to help someone like my boyfriend. And I’m still not convinced that I am not equipped to help, which is why I am here.
Also side note, I don’t drink. Like at all. It’s not fun and tastes like shit.
Anyway, my boyfriend has been drinking since he was 17. He is not violent, verbally or physically, but he does get stupid drunk and plays video games until 3-6am most nights, and that’s if he sleeps at all. He has admitted to me that he uses it as a coping mechanism, and says it’s partially out of boredom and because it’s “something to do”. He also cannot sleep when his mind is racing due to anxiety. I believe this is a larger portion of why he drinks, because he typically drinks until he curbs the fuck out and looks (god I love him so much but yeah) not at all cute and I seriously cannot wake him the fuck up when he gets like that. At least not all the way, since I lose patience and give up at around the point when he is about a quarter to halfway conscious.
He has not worked since August 9th. Previously he was working from home for a call center and from time to time yes, I have found cans of beer in his office (he’s never in there unless working). The reason he hasn’t worked since 8/9 is, or at least was at first, because he was hungover from his brother’s birthday party the day before. But, like with most addicts, a hangover day turned into two hangover days turned into “I just told my supervisor I need a week off” turned into “two weeks off” turned into me asking repeatedly how his supervisor was even allowing this bullshit to which he would always respond with placation of my concerns and trickle-truthing that, due to my current position as the unemployed partner collecting UI benefits, I felt I had no right to question him on.
I finally dug deeper and told him to quit fucking placating me with bullshit excuses and he admitted to me that the reason he hasn’t returned to work yet is that in order to keep his job, he said his supervisor advised him to open an FMLA claim (sure he did, because your employer wants to pay for your time off being ‘hungover’ babe are you forreal right now???). The requirement for the FMLA claim is that he seek a teletherapist for his ‘depression’. I put depression in quotes not because I don’t believe he is depressed. He 1000% is, but it’s not just depression that kept him out of work for those two weeks that forced him to open an FMLA claim. It’s literally his unmedicated BP2 and unmitigated consumption of alcohol. Well he finally got assigned a teletherapist through work (for free) last week. And just had the second weekly meeting with the guy a couple days ago.
He had to turn in paperwork that him and the therapist filled out and he claims that he will now be back payed for allllllll the shifts he has missed for the last 5, now going on 6 weeks.
I am not stupid. I researched the outcomes and decisions on FMLA claims similar to his since the day he finally admitted to me that that’s what was going on. I am 98% certain that he will not have all of the absences (prior to beginning to speak to a therapist) covered, and as a result, he will subsequently be fired.
I make $300 a week on unemployment and I have been busting my ass to not just find a job, but to find a job well-paying enough so that if when that happens, I will be able to afford our rent on my just salary alone. My name and his name are both on this lease. I already have an eviction on my record from when I was 19 freaking years old and it’s honestly a miracle we got this place at all, especially for the price we got it for.
He was prescribed Lamotrigine and Xanax, and that did okay for a while after the initial sickness wore off, but then he got the dreaded rash and had to discontinue Lamotrigine and was instead put on Seroquel which turned him into a zombie who could hardly function. He slept so fucking much. So he just kinda stopped taking it and had convinced me this was the right move to make, because he literally couldn’t wake up for work or for plans he had made sometimes. His drinking slowed during the few months he was taking these meds, but of course picked up again when he discontinued them and worsened after we moved into our own place.
I know this seems like an abrupt end to what was apparently my fucking autobiography, but just...
Please tell me what to do, please help me I want to cry. I just want him to start taking his medication again, but he says the guy who diagnosed him has been his family doctor forever that he is the same guy who threw Adderall at him when he was just a troubled child.
He keeps telling me this family doctor is script happy and will throw pills at any one who will believe the diagnosis he gives them. I’m worried his teletherapist is just that, a therapist, and doesn’t have the ability to prescribe him with the medication I truly think he needs. What in the hell do I do?
If you read this far, I’ll send you $1 on PayPal forreal just please help.
TL;DR- My boyfriend was diagnosed with Bipolar 2 earlier this year & after trying out 2 different medications for a few months, he has proceeded to discontinue use altogether claiming he doesn’t have BP2. He also drinks every single day.
submitted by phantorgasmic to u/phantorgasmic [link] [comments]


2020.09.17 16:21 AnniaT LV date Hall of Shame

Sorry if this is a repost, but after hearing about water and bubble gum dates, I was in the mood for a light hearted thread about the worst/ dustier dates we've experienced from the typical coffee dates to the more surreal ones. Or even just outrageous "date" ideas LVM suggested to you lol
And you queens? What are your hall of shame dusty dates? 😂
submitted by AnniaT to FemaleDatingStrategy [link] [comments]


2020.09.17 14:54 MaryJaneIceLilElly83 Starting to believe I have Medium capabilities and powers for the first time tonight

I suppose this is an introduction post for me! Since I am brand spanking new!! Lol thank you very much for having me also!!
So I will get straight to the point I went out on a date with a very lovely and very chivalrous gentleman this evening we actually got home not in the evening.
To say the least it was far closer to the early morning LOL probably about two if not three or so in the morning to be exact, we started down my local street just gone down pretty much every day for my entire life I know the streets very well I saw it I can only describe as figures that look like the head on overly baggy street clothes on them ( well just wearing them nothing out of the ordinary at all!) the only thing out of the ordinary at all about them was they appear to me made or even sew-in together with shadows !!! Literal shadows cause it was VERY. Obviously black as the night ebony sky!, however the material was quite obviously sheer and see through !
The cloths had no real detail to them all but dual, causal , average .... maybe even sporty? Or Athletic ? ........... some I would see for only a second if not two and they moved SERIOUSLY FAST!!! Well and yet they kind of didn’t it was almost as though they were moving quite obviously beyond the speed of light but the appearance they gave in the room I was seeing them in looked as though they were casually walking either of the sidewalk or down it or down a city sidewalk for all I knew!? At a very casual leisurely pace was what the man surely of them were doing and those were the ones that I saw the most stuff they were a lot of them they only showed up in ones or twos and they usually showed up near trees would appear for maybe one or two seconds and then they would go away, there were a few that showed up in the middle of the street, That we’re obviously out jogging getting exercise some of it felt like I was watching I’m not home videos but like pre-recorded videos of a fairly good Lee populated area maybe sort of like how the Truman show was?
None of them had any defining details and stood out above any of the rest they all are pretty much the same and after probably about 10 minutes or so of watching them appear in various different places ice rink to realize they were not paying attention to me they were not looking at me so, when I noticed I was not being paid attention to I did feel a bit more but ease but not entirely!
Lmao To be very blunt about it my skin is still goosebumps and my hair is still on its hands I’m not even looking at it and I can tell that lol!!
But I do not feel as though I reacted this way because I felt is the way it was in danger.
I feel is though I reacted this way because it is a part of my brain that is opening up yet more channels two parts of my powers that I am struggling to be made aware of which I was told by my elders that this would occur as I grew more and allowed myself to grow more.
I was told never to doubt divisions that I saw whether they be from the Fay, spirits of any kind, Astro, elemental probably a lot of things I am not even remotely aware of because there’s too damn much out there LOL. And I cannot remember but I think I was also told to not show fear or if I did have fear to at least control it as much as possible and to hold on to your spirit guides when you feel afraid for their the ones that will help guide you and keep you safe and guide you back to the light!!🌞💫
Being a newbie most everything in my brain it has to do with other rooms I cannot say that I know for sure what I saw was what I think it was and of course if I was to talk to my very very conservative mother who is also very Christian upstairs she’s of course tell me that it was all in my head??!!!
I cannot in good conscience tell myself that or believe it🤐😱🤭 I might not know what it was that I saw I am personally journaling this down myself as “shadow figures “I am sure somebody here will tell me that they go buy some thing else I am most certainly sure somebody will cause there’s always somebody out there that’s smarter than me LOL until I find a book about it and read it myself lmao !!! Lol yes I am a bratty lil B🤬!
Smartbutt lol but I think my nerdy geeky brain tryin lamely to calm itself the hell down also lol I know deep in my heart my god that this was the first experience for myself as in awakening medium, starting her journey into her power or abilities I guess might be a better term to use.
And I know that I am shaky as a leaf and have goosebumps and my hair standing on age is because despite what anybody else thinks or tails me til the day I die I know that this is my first interactive well maybe not interactive but at least View into a realm of the paranormal ! I know what I saw was paranormal activity of some degree and I don’t even know that much about paranormal stuff and I didn’t feel like I had to my gut told me that it was going on at least that basic knowledge was made clear to me by not a spirit guide per se but just my inner being told me that! Do you even though I panicked pretty decently in the car with my very very decent and chivalrous brave Viking boy toy!.... mean Date lol... No I was very very glad I had somebody with me at all honesty to help me through the experience it didn’t even last that long but because it just happened out of nowhere it was frightening there is just no other word that I can think of other than scary and frightening because it was paranormal and otherworldly and I just knew that even the fact that I knew that information without a shadow of a doubt was pregame creepy to be honest ,honest!
Lol so here ya GO LOL ya gets a newly beginning awakening medium , named Sarah DeRosier, from Columbia Missouri in your field of people now! And I am a huge jumpy scared cat of things that go bump in the night !
Yet I also ironically ADORE Dark Fantasy vs Light Fantasy! Have always seen my self on days in some ways a Goth Chic, I love dark wave music , and trance ! I am played probably more hours of vampire the masquerade and werewolf the apocalypse then it’s probably healthy for a young person that was in my early 20s I spent more time playing those games that I went out to bars and drink which was probably a better choice for me in the long run anyway!
When it comes to scary movies I am more into the older stuff black-and-white 40s 50s stuff like that or things that have to do with history! I think it’s grizzly and it’s gruesome as Jack the ripper is it has absolutely fascinated me to know and since I was literally probably 14 years old which is pretty morbid for teen. So I really got into movies such as her from hell and we really really enjoyed loving Penny dreadful when it came out because of how it was all about classic horror stories like Frankenstein and all my lovely favorites!
I’m really into monster movies and creature from the Black Lagoon is my all-time favorite I actually think the Blair witch Project is hilarious and actually it’s fairly freaking creepy at times too! I mean let’s be fair the camera is going everywhere and it’s mostly like a terrible carnival ride that you feel like you’re just gonna puke everywhere from oneside finally stops. But for independent film of the 90s with what they did the storyline was actually well done the acting was horrible it might’ve been a little overdone at times but horror movies what are you expect?
I guess when it comes down to it what I like about scary movies when I actually do watch them and I’m very very choosy about the ones I watch specially nowadays because if I wanna watch something to be scared then I’ll watch it to be scared if there’s going involved I’m fine with that!
What I am not however fine with is this obsession we have found yourselves in as a nation with Goreporn! Films now! I have never seen one of these films that people classify as this I’ve heard people tell me about them I will not ever ever see one I refused you I work in Medicine I don’t actually work in Medicine right now that’s a lie I intend on working in Medicine I am planning on getting my CNA hopefully by the first of next year and intend on going to classes for pre-nursing!
So I am not planning on being a stranger to blood guts and gore but this lets just make it ALLL. About the GORE OR ALL THE TORTURING thing goes on in movies it’s just gross and not showing a good side of humanity to me! ..... well that is if we are even willing to claim any sense of humanity in the new found genres of GOREPORN AND TORTUREPORN too me personally their none to had or found! That is the work of evil enties ONLY! ( or should be ! Spiritually and realistically from my Humble Young Female Pagan/Wiccan point of view) but it’s only mine alone I tilt hope I do not offend , for I certainly don’t wish it too !!!
Just when I hear about , I guess Saw , and Hostel come first off to mind! Having not visual and physically seen them, but from my minds eye have heard the Synopsis’s.
There utterly NO scare or horror factors to these films at all! It’s basically showing human being at their worst doing their worst ! In as much greasily gore filled detail as they can cram into two to three hours they can! That’s pretty much it! Or sit back and let see how long it take you!? Or your date to puke up that $14 popcorn SHE JUST HADDDDDD TO GET TONIGHT !
No for me I like Horror! Monster! Thrillers! Old and some new as well I don’t judge all just some!!! I actually loved the hell out of the IT movie lol I own part 2 and still have yet to find bloody time sit down an see it yet !
Now you might find it odd I guess I wrap up with my darknesses of self lol and of all things opinions on horror films of yester year and present is! The reason, mentioned so was for mostly two reasons was all!
  1. Lol what I do end up reading or watching as far genre of Horror is concerned is the same most people have for something like getting on a rollercoaster, or getting in an airplane and going sky diving ! Of bungee rope jumping ! I get a kick of of having lol short bursts of adderaline rushes every now and again!! Lol not to mention, if ya have a man, or women lol yes lgbtq ppl I am gonna say you could be here too lol I mean I am a bisexual 36 myself here! Lol ! But ANYWAY!! Lol wrapping one or both ur hand about your partner , during a scary movie of any sort! Let’s them know they are loved, cared for!, safe and protected as long YOU!!! THEIR LOVER ARE THERE!!! Lol
And let me real again ppl if ANY OF US! Young , old,single or married lol whatever want some kissy time, alone time with that movie date! That’s watching Netflix with ya in the lounge! Or your gal ya just went steady with, that ya went to take to the drive to see in FULL COLOR THE BLOOB!!! In your dads priceless reliable cherry apple red corvette , lol that gonna Bomp on down the road to Blueberry Hill for kiss and steam of Windows after the film of course!
Lol well either gen either time period or gotta whee you wanted to get with whom you were with ! So in conclusion of all that I watch Horror films for their cinemagaphic enjoyment , to be scared lol for adrenaline Rush fun purposes lol, and having fun, Romantic times with your loved one or ones lol.
But if all about me a dick and touturiing someone, or all about gore and gots ans grossness and that’s it! That’s a genre but saying or horror!? Is absurd and insulting !! Personally!
I am fairly sure some you could care less about all this! I simply take note of how easily I scare , at movies , or haunted houses things like this..... mentally in my mind. Right now , because I will have to face a very even more reality is now starting for me! All the thing lol at least by faith! Lol I knew to myself personally ! To be real and true are! But now that world is letting me see it ! Observe it! And I know VERY WELL INDEED ! I am sure too probably find , I would assume a type of doorway next!?
Or if not a doorway?! That exists by its self maybe find a way to draw one up and find a way to enter SAFELY ( and I would think most importantly also be able to exit as well and go ALWAYS have access to these while in the realm of the Medium! Or paranormal whatever it be lol sorry,.....)
Cause my elder taught me away to enter into the Astral and I Think possibly Elemental realms this way! For the purposes of meeting / greeting and being taught by my own personal Spirit Guides! He also made the VERY IMPORTANT ENDING STATEMENT OF THAT LESSON BEING!
“do not stay in their world, very long it can do damage to your body and more importantly , your mind can be damaged by being HERE TOO LONG!!!” And I am going to make a safe guess that this .... rule should just be followed for any inner , realms, Multi-verse, dimensional travel , lol or Tardis, Enterprise Star Fleet Ship, or other worldly travel ships AT ALL!!! PERIOD!! AND YEAH!!! I DO THINK THEY IS EXISTS😱🤗🛸🚀🛰🛡⚔️🔮🔱
Stay in or around places human beings or well I guess for us specifically I would think! Specifically Living human beings! Should not stay in , or be close or near by too! For too very long!! Just not Healthy for us! In a long term use anyway! I mean all of we can use and learn from and grow from! But this is not our home! And OFTEN WE CAN OFTEN BE ANYTHING! PREY, VICTEM, .... LIKE I SAID ANYTHING COULD BE THERE !!! GOOD OR BAD!!! Which is why I am here looking for new friends guidance !!! Of any type !!! Books, other groups!
I am just scared and afraid right now! But also excited as well! And am trying lol as best I can lol not sure how it’s goin to be honest.......... lmao But I am tryin VERY, VERY, VERY HARD TO BE BRAVE OF THIS NEW DARK (Shadowy) Unknown!
submitted by MaryJaneIceLilElly83 to Mediums [link] [comments]


2020.09.16 22:58 Evsd62 My Idea For An Expansion Pack: A Romance Pack

Okay, just fair warning, this is going to be a long post lol. This is my idea for an expansion pack and it's main features, gameplay elements, and some CAS & Build/Buy assets. I know people make posts like this all the time, but I just wanted to share my ideas because I think you guys would really enjoy it.

PREMISE
This entire pack will be focused on romance, and expanding romance for all life stages. (Not just young adults and adults, EA). There would be much more content in this pack than would be in a base game update centered around romance & things of that nature. The main gameplay elements would be different big life events (we'll get to those later) and a compatibility system (parts of what I have in mind could be a base game update, but we'll get to that). The main draw of this pack would be the immense expansion on romance and how it affects the life stages.

THE WORLD & THE FIRST BIG FEATURE
The world would be based off of a very romantic city. I was thinking Paris, France, or maybe somewhere in Italy. If I recall, I don't think we've had much to do with French architecture (not sure on that, please correct me if I'm wrong). The world would be split up into 3 neighborhoods. One of these neighborhoods would have a hotel. I think this makes perfect sense to add into a romance pack. It is very common to go on romantic getaways to hotels, and this is a feature which Simmers (like me) have wanted for a very long time. To make it clear, this would not be a vacation world, it would just have a lot in it in which you can vacation to. One of the other neighborhoods would be more in the city/main town square area, and the other would be more on the outskirts of the city area. I don't know if running a hotel would be a feature to add into this pack. Sure, it would make the hotel experience even more fun, but that doesn't really tie into the main premise of the pack, so I'm not sure. Hotels can be built in any world!

THE SECOND BIG FEATURE: A COMPATIBILITY SYSTEM
The compatibility system would be some sort of system that compared your sims traits, aspirations, and zodiac signs (a new feature which could be a base game update. Do you think that should come with base game or this pack?) and make it either more difficult or easier to successfully achieve a romantic relationship. Opposing traits and zodiac signs would mean it's more difficult to gain a relationship, as well as aspirations that would probably take you somewhere else later in life (For example, Sims with the City Native and Island Native traits would not be as compatible, because they want different things in life). But, I can see where this could become a problem for some players. What if you want opposites to get together? Well, I was thinking that, along with basic compatibility, you could set your sims preferences. You can choose 3-5(?) traits that your sim enjoys in other sims, and maybe even choose hair and eye color preferences, too! I think some sort of system like this which adds more depth to romantic relationships in general is key to making a romance pack work.

MORE LIFE EVENTS (PROM, HONEYMOONS, BACHELOR + BACHELORETTE PARTIES, FUNERALS)
The Sims 4 is currently lacking in regards to different life events. Nothing really feels special. I think adding proms, honeymoons, bachelor + bachelorette parties, and funerals makes different events and life stages much more interesting and unique!
Prom: Prom is a necessity if a romance pack was to ever happen. Whether it be an active event (which I'd prefer) or a rabbit hole, prom is one of the few things that can help make teen love, highschool, and teens in general better in the Sims. If you want a date to the prom, you'd have to actually ask someone. Possibly your crush (we'll get to crushes next!)? If they say yes, you have a date! You can slow dance together, win prom king or queen, or even try to sneak in some juice ;).
Honeymoons: This ties in with the hotel feature. After your wedding, go on a wonderful honeymoon with your new spouse! Whether it's a hotel, a cabin, or a home in the jungle, take your newlyweds out to start the next chapter of their life!
Bachelor + Bachelorette Parties: These would mostly be the same as the Sims 3 versions. Just a bunch of friends having a good time before their besties get hithced!
Funerals: I think this would be crucial for a romance pack because elders losing loved ones, especially spouses, should leave a lasting impact on future relationships and their life in general. Death should be a much bigger deal, and it has a lot of impact on romantic relationships. Death could now have an effect on future romantic endeavors. Maybe widowed Sims would have a hard time gaining romantic relationships with other Sims? The possibilities are endless.

CRUSHES
All life stages (excluding toddlers) can now develop crushes! You can choose your own crushes for your Sims, or they may develop them on their own! The crush may become more intense as time goes on if you decide to pursue it, or it could fizzle out. Anything can happen. This would also bring back lopsided relationships (in a base game update). Sims should now be able to have lopsided relationships, meaning one sims may have romantic feelings for the other, but they don't love them back. This would just help the expansion of relationships and romantic depth even more. Children and teens can also develop crushes on their fellow classmates!

OTHER FEATURES
I think their also needs to be more consequences in general, especially in regards to cheating and divorce. These things should leave a lasting effect on Sims, but this should be added to base game. I also think that dates could be a bit better. Having to just complete tasks is repetitive and boring. I don't really know how that could be improved upon though, what do you guys think?

BUILD/BUY & CAS
Build/Buy should consist of items that go with romance for each life stage. Not sure what all of that would be lol, but there are few things I know for sure:
-Definitely some furniture originating from France/Paris/Italy (if that's where the world is set)
-THE HEART BED FROM THE SIMS 1 OBVIOUSLY
-Decorations for prom/weddings/funerals
-Some romantic flowers? (Roses and such)
-Hotel furniture, like generic hotel beds and lobby items
-COUNTERS PLEASE
For CAS, I was thinking some French and Parisian attire, along with general date night attire, some prom and funeral clothing, maybe some lingerie.
All of these items must be as versatile as possible, which I think is very possible for a pack as integrated as this. Nothing is too specific. It takes the worth out of items if they can only be used in one place (looking at you, Batuu).

PACK INTEGRATION
I think this pack integrates very well with most other packs.
Get Together: Can make romance clubs, maybe even clubs for grieving and/or recently divorced Sims. Dancing will also come in handy at other events (slow dancing would be new to this pack, though)
City Living: There are lots of date places, the city is a great place to put a hotel, and the festivals are great date night locations.
Get Famous: Dating a celebrity could have different effects. You'd be pushed into the spotlight with them, being followed by paparazzi and such. This could even strain your relationship!
Island Living: Sulani is the perfect place for a wedding & honeymoon!
Dine Out: Restaurants are a wonderful place for dates!
There's probably more, but that's all I can think of right now!

THE ACCOMPANYING BASE GAME UPDATE
Usually, there's a larger base game update that comes with expansion packs and have something relating to them that aids in the expansions success. This base game update would add more relationship options to CAS (girlfriend/boyfriend, best friend, enemy, cousin, etc.), the ability to make vacation lots in any world, not just the vacation worlds, and possibly the zodiac signs? I don't really see how much that would add to base game, but it makes sense for them to add that, seeing as it was in past games.

TO SUMMARIZE
Phew, this was long. It kinda dragged on longer than expected lol. I haven't really thought of aspirations and traits, but if you have any thoughts on what they could be, comment and I'll add them to this post! Do you guys think this would work? Is there anything that you'd add or take away? Hope you enjoyed the read as much as I enjoyed coming up with it!
submitted by Evsd62 to Sims4 [link] [comments]


2020.09.15 03:47 PandaMcGee3 I passed my SAP-C01 exam on Saturday, and I'm 16. Any advice on how to get an internship/part-time job?

Hey all,
Just wanted to share my experience prepping for the Solutions Architect Pro exam and hopefully instil some confidence in those who are prepping for their AWS exams. I passed it this past Saturday (Sep 12th) and I just found out my score was 831. From the title, you'll know that I'm 16. I'm turning 17 this year, and have had no hands-on experience in IT beforehand (I only got my Solutions Architect Associate cert last summer). (Note - I just saw another person who's 17 and passed his/her SAP-C01 exam as well. Makes me feel a little embarrassed as it might seem that I'm full of shit hahaha, and wanted to look good as well. I swear, I'm 16 tho.)
I studied for 2 months, but for the first month or so, I wasn't really going "full out" ham on studying. I wasn't even reaching my study goal of 6 hours a day until the last few weeks before I took the exam. Here's what I used to study:
- ACloudGuru's SAP-C01 course
- Linux Academy's SAP-C01 course (which was deprecated recently)
- Jon Bonso's Practice Exams
- AWS' Own Practice Exam (I only took it as I had a free coupon for a practice exam from passing the SAA-C01 exam last year. This was a mistake. Don't do it.)
- Whitepapers (I read a bunch. Don't know if I actually retained any information from them. Tbh, I'm not sure why so many are recommended to be read by multiple prestigious AWS third-party training companies. Seems to me that the majority of them are focused for companies that are getting used to AWS/moving to the cloud.)
I'm not exactly in the mood to type out a long-ass summary about the specifics of what I did, and I don't think it will be very beneficial. So, to those who are grinding for their own cert/s, just use my post as a source of confidence!
About the other topic, tho - I feel like getting an internship is a great idea, no? I want to build a strong foundation, and I think that applying for an internship is the right way to go. Any advice on where to seek one/what companies I should be ideally working for? Just a heads up - I want to first intern before getting a real job also because my goal (and dream, too) is to get into a top US university. I've lived in Canada for over 10 years of my life, but I was born in California (thus, I'm considered as "out-of-state" - not "international"). I also feel like having an internship might look a little better on my university applications than just a regular job - I might be wrong.
But, after application due dates are over (November), I want to start making some "big bucks" and work part-time. Is working a part-time job as a solutions architect feasible? I feel like most companies are looking for full-time architects, but could I possibly be seen as some sort of a "child prodigy" (or teen, for that matter) and attract some potential businesses? I'm not sure at all.
I would greatly appreciate some advice and insight!
Note - I'm not delaying going to university. I think that's plain stupid imho and my main focus isn't to make money. I'm not worried about paying off my student debt at all, too. I will most definitely do co-op, or at least work part time thru post-secondary. Plus, my application letter looks extremely tempting, no? Tempting enough for schools like UCLA, Berkeley, Columbia, hell, maybe even Stanford and Harvard to provide me with scholarships?
Just a side note - I averaged a 95% overall in Grade 11 (idk how that translates into GPA) and I've checked all the boxes of volunteer hours (100+), school participation (i.e. clubs - most notably Model UN), and, obviously, extra-curriculars (AWS certs). Sadly, I haven't taken any AP/honours classes (because, for some idiotic reason, my high school doesn't provide any excluding AP calc). But, I have been challenging myself through my secondary years (which is what universities like to see).
I just realized that this post is going way too far away from the topic of AWS, and I apologize for that lol. Again, I would really appreciate some thoughts and advice. Cheers!
Proof of certification (I saw the other guy/gal do this, so I thought I might as well): https://www.youracclaim.com/users/charles-jia.9755c151
Edit: Also, if you really don't believe that I'm 16-turning-17, I'll send yo bumass a selfie through instagram. Screw all that "don't send strangers your photo" crap. If someone calling me out he catching these (virtual) hands.
submitted by PandaMcGee3 to AWSCertifications [link] [comments]


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